Do they both display a degree of rigidity, and if so, have you been able to observe how they work that out with one another?
They have so many similar traits but very different personalities. Emily is very outgoing and cheerful, and talks non stop. She is also kind of a slob. Danny is more quiet and lets her do most of the talking unless I remind her that I asked Danny the question. She is oblivious to what she is doing. Then he becomes aware too, and controls her more. Danny is a perfectionist and a neatnik, so they clash in that arena, but they seem to have worked it out, and he does most of the cleaning. She is an amazing cook and Dan loves to cook too, so they do alot of cooking together. They work a night shift (seperately) so their schedules are different than most families. (they have agreed to not have kids until he finishes school..............I hope she honors that, but knowing Danny, he will be certain they are using birth control)
It was pretty neat having a child that actually kept his room in perfect order. Rachel (Princess) did too, but I thought it was because she was a girl. The other boys were slobs. Nothing worked to make them keep their rooms neat, so I gave up and decided it was an inherited trait and they didn't inherit.
children received it naturally and consistently beginning at a very early age - so I think it just goes to show how important early intervention can be - especially if a child is born into a family with different dynamics
Since we didn't know he had Aspberger's, we didn't know we were doing anything right or wrong. We just instincitvely were supportive of his being who he is. There were odd times though. Rachel can tell you how her husband was warned not to laugh if Danny said or did something funny.....................he really hated having anyone laugh. He loved to tell jokes, but was uncomfortable with anyone laughing at them, so Steve thought we were one really weird family.
Danny has a great sense of humor but as a child and even as a teenager, he didn't seem to get jokes and it took him a long time to see a situation was funny, and not uncomfortable. He has and always has had a great sense of empathy but was still clueless oftentimes, in social situations about how to behave or how he came off to other people.
When he was in school, buyllying was a terrible problem but not recognized on a national scale like it is now. I got nowhere with the school authorities and they always told me he had to "toughen up". I argued that he wasn't the problem................but to them, he was. Finally by the time he was in high school, a bully extorted money from him, and I called the police. This time a law was broken, and believe me all hell broke loose, but the bullying ended forever. He was a Sophomore but his last 3 years of high school were happy for him. He wasn't a small, frail kid, so they felt they could beat him up................he was tall, very handsome but shy, and his personality made him an easy victim.
He was always interested in drama, putting on shows at home, and constantly dressing in costumes. I have pages in scrapbooks of Danny in different costumes he put together from a tiny boy on. Acting seemed to be in his blood, so he chose to be in Drama in high school and in Middle School too. The Drama teacher became one of Danny's most ardent champions, and loved him to death. He called me to alert me to the problem with the Senior who extorted money from Dan, and he was a great influence on Danny's life, and still is. They stay in touch. He is a great guy!! Everyone should have a teacher like that.
You can write me anytime about our Aspies!
Here is Dan and Emily's wedding photo
Marilyn