Expectoration

expatbrit

Why must people spit? Public spitting has become a modern plague. Call me old-fashioned, but I am offended by the rasping of throat membranes. I am frequently discomposed by this sound coming from behind me when walking on the street. And I am particularly offended by the moist expellation that follows.

It is young males who seem to be especially prone to this ill-mannered behaviour. Although having said that, perhaps I am missing something essential here. Perhaps a piece of my personal humanitarian jigsaw puzzle has inexplicably slipped between the cushions of my genetic sofa. So, anyone who enjoys public spitting, perhaps as a hobby or in the hopes one day of competing in this discipline at the Olympics, please enlighten me.

Is it, for instance, that spitting is an essential part of the human mating ritual? Do these young males feel that the female sex is attracted by the forced expelling of glistening lumps of phlegm? Perhaps the colour indicates the males? virility to the females? curious inquiry. Perhaps the propelled distance is an essential way for young women to distinguish the winners from the losers in the modern jungle. Maybe the males can tell whose territory they are in by an examination of the pavement. Sputumgraph. Useful stuff.

Or maybe I have failed to move into the modern age of peace, love and all-round oneness. Perhaps public spitting is a Lennonesque manifestation of unity, prompted by a desire to share the most private matters with all the wonderful brothers and sisters of the human family. Perhaps it is engendered by our common origins in the desert regions of the Earth, when surely the sharing of water denoted the highest expression of love, and moisture was a blessing of the Gods.

When I lived in England, I entertained the romantic notion that maybe spitting was only a local phenomenon due to the tragic misunderstanding of a famous phrase in British history that ?England expectorates every man will do his duty.? Alas, upon moving to Canada and traveling in the United States that notion was rudely hawked to the curb. Nor is it a particular cultural or ethnic group that monopolises the mucus. Spitting is enjoyed by young males of all races and cultures, it seems. Surely this secretory brotherhood couldn?t have been the dream that King had in mind?

Please do tell me what I am missing here, because I would hate to be inadvertently showing disdain for humanity by remaining self-contained. Nor do I wish to accidentally emasculate myself with silent and internalized secretion.

Yes, I beg to be corrected, else I begin to believe the foolish notion that public spitting is merely the ill-mannered behaviour of young thugs who have no respect for their fellows and betters.

Expatbrit

stillajwexelder

Well I sort of agree -- but the CO who appointed me an elder was the worst culprit --and I kid you not!! So I thought it must be OK this CO did it on the ministry as well

rocketman

I also worked in service once with a CO who had no qualms about giving it up sinusly-speaking on the sidewalk.

Scully

Thank you for bringing this rude and disgusting plague to our attention, Expatbrit.

Love, Scully (who can handle seeing blood, emesis and other bodily secretions, but draws the line at mucus)

Stacy Smith

It is young males who seem to be especially prone to this ill-mannered behaviour

Exactly and it's rude stupid and disgusting. Some of the young guys I ride bikes with are constantly spitting. I used to just look away but lately I've been busting their butts over it.

On campus you couldn't think about walking around barefoot or you're asking for wet feet. These are our future leaders?

hillary_step

Expat,

In China, spitting has recently been outlawed as it has been a traditionally huge problem and its effects impacted enormously in the spread of disease.

I read a travelogue of a person who took a train in Northern China during Winter. The trains are unheated and below freezing and the men and women would spit in the centre aisle. As you can imagine after a few minutes the phlegm would freeze creating an icy slide polished by the numerous people who walked the aisles.

Glacial expectorant - HS

LittleToe

I understand that it is still illegal in England, and punishable by imprisonment.
North of the border, we never needed such a law. Much more civilized

hillary_step

LT,

I understand that it is still illegal in England, and punishable by imprisonment. North of the border, we never needed such a law. Much more civilized

How could this possibly be so when one of your most famous authors is named Sir Walter Snot?

HS

teenyuck

Having watched the baseball playoffs (GO CUBS) the last few evenings, all I can ask is:

Why do baseball players insist on spitting every time they walk up to the plate? Every time they walk up to the pitching mound? Every time they just stand around? They don't adjust their jocks as often.....

Why do they spit so much?

Though on the male vs. female thing:

My mother always was clearing her throat and spitting.....into a Kleenex, into the sink, etc. Really gross. My sister, with allergies, started doing it young. She would make a weird noise, clear her throat loudly and spit.....into whatever is handy. Really, really gross......

SanFranciscoJim

According to the website for The David Letterman Show's September 23rd program:

"We had so much fun with this a few weeks ago that Dave decided he wanted to take another look at it today. It's the George W. Bush Clip of the Night. It?s a shot of the President walking along the White House lawn, we believe. As he is walking, he gives a quick look behind and then to the side. He then spits like a baseball player with a mouthful of chaw. Smile, Mr. President, you're on Candid Camera."

I saw the clip, captured, I believe, from CNN.

With such a presidential example to guide us, how could we not want to emulate this man?

Expectoration

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