by shamus 10 Replies latest watchtower scandals
I just wanted to let everyone know that I want to get on with my life and my feeling sorry formyself additude. It's over. I am going to learn from the past, and press ahead.
This may have come to some of you... how did you get tired of living out the past and getting on with life after the dubs?
Let me say that the depression has lifted for now, and I need to move on. Although we do this in different ways, how did you do it?
Your thoughts would be very much appreciated!
Shamus
It is hard to be depressed and angry at the same time.
Right now you are on an adrenaline high. Feel the momentum and the energy it can give you. The energy for the cause of today can become the energy that makes YOU the cause for tomorrow. Remember the feeling because the stregth if always there. We can use it to move forward or turn it in on ourselves and turn it into depression.
Feel the energy and the strength. Enjoy it. Control it. And remember it for all the tomorrows
whew! for a second there i thought you meant you were leaving the forum.
Dub-dom was such a big part of my life since i was raised in the troof, and i dont think i'll ever truly "get over it". I think that building new relationships has helped and learning to enjoy each day as it comes has definately helped me to keep from feeling distraught about the past. Dubs dont always let themselves enjoy the present because they are taught that "this system of things" is doomed and all their hope is in some distant distant future. I've learned to let myself have fun and take pleasure in little things, like seeing our daughter learn how to ride her bike without training wheels, or even just enjoying a nice glass of wine, and a good meal.
good topic Shamus
The WTB&TS is responsible for a lot of depression and a host of other maladies. It is easy to say something but hard to really do it. I know! I go through the same thing and it is difficult to push the BS and bad experiences out of your mind. But hang in there and NEVER give up!
1. Try to keep a (PMA) positive mental attitude about everything.
2. Take a lot of what "nay sayers" do and repeat with a grain of salt.
3. Establish some goals for yourself (write them down) such as schooling, shopping, TRUE FRIENDS, simply walking around and being nice to people and helping your neighbors out if need be or what ever you feel the need to contribute to your local community.
4. If need be, feel free to tell one of the R&F to kiss your ass. It will make you feel better!
5. Do something that YOU want to do. Keep it simple and move on to other desirable things within your scope of living.
6. Have fun.
7. Don't feel guilty about enjoying your life and making decisions that YOU WANT.
8. Don't ask permission from anyone. (within reason of course)
9. Take one day at a time and strive to the best of that day!
And etc..........................
Mr. KIM
((((((Shamus)))))
For me the building blocks were therapy, treatment for alcoholism, sobriety support group, and various support groups for abuse issues. Gave me tools to work with in life. To be quite honest if I had'nt taken responsibility for self. I would not be here chatting with you today.
Always seeking ways to empower myself. The biggest one was participating in the SilentLambs march in New york. Sharing my story, breaking jw laws like walking into churches, taking $5.00 to a casino. And the machine took it. lol but the sky did not fall in on me!! Supporting others. Donating money for exjw causes. Spreading flyers for SilentLambs. The list goes on !!
Shamus sounds like you are channeling your energy in the right direction. I admire your spunk 
!!!!
Old Crow
Hi:
I would say that the greatest way to "get over it" is to deal with those issues from our past in a productive way. And then, building ourselves up. I would say that I did this by getting a college education after leaving the JWs and then rebuilding my belief system. In addition, years of therapy helped me to put much of my past into perspective and assisted me with a plan for rebuilding myself for the future. I hope this made sense.
Jeff S.
My years of depression left when I got rid of the things causing it. My religion and my marriage. Find out what causes it and deal with the problem. Facing my problems head on gave me the peace of mind and happiness that I was looking for. Continually set goals and give yourself the time to reach them. Nothing happens overnight. Glad to hear you're doing better.
((((( Shamus )))))
Hate to rain on the parade. In order to "get over it" you have to WANT to "get over it"
Visiting this board, is not likely to hasten that desire. Too much happening, that only fuels the feelings of hurt, anger and despair IMO
That's why those who can, move on. Thinking of proplog, who authored the thread "I'm cured"
xjw_b12 who isn't over it yet, and will likely never be...
Years and years and years of therapy has helped me to:
1. Shed the jw guilt ... and tune into my heart and intuition and follow my own desires (rather than the rules of a book publishing company.)
2. Shed the jw fear ... no longer buy into the "I'm not good enough" co-dependent attitude.
3. Find my passion and follow it ... for meee it is ballroom dancing and other creative avenues.
4. Get to know who I was individually and personally ... not as a jw-bot.
5. Re-parent myself ... be myself and not something my parents chose for me. There are good books in the library about reparenting ourselves, if raised in a dysfunctional, alcoholic, grief-striken or otherwise co-dependent family.
6. Re-create my spiritual self ... by shedding all the jw-isms and replacing them with something useable and healthy. I shed all the jw beliefs and re-learned, re-examined all my spiritual beliefs. I embraced the ones that work for me (not for a book publishing company) ... now.
7. Set myself free from jw bondage and be true to myself.
8. Love and accept myself no matter where I am on my life's journey.
9. Embrace where I came from realizing it has made me the magnificent person that I am today!!!!Intuitive and loving and compassionate.
10. I am still learning to release the past and leave it where it is meant to be -- in the past. Then I will probably disappear from JWD.I'd be willing to make guest appearances, though!!!
ESTEE
What works for me: Everytime I have negative, guilty thoughts, I remind myself of the pain the Witnesses have caused, to me and to everybody. Do I owe them anything more? NO! And I refuse to let them make me feel bad any longer. They had control of my past, that can't be changed, but the future is mine! Practicing karate helps me to feel in touch with my own power, too.
