SINGLE or MARRIED : What do you LIKE and DISLIKE

by frenchbabyface 87 Replies latest jw friends

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  frenchbabyface

  (((Sens)))
  LOL and not LOL - You'll find someone better for sure

  Special K : I cheer and support him as he reaches for his goals and he supports me in mine.

  yeah that's good !!!

  Nosferatu :
  Positives to Being Single: It can be fun, exciting, and challenging playing the dating game. You discover what you like and don't like in the opposite sex. You also have all the freedom you want.
  Negatives to Being Single: If you figure out how the whole game works, it becomes too easy and ends up being boring. It turns into a never-ending cycle of meet, date, breakup. You also become more prone to STDs
  
  Positives to Being in a Relationship: You get to invest in a mate. There is no boring cycle because you're continually advancing. You get to experience living with someone, having children with them, etc. You can also develope trust in the other person. Very low risk of STDs.
  Negatives to Being in a Relationship: Less freedom and making sacrifices. There is also the risk factor of investing in something that may or may not last.

  as usually I agree with you on those stuff too

  (((Yeru)))it's hard to hear that ... Do you stay because of the kids or because your wife needs you or what I d'like to understand

  Rocketman :
  You can look back on that and cherish it (provided it's good, lol).
  yeah I agree with that too ... but it works with friends also

  Stacy : I won't date exclusive either. If someone expects that it's time to move on.

  Take your time anyway and never say never ... but Yeah be yourself

  (((Izzi2cool)))WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ? I don't understand you seems to be so cool !!!

  (((Badger))) Yeah I think so (it was just the wrong person for sure) ...
  Don't worriYou'll find better than that sooner ...
  See Nosferatu find his NEW SWEET WIFE
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  oldcrowwoman

  Relish Singlehood me self
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  Badger

  Another thing I like a bout being single...

  Opportunity and experience: Now I know what I'm looking for, what I want and what I need. Plus, I'm in a position to find someone better.
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  maybesbabies

  I've had one loveless marriage, got married waaaaaaay too young, but my dad had abandoned me in CA at fifteen, and this guy was all I had. It started out as what I thought was love, but ended up with me being totally dominated. He chose what I wore, what I ate, where I went, what friends I could visit, etc. Right now I've been in a relationship for three years, and we've had our ups and downs. The thing is, it's changed so much since when we first met, and since we moved to Ohio 3 months ago. When we first met, we'd go backpacking by the ocean, tell each other intimate secrets, we shared everything, and always encouraged each to reach our goals. Now, I hardly see him, he's always at his brothers house, doesn't want to go out and do anything (I literally know only 3 blocks of this town, becuase he won't show me the area), just sits around and plays video games, won't talk to me (he says he "doesn't want to hear it", or it just doesn't interest him). We only have one car now, his, which is a stick shift, and he refuses to teach me how to drive it. One of the worst parts is along with the emotional intimacy being gone, the physical has gone as well. I feel like I'm in a kind of limbo! I don't know, maybe I'm just not good at relationships, or maybe this is just a rough spot. The things that I do like about being in a relationship are: the intimacy (physical and emotional), sharing goals, encouraging each other to go after our hearts desires, having someone there to laugh and to cry with, and the support you get from your partner.
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  Dansk

  I met my wife --------- wait for it ---------------- whilst giving blood (we were both donors at the time - pre JW days). There was an empty couch next to mine and Claire was asked to lie on it and give blood - she didn't realise she was catching a husband at the same time (must have been because her immunity became low!).

  In December we celebrate 25 years together - and given the chance I'd marry her all over again. I don't regret it for one moment, she is my best friend, my lover, my soul-mate - my life!

  Dislikes: the times I upset her. I wish I could take them back.

  Dansk
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  Nosferatu

  One of the worst parts is along with the emotional intimacy being gone, the physical has gone as well.

  The things that I do like about being in a relationship are: the intimacy (physical and emotional), sharing goals, encouraging each other to go after our hearts desires, having someone there to laugh and to cry with, and the support you get from your partner.

  I feel like I'm in a kind of limbo! I don't know, maybe I'm just not good at relationships, or maybe this is just a rough spot.

  I highly doubt this is a rough spot, maybesbabies. It sounds like you've still got JW traits inside of you, but instead of an organization controlling you, it's your boyfriend. Did you ever think that maybe HE's the one who's not good at relationships?

  Now, I hardly see him, he's always at his brothers house, doesn't want to go out and do anything (I literally know only 3 blocks of this town, becuase he won't show me the area), just sits around and plays video games, won't talk to me (he says he "doesn't want to hear it", or it just doesn't interest him). We only have one car now, his, which is a stick shift, and he refuses to teach me how to drive it.

  It takes two people to make a relationship work, and obviously he isn't putting any work into it. Why stay with somebody who has no interest in you? You're wasting time with someone who doesn't give a shit about you, when you could be spending your time looking for someone who will.
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  maybesbabies

  I never thought about that, Nosferatu, thanks! I guess it's that feeling that it wasn't always like this, and it makes me think that maybe what we had can be regained. Maybe when I find a job here I'll just go be single for a while, some of the posts here have made a pretty good argument for it!!!!!
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  Yerusalyim

  Frenchbabyface,

  I stay partially because of kids, partially because of fear of her committing suicide (this was the whole reason I let her come back in December when she had left me), and honestly, partially out of fear of the unknown.
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  Stacy Smith

  frenchbaby

  never say never

  Sure a relationship could grow to the point where I don't want to be apart. But the kids. I won't have them. I wouldn't make a good mother and I know I wouldn't and I don't like kids that much to begin with. At some point in time I will have surgery to assure myself of this. Most likely after I've turned 25 or so.

  Yeru I feel sorry for you and your situation. I hope you can get past this relationship one day.
• 

  frenchbabyface

  Oldcrow

  Yeah Badger you are on the good way

  Maybesbabies ... what Nosferatu Said !!! There is no balance here ...
  Maybe you should meet Badger !!! Oooops ... your choice anyway

  First MaybesBabies you can let a man know how much you love him (so he can't regret you when you won't be there anymore) ... BUT ... never let a man know, how much he's got contrôl on you (even if you love him to death !!! NEVER)If he doesn't answer your needs one way to manage this kind of guy :
  1) He wants you home just as a stupid housewife = ok be out (working out / visiting friends / stay at your office / I mean forget about being THERE FOR HIM
  2) He don't want to go out with you = ok go out with friends / colleages of work or whatever ... (just tell him before ... SO ...He will be the only one to blame )
  If he don't care : Good ... that just means it's time to move ... love is somewhere else
  If he cares he will be able to answer your needs and you'll be back on track together (with balance)
  This way at least you are not wasting your time/life ...

  Nosferatu you should open a counseller office !!!