Advice on fade?

NotNorwich

Hello, I’ve just joined here and am hoping for some advice. I was baptised a long time ago but left soon after (da).

I recently returned and have a bible study. Was reinstated about a year ago. I have been having some serious doubts about the GB but haven’t mentioned them to anyone.

My mum has recently been unwell and I stopped my study and only zoom meetings. I am getting pressure to resume study and attend in person.

my question is, if I explained outright my doubts, do you think I would get shunned? I expect they may not have satisfying answers so I don’t know what the next step is. I don’t have family in so I’m not worried about that but I do have some cousins in another county that I would be really sad if they stopped talking to me.

The more doubts I have about the GB, the more I wouldn’t do certain things they say eg, shunning, blood etc. I haven’t had restrictions lifted yet so am not in ministry but wouldn’t want to anyway as not sure myself anymore.

I’m wondering whether to just come out with it or to just fade. Plus it’s hard to stop worrying about if I’ve got it wrong and ‘leaning on my own understanding’ etc.

i get that the bible wouldn’t be tailor made for my likings but there’s just some things I don’t think I could do.

Any advice gratefully received.

Thanks for reading

DesirousOfChange

I’m wondering whether to just come out with it or to just fade.

If you just come out and tell them what your thinking and that you have doubts, that may totally screw up your "fade". I assume that since you have managed to get reinstated, you do not want to do anything to jeopardize that so that you can maintain a relationship with JW family. It is especially dangerous to express doubts about the GB. "Don't you believe that the GB are the arrangement Jehovah is using to direct His Organization?" Answer that wrong and you're outta there again!

Probably best if you continue to play the "MOM IS SICK" card and tell them your schedule is SO BUSY at the moment that you are SO STRESSED OUT. Thank them for their love and concern and promise you'll see them real soon -- just as soon as you are able to get back in person.

Vanderhoven7

@notnorwich

You know you are in the wrong religion when you cannot leave with your reputation intact.

My fading advice is stop going to meetings altogether. If and when the elders call explain honestly but secretively that you are dealing with a personal issue. The hidden personal issue of course is doubts about the GB/F&DS. Thank them for their interest and inform them that if you need their help you will let them know.

Keep what is personal, personal and do your research yourself without Watchtower lenses. This forum is a good place to investigate as well as Jwfacts.com

WingCommander

1. Welcome!

2. Please, PLEASE - Keep your mouth shut!

3. You can't trust cult members, so see step #2 above.

4. Learn to use the word "No." Repeat as necessary, and do NOT offer any explanations. You don't owe them any, no matter how large their sense of entitlement and imaginary authority is.

Q: "Want to study this Tuesday night?" A: "No."

Q: "Want a ride the Sunday Meeting?" A: "No."

Repeat in the mirror until you've got it down. Turn and walk away if in person. If on the phone or email, state "No", then deflect away to another topic or ask them a question about something else to throw them off.

5. DA'ing is playing by this dumbass cult's rules. No need for that. Fading is the safest, most effective way to cut ties with cults.

6. Best of luck to you.

NotNorwich

Thank you for your replies. It does seem wrong that I’m wondering if I can be honest and ask some questions.

I already feel like a barnacle on a ship which I guessed was because I’m still under restrictions.

I think I irritated them with my concern over a peadophile in my congregation ( I have a 6 year old ). That took away my confidence in being open with issues.

I’m quite sad about it because I’d like to learn about the bible with like minded people.

NotNorwich

Thank you so much. Looks like I will keep my mouth shut then!

Xx

Dagney

Probably best if you continue to play the "MOM IS SICK" card and tell them your schedule is SO BUSY at the moment that you are SO STRESSED OUT. Thank them for their love and concern.

^^^This.

Say only this. I understand the feeling of wanting to be honest and up front, but it will not go well for you. You will get used to it eventually. This worked for me. There was fallout, and it's a nervous dance, actually still is a bit and I've been out for 22 years.

Good luck.

NotNorwich

Thank you! I guess it’s very telling that you can’t question them. Jesus performed miracles to prove who he was and I think the gb just have that Matt scripture which seems a bit vague. I heard the christadelphians and Mormons say that scripture means them aswell. I imagined asking them about that but won’t be now xx

Diogenesister

I understand not wanting to be dishonest. Many of us are hard wired like that. But if you want to maintain relationships, for yourself and your children's sake, I would use the fact your mother is unwell, quoting the bible verse about honouring your mother and father (Exodus 20:12) as a way of avoiding in person meetings etc

With time you can look for other Bible study avenues (David & Vivian Aspinal on You Tube, for example, you can contact). The one thing you can never, ever say is that you have doubts about the Governing Body. That will qualify you for immediate disfellowshipping on grounds of apostasy!

Dagney

Men make religion. They can make up what means what to their hearts content.

The person studying with you would most like not be able to answer anything about Christadelphians, or anybody.

My answer to my brother regarding the FDS, Matt. 24:45-46 clearly outlines the onus is on how the slave is treating the domestics, not if the domestics are obedient to the appointed slave.

Remember less is best in talking to them. I say be gracious and thankful for their concern but in a tone to suggest this discussion is over.

Advice on fade?

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