What to Believe In Now?

by Frannie Banannie 29 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

Frannie Banannie

Prior to being borganized, I was captivated by Bible scriptures and doctrines....but....after OD-ing on scriptural content and doctrines according to the borg for over two decades, I began researching the scriptures to discover too many inconsistencies, even in what was alleged to be God's word.....the writings of earthling men, said to be inspired by God.....
During the OD-ing, I experienced quite a few personal spiritual incidents or events, which served at the time to confirm to me that the scriptures themselves were valid as to their veracity and content.....BUT.... after researching and discovering the inconsistencies in them, I've wondered if the spiritual experiences I had were inspired by what I had read and believed in the scriptures, as I had *believed* in those words.....like....hallucinations caused by strong belief or brain-washing....you know my drift, I'm sure.....I DO know that some of the spiritual phenomena toward the end of my being borganized was leading me OUT of the borg...definitely...no questions about that....so....to me....even if there's the possibility that my experiences were caused by being immersed mentally and emotionally in scriptural content, the end result was good...and beneficial to me, since they did free me and open my eyes to the real truth of the matter......
Now that I've discovered the inconsistencies in the scriptures and religious doctrines, I have only blind faith in God left to me.....Even though I sense that He's here for me and listens and answers when I ask, it's sometimes difficult to deal with....I keep wondering if there isn't something or someone I should be putting my faith in....but the answer always appears to be "no"......I can't find God in a book.....I can't find Him in a building or organization.....I don't know what tomorrow....or next week, next month, next year or the next century or millenium will bring to mankind.....
Could it be that life is once again becoming an adventure for which I do not know what the outcome is? Like it was when I was young? If it is.....then Thank God!....for to always know what and where I was supposed to be and what tomorrow and the future would bring was to live in fear....fear of not living up to my part in someone else's plan.....be it God's or mankind's.....I much prefer to "pioneer" my life....one day at a time....even if I don't know what to expect from it....Should I seek enlightenment beyond what has been given to me?
Frannie B
SanFranciscoJim

Frannie,
Have you ever seen the movie Contact? (Or read Carl Sagan's novel upon which the movie is based?) Many people believe it is a cute sci-fi movie about space aliens. In actuality, it is about mankind's struggles with faith versus science. I find myself in that struggle. While I do not consider myself atheist, I no longer pray or have any direct contact with a god. I cannot resolve within myself if prayer/meditation actually drew me closer to a Supreme Being, or whether I wanted contact with a Higher Power so badly that I conjured one up in my mind.
If he is real, I hope he will reveal himself to me. The old adage says "nature abhors a vacuum", and that is what I am in. It's lonely out there without someone/something to pray to, but I do not feel a "presence" in my life any longer. The Bible states: "Faith is the assured expectation of things hoped for, the evident demonstration of realities though not beheld."(Hebrews 11:1)
I would hope that if the "loving" God of the Bible really exists, he will provide an "evident demonstration". I do not wish to not believe in God, but I need evidence. Had I not been a JW, faith may have come to me a lot easier, but when you're duped once, it's hard not to be a cynic.
bikerchic

Could it be that life is once again becoming an adventure for which I do not know what the outcome is? Like it was when I was young? If it is.....then Thank God!....for to always know what and where I was supposed to be and what tomorrow and the future would bring was to live in fear....fear of not living up to my part in someone else's plan.....be it God's or mankind's.....I much prefer to "pioneer" my life....one day at a time....even if I don't know what to expect from it....Should I seek enlightenment beyond what has been given to me?

Yeppers..........
We all need something to believe in.........I believe I'll have a beer.
Good post Frannie, I'm still redifining my beliefs nice thing about it is I"m in no hurry the big A isn't right around the corner anymore for me. In other words I'm not motivated by fear. Like you said "one day at a time" and my mantra as of late is "keep it simple stupid".
Kate
Mindchild

Hiya Frannie
The way you described things in your post, it looks to me like you are making excellent progress in your personal evolution. You have demonstrated skills in researching and analysis and you are not afraid to question "untouchable" subjects. Good on you for all this.
You know, I wish I had the benefit of all the condensed information you can find on this site and the benefit of so many people exploring new paths, but as it was I left the Borg over 20 years ago and it took me a few years to put all the questions to rest and come to terms with consensual reality vs. conceptual reality (the make believe world of the Witnesses).
Perhaps a good next step for you might be to discover why people have beliefs at all and what causes them to accept things that, from an outside viewpoint, look completely ridiculous. When you get to this point, you will discover the world of memes, mind viruses, and genetic influences on behavior. When you better understand the psychological dynamics involved in all of these factors then maybe you will be another victim of the "tragedy of knowing" and what that entails (uh, sometimes reality isn't as pretty and nice as we want it to be) but hey it beats being swept away with the crowds in collective stupidity (i.e. being a Witness).
May I suggest a good starter book on memes to further your exploration? You might enjoy the easy to read "Virus of the Mind" by Richard Brodie. Look up memes in the search feature on this site to get other book recommendations.
Kind Regards,
Skipper
Frannie Banannie

Have you ever seen the movie Contact? (Or read Carl Sagan's novel upon which the movie is based?) Many people believe it is a cute sci-fi movie about space aliens. In actuality, it is about mankind's struggles with faith versus science. I find myself in that struggle. .....

SFJim, yes, I've seen Contact and it appears to be as you say....as a matter of fact, I just got through reading a MOST interesting novel by Dan Brown entitled Angels and Demons This story IS about religious faith vs. science.....the Catholic Religious heirarchy opposed by the infamous Illuminati a group of scientists opposed to religion for centuries....in an attempt to overthrow religion.....the most startling thing revealed in the book is that a physicist has developed a way to create anti-matter and harness it in a vaccuum to an extent....and in so doing has answered the question of how the earth and all that is in it was created from nothing at all....anti-matter, which consists of both light and dark.....thus connecting the story of creation with the "big bang" theory....amazing.....
I find myself in that struggle. While I do not consider myself atheist, I no longer pray or have any direct contact with a god. I cannot resolve within myself if prayer/meditation actually drew me closer to a Supreme Being, or whether I wanted contact with a Higher Power so badly that I conjured one up in my mind.
If he is real, I hope he will reveal himself to me. The old adage says "nature abhors a vacuum", and that is what I am in. It's lonely out there without someone/something to pray to, but I do not feel a "presence" in my life any longer. The Bible states: "Faith is the assured expectation of things hoped for, the evident demonstration of realities though not beheld."(Hebrews 11:1)
I would hope that if the "loving" God of the Bible really exists, he will provide an "evident demonstration". I do not wish to not believe in God, but I need evidence. Had I not been a JW, faith may have come to me a lot easier, but when you're duped once, it's hard not to be a cynic.
SFJim, I totally understand your point of view....I've had the same questions, but the one thing I don't seem to let go of is the fact that God or a deity or spirit creature of some sort DOES exist.......I just don't look for Him where others say they've found Him, specially when they're relying on men, orgs or books to define Him for them....I feel like IF He exists, He's a part of me or I'm a part of Him....I have a life force or source in me, so I don't bend a knee....or make a formal plea or prayer....I just talk to Him in my mind and from my heart.....I think that He's shown me evidence of His existence and His love for me by using what I believed to draw me out of the borg and then revealed to me the inadequacies of the things I had believed in....now I can only walk forward....into the unknown future....one day at a time.....never knowing absolutely what tomorrow will bring.....and learning to "listen" for His voice...and to look for the "signs" He gives.....
I don't know what will "work" for you where evidence of a reason to believe in God or something or someone akin to God is concerned, SFJim.......I think it might take reaching out to God on your part, though....I don't think He's gonna ride up on a bicycle and say, "Yo! Jimbo...I'm here..." ....and I think if you just reach out, He can teach you how to "listen"...according to your own personal ability to comprehend His presence or answers.....
Buona Fortuna!
Frannie B
drwtsn32

I consider myself an atheist because I see no evidence to believe in a god... just FYI.
But if a god did exist, I cannot believe he is the god of the Christian bible. That god is jealous, wrathful, vengeful, etc. If god exists I also cannot believe he would be so petty as to care about all of the requirements that religions place on their followers. Would such a superior being really care if you went to church on Sunday instead of Saturday? Would he really care if you laughed at a "dirty joke"?
If god exists it would seem that all he would really care about is if we tried living good lives.... eg, follow the "Golden Rule".
My dub mom said I would be drifting aimlessly through life without any answers if I left the org. You know what? I love not having the answer to everything! For once I can think about things and consider different possibilities, but I don't have to set in stone any particular belief or shove it down someone else's throat.
Singing Man

LOL, I belive that one day we will all be drawn into the spiritual quest that I call the "great perhaps".
Its a great all consuming, bathing, refreashing, light, we will leave this clasical mess behind in a flurry of forgotton dreams.
Frannie Banannie

We all need something to believe in.........I believe I'll have a beer.
I'm still redifining my beliefs nice thing about it is I"m in no hurry the big A isn't right around the corner anymore for me. In other words I'm not motivated by fear. Like you said "one day at a time" and my mantra as of late is "keep it simple stupid".

LOL, Kate! Obviously, I'm redefining my beliefs, too....on a daily basis....like you say....it's a K.I.S.S. thang....I hafta keep it simple, too, cherie.....
to put all the questions to rest and come to terms with consensual reality vs. conceptual reality (the make believe world of the Witnesses).
Yesssss, Skipper...that's what I'd like to do....to be able to determine which is which in my life....
Perhaps a good next step for you might be to discover why people have beliefs at all and what causes them to accept things that, from an outside viewpoint, look completely ridiculous. When you get to this point, you will discover the world of memes, mind viruses, and genetic influences on behavior. When you better understand the psychological dynamics involved in all of these factors then maybe you will be another victim of the "tragedy of knowing" and what that entails (uh, sometimes reality isn't as pretty and nice as we want it to be) but hey it beats being swept away with the crowds in collective stupidity (i.e. being a Witness).
I'd certainly like to understand why we humans have and seem to need beliefs....I've already dealt with a mind virus of sorts....it deals with the pure language of numbers as applied to the language of words.....do you realize how many numerical alphabets there ARE to be dealt with even in one language????? I've attempted to reconcile the two with a plethora of differently contrived numerical alphabets...it winds up becoming a "mind virus"....it makes my brain numb just thinking about it and how it affected my thinking processes.....and the "tragedy of knowing" is now understood by me....which is why I am so relieved to just keep it simple now.....
May I suggest a good starter book on memes to further your exploration? You might enjoy the easy to read "Virus of the Mind" by Richard Brodie. Look up memes in the search feature on this site to get other book recommendations.
Skipper, I'll certainly look into memes and consider the book by Richard Brodie...thanks for the recommendation.
Frannie B
Frannie Banannie

But if a god did exist, I cannot believe he is the god of the Christian bible. That god is jealous, wrathful, vengeful, etc. If god exists I also cannot believe he would be so petty as to care about all of the requirements that religions place on their followers. Would such a superior being really care if you went to church on Sunday instead of Saturday? Would he really care if you laughed at a "dirty joke"?
If god exists it would seem that all he would really care about is if we tried living good lives.... eg, follow the "Golden Rule".

Doc, the God I'm becoming acquainted with is much more "laid back" than the God depicted in the bible.....He's not anal-retentive about the things that pseudo-xtians claim Him to be uptight about, such as outward appearances, days of the week, or what we find humor in....but, as you considered, the "golden rule" is His "rule of thumb", so to speak....
I love not having the answer to everything! For once I can think about things and consider different possibilities, but I don't have to set in stone any particular belief or shove it down someone else's throat.
LOL, Doc!! Me, too! .....me, too....
Frannie B
Frannie Banannie

LOL, I belive that one day we will all be drawn into the spiritual quest that I call the "great perhaps".
Its a great all consuming, bathing, refreashing, light, we will leave this clasical mess behind in a flurry of forgotton dreams.

LOL, Singingman.....mmmm.....I think that's where I'm headin', dontcha think?
Frannie B

What to Believe In Now?

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