I try to avoid them, situations where I end up hurting/disapointing/pissing off, one person, in favor of pleasing another. None the less, it happens to me on occasion.
"Do what you feel in your heart to be right - for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't."
Eleanor Roosevelt (1884 - 1962)
I feel like that. I did what was *right* tho. And helped out one friend, and in order to do that, I let down another. I hate this. I wanted to simply organize a nice weekend with my friends, one thing let to another, plans where made, expectations were raised.
And then I got a phonecall from my mum, who "needs" me just that weekend. And I was put on the spot, to either let my mum down, or my friends. After talking, thinking, raving and being pissed at everything and everyone, I choose to help out my mum, who put me in an awkward, and unfair position.
And then one of my friends got annoyed with me for this, and another tried to help me out... and before I knew it, tensions within the group were brought to light, paradise was lost.
Do you know the feeling that your life is not your own? Within a day, I have been accused of too many things. Actions I have done in the past, have been dragged up, and thrown in my face, unrightly so, I think. I have been accused of never thinking of others feelings, and others thoughts, when I acted on and just lived my own life.
So I sit here, not happy with any of this. "Damned if I do, and damned if I don't." One stone in the water, can lead to a huge disruption in the pond. I have managed to bring to light tensions between my dearest friends, and create a huge tension between me and my mum, all in one day, and all I simply wanted to do, was bring me and my friends together and have fun.
-
A Sad Blue Bubblegum Girl