Well, after thinking about all the bad experiences, I just wanted to know, did you know any GOOD elders, and what were they like? Probably unconventional, right? Here is my example:
One of the only elders I knew that I truly thought was a wonderful person is my father. I really do feel that perhaps if all elders were like him, then the organization would not be intolerable. He didn't grow up a witness, so I think maybe that is why he was so down to earth. He also had a lot of experience. He is a very smart man, not one of the more logical (my mom plays that role) but very compassionate, empathetic and caring. He is also egalitarian in the way he interacts when women and my mother. They truly are equals even though they still preach the "headship" crap...I guess they are hypocrites in that area. I always remember my parents having discussions about the treatment of women in foriegn lands and that my father would be upset about how a woman he worked with was very qualified but would get discriminated against by male workers. I think having a strong wife (my mom) and 3 daughters helped out that way in his feelings. My father has been somewhat quite to me but I did not blame him...the congregation put extra pressure on him. However, he has gotten over that lately, by helping me out, and we talk a lot on the phone lately.
When the molestation cases were in the news a lot, it hurt my conscience about my father being an elder and perhaps might be involved in cover ups...I would not beleive that he would do that. So I had to ask him about it. I know my father would not cover up molestation cases because of something he had told me. He worked on a case with this couple who had been both recently baptized. Well then also just had a baby and aparently, the other family members who were not family members wanted the baby taken away from the couple because they claimed the father abused the baby. My father (and a couple other elders) stood by the couple initially. The wife claimed that the other family members were bitter and hated JW's and would do anything they could to hurt them, like getting the DFS to take their baby away. Well my father did some more investigation, and I remember him early on stating to me that "someting just wasn't right" and he got an "eerie" feeling about the husband. Turns out that the husband WAS abusine the child. My father was so pissed at the couple, he was so disgusted by the husband, and was so mad that the mother would protect her husband and not the baby. No one backed them at that point and they were disfellowshipped. The only disfellowshipping I have ever known to be a fair one. This is not a case about molestation, but a very disturbing abuse either way. It was my father who had talked to authorities against these people, even before they were disfellowshipped. A little after that, my dad stepped down from being an elder...not sure if this had something to do about it. He is still in good standing though, and I was under the impression that is was the stress that got to him, can't be to sure though. He is a very respected man inside and outside the religion...and he IS deserving of that respect. He also has an incredible hot daughter. ;)
There, thats my dad.
This is the GOOD elder thread
by jwbot 28 Replies latest jw experiences
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jwbot
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shamus
ABSOLUTLEY! I CAN THINK OF 3!
One, who was the congregation overseer, or presiding overbeer, was excellent. I told him what I thought of the other elders, and how badly they treated me. He was excellent, and followed up with me. He was extremely kind, friendly, caring, and genuine. I will never forget that man. He stepped down as P.O. later. I guess he had enough.
There were 3 in my other cong, all at once. They were very kind and nice. They were not overbeerers at all. Those, too, I shall always remember.
The rest were absolutley horrible. No lie.
To those who were kind to me, THANK YOU! (4)
To the rest, (20+), BITE ME!
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tinkerbell82
nearly all of the elders i grew up with were really intelligent, good-hearted people who sincerely believed they were doing the right thing, like most witnesses i knew. i was a little bitter about their treatment of my mom when she was disfellowshipped, but i think they do the best they can with the training theyve received and i can't fault them for that. theyre trying to make a faulty system work as best they can. i wouldnt want to be in their shoes.
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shotgun
That's great jwbot that things are a little better with your dad
I can honestly say from my experience most of the elders were for the most part good and caring people...On the other hand so far all the elders I've met are also blind guides..towing the company line thinking that they are protecting Gods flock and representing truth...
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Nosferatu
I can name only one elder, who had a glass eye. When I was going to meetings, he showed interest, just like everyone else. When I showed up at a JW funeral, One elder shunned me, one "encouraged" me, but this one elder kept everything religious out of it. He didn't give me the old "glad to see you here" shit. He actually showed interest in me. That was very shocking, considering his brother-in-law was the one who shunned me.
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waiting
Doyle Coonrod (I know - the name sucks) - Frankfort, IN a good guy all around. I think he finally stepped down in the early 90's - health. His most memorable statement? "You know, when they wanted us to be elders in the 70's, they said the end was coming soon - so it wouldn't extra work for very long. It's been 20 years and I'm tired."
Don Sparks, Indianapolis IN, Eastgate Cong. Chrysler paid for him to take a college course one time. He picked Statistics........and loved it. If he'd gone to college, he would have lived engineering. A True Believer in a gentler way, and a good man.
Don Needham, Indianapolis, IN Eastgate Cong. Weird, intelligent, odd, ...and funny. A True Believer though - reg. pioneer for decades.
I've lived in South Carolina for 20 years. I've NEVER met an elder who'd compare to any of these men. Don't know why - here & there, just ordinary men. Perhaps because this is the Bible Belt?
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willyloman
jwbot wrote:
A little after that, my dad stepped down from being an elder...not sure if this had something to do about it. He is still in good standing though, and I was under the impression that is was the stress that got to him, can't be to sure though.
From your post, including the above, I feel like I "know" your dad. I don't really know him, but I know the type. Your instincts are good. There are many, many men in the org who have stepped down from this position because they felt they were being forced to compromise their integrity. Some leave or slowly drift away, but many stay and go about their business, learning to "do the truth" their way, on their own terms. Thus, your dad feels free to talk to you like a daughter and doesn't toe the party line. The man is out; he just hasn't left yet. Perhaps he has no place to go. Count your blessings, girl.
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Aztec
To be honest I can't think of any bad elders in my experience. I'm sure there were plenty of things I didn't see though. As an elder's daughter and a PO's grandaughter I was privy to a bit more information than the average member of the congregation. My Grandfather was a great PO. He was an extremely sensitive and generous man. He was rather well off compared to the average citizen of rural Northern Michigan and he definatly looked after the flock. He rented homes that he owned to members of the congregation and did not bother them if they were a bit late. He gave money to more than a few people who having difficulties. Whenever he and I went out in service together he always made a few sheparding calls and tried to impress on me the importance of looking after the sick and spiritually weak. Kind of strange for someone in such a sexist organisation to bother this much with the education of a young girl eh? But then, I was his favorite grandkid. My Grandfather is someone I truly miss.
~Aztec
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stillajwexelder
I honestly thought I was a good elder -- reasonable -- not pharasaical -balanced -- did a lot of shepherding
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Maverick
jwbot: It is nice to read of a daughter writing something nice about her Dad. Your father sounds like a stand-up guy. He should be proud of, and impressed with, you. I know I am. Maverick