by caligirl 16 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
Cali - let me know if you need to talk...I've been there with my folks and know exactly what you're going through and knowing your mom I can imagine how difficult this was.
We're thinking of you all... (( cali ))
RGW
I check in here off and on but you can always email me !
At least she agreed that I would be DF?d as an apostate if I admitted to an elder that I did not believe they were God?s channel, even if I had never uttered those words to another living soul. I asked her how I could be considered a threat to anyone?s spirituality if I never told anyone how I felt. It is not as if I would go up to anyone I knew to be a witness and say ? Hi! I don?t believe that the witnesses have the true religion? but yet I would be DF?d and it would be all over the place before I could blink that I had tried to start my own religion, even if that was not true.
Ok, finally got it to work. Maybe it's because I wrote it in word and tried to cut and paste it. For some reason it would not take the whole thing.
It was difficult to have this discussion, because though I am unwilling to live my life in a certain way for them, I still do not desire to hurt them in any way. I told her that when it came down to it, we won't know who is right and who is wrong until we get to our turn to be judged, or however one believes that all to work and that I thought it only right to not be judged by anyone before that time for a differing point of view.
She admitted to being a bit jealous of a large family in the hall I grew up in whose children & grandchildren all go to meetings together and how she would like that. I am sure she would, but we never were the poster family for spiritual unity. They accidentally taught us to think! OOps! But I pointed out to her that if one of them decided that they were not in agreement with the "truth", they would be discarded like yesterday's trash and there would go the big happy family facade.
She also tried to tell me that I never really "understood" the teachings, or took the time to study when I was younger. I told her I understand perfectly well what they are trying to say, but I judt don't agree with it.
I love my Mom, and do respect her right to choose, I just don't understand how a smart educated woman can buy it all! I did express my bewilderment that she didn't see what I see, but made it clear that I didn't judge her, and I don't expect to be judged. I pointed out that we never discuss religion anyways and she said that the fact we don't discuss it is one of the rationals she uses to justify continued contact.
(((caligirl)))!
I've had several confrontations like that with my mom. Luckily, I've never been a JW, so she isn't ordered to shun me. I think I actually had her thinking at one point, and then when she went to ask her elder some questions, he told her to stop talking about it with me! Total brain control. All you can do is give her the unconditional love that she will NEVER find in the Watchtower. I will say a prayer for you.
kj
My wife made some great points to her mom. Both of her parents are as active as one could be in the hall, and they really are great people. As much as some parents would have nothing to do with their kids if they left the religion, her parents have been much more relaxed. True, as she mentioned, it has just been something that was never talked about.
Here is the perfect example of a couple, in their early 20's, made a concious decision to become witnesses and raise their family as such. They are educated, and have said in past that there are some things that they don't understand or completely agree with. But now they have been involved for over 30 years, and they know nothing else at this point. Their entire lives are based around service and the meetings.
So sad, but at least they have not turned their back on their kids, all of whom are no longer active, nor will they ever be again.
((((caligirl))))
Hang in there. Folks as dedicated as yours have left after more years of service. Remember to remind them that you love them.
BTW: I like to quote a verse in proverbs when I talk to the Mormons:
PR 18:17 The first to present his case seems right, till another comes forward and questions him.
We always tend to believe the first credible-sounding information we get on any subject, especially when there might be credible-looking names/emails addresses/footnotes.
Perhaps if you told her that you'd certainly be willing to accept her beliefs if she could prove you wrong! Say it kindly, and perhaps she might be challenged to investigate in order to prove you wrong...
bebu
Hey Caligirl, It's Jan of Jan and Joanne south of Vermont! Jo told me that you had written her an email about a conversation with your mother about the insane practices of the JW's. They just drive me crazy and by the way that "light" is on a dimmer switch, never saw tenets and dogmas go back and forth so often!! It all depends on the circumstances how they twist things to fit their reasonings. Touch'e to you for confronting your Mom with the stuff that really fires your ass. If she is a good Mom she will feel the hurt that you are experiencing with your step son and take a step back and "look" at it! I have so been through it with my son who won't acknowledge my existence because he was hurt when I left the "truth" because I left him too! He was 19 years old and it's been 5 years! I have always made myself available to him. Iv'e always put my teeth out there for him to kick. Will he punish me forever for the changes I had to make? I know that he is pressured by the organization but he will never admit it. I wasn't invited to his wedding, why? because I hurt him by leaving 5 years ago or because I am disfellowshipped and I should not be invited to a social affair??!! They hide behind the BORG so they don't have to actually feel their feelings and work them out! As I said it just drives me crazy. Hope your step son comes around and shows the love and respect that he should by visiting you and his father!! Flower
