by anglise 19 Replies latest jw experiences
Have you ever tried to explain to someone who has no religious leaning how you once truly believed that you could live forever and that now you are no longer a JW that certainty is gone, and how hard that is to deal with at times?
The look of disbelief and pity that you get in return.
Maybe thats partly why we need to talk so often to other XJW's
Whats been your experiences.
Anglise
Angelise,
I know exactly what you mean. It's pretty funny when you think about it. I've tried so many times to tell my never-been-JW hubby about it. He has tried to wrap his brain around it, but the look on his face tells me he just can't to it.
Deb
My never-JW hubby understands it because I was still JW when I met him, and he has seen how brainwashed my family is over the years we've been together.
I find the most difficult part is making others understand that JWs are a cult; they don't believe me. They think I'm being too dramatic or that I'm overstating. That, I think, is the most difficult for folks to understand.
My husband is an Athiest but he has been very understanding about the whole thing. He understands the power of religion even though he has never been a part of one.
Honestly though, having grown up in the "Bible Belt", it was a rare thing to come across a person who had no religious leaning. Thing is, I'm sure that even as a JW and moreso now, I give that "look of disbelief and pity" to a lot of people.
Most religions in the world have a belief in a future life whether it is called "heaven, paradise, nirvana, etc." So, why would one have to feel embarrassed over a belief system that taught "everlasting life on a paradise earth?" I am not uncomfortable with doctrine as much as I am with the organization that taught it. In fact, I think the idea of a restored earth is great. But I no longer believe it is the hope that Christ taught to his followers.
However, I do have a friend (XJW) who has moved into a new area and wants no one to know his previous association with the Watchtower Society and Jehovah's Witnesses. He said he's ashamed to admit he once was part of the organization. For me though, It presents an oppotunity to tell people why I left the organization.
My experience is that only ex-JWs truly understand what it was like to be JW. That's why places like this are so great!
My husband is also an athiest. When we first met, I tried to explain some of the beliefs to him, because I wasn't sure if I was going to try to be reinstated or not. I would get into religious debates (friendly) with my non-JW friends, and I would argue from a mainly JW stand. I think the word that can be used to describe their reaction is: incredulous. My husband actually held his tongue, surprisingly, as he is very outspoken. My views have completely changed now (I'm agnostic), and now we both say that we don't understand how I could have ever believed any of it.
It's embarassing to me because I feel like I believed it past the age when it really should have been acceptable. Sometimes I lie and say that I got out a little earlier than I did.
But I want people to understand that ANYONE who was raised in the same situation that I (we) were would have believed it too. That's what I want people to know, that we all are just a creation of our circumstances. I don't want to be embarassed of my past because it wasn't my fault. I don't believe it any more, and that's what's important.
All I know is that I was very lucky to find this board. It's important to talk to people who already understand without any extra explanations.
I realize that in writing the words "It wasn't my fault", I actually had a twinge of doubt. Yeah, I need therapy...
Alot of my new frends think it is really funny that I was a witness and say things like "but you are so normal!" It is difficult for them to understand what I have been through but they have been very simpathtic and supportive. But as someone else has just said, the only people who understand is ex witnesses and it is so nice to talk to these ones as they know and understand what you have been through. Sidney
If a person is truley interested, we will sit down and discuss the matter over a wine. Other than that, NO! Don't waste my time and I won't waste yours.
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