A serious sex thread (seriously) (page 2)

franklin J

Bradley,

the fact is that sex between two people is another form of expression. Whether short term or long term, if you are trying to have a baby or just to have fun---it is the ultimate form of physical expression. You should never feel guilty about it. You will know when you are ready and when it is right. HOWEVER--you should know all the consequences before you proceed.

If you are going to experiment, please be careful. AIDS is a serious consequence these days and I presume the secular colleges are promoting abstinence , not for any moral reason, but to avoid the result of AIDS.

I am delighted to hear that you are pursuing higher education, it is good. When I grew up in the JWs, it was highly discouraged. I completed college any way and am no longer in that religion.

keep you mind open and keep askiing questions.

frank

IronGland

There's a happy medium between a puritannical and a pornographic outlook

Yes. Dirty sex with puritans.

maxwell

I don't really have anything constructive to add in answering the question. But I too have wondered why the vast majority of our society insists on complicating sex with social rules and excessive emotion. There's certainly nothing wrong with making sex subject to several artificial conditions. And I can see the value of stable family units for children. But the prevailing views on sex are just not something I share with most of my fellow world neighbors.

Mac

Phantom...are those books available in the waterproof hot tub friendly formats?

mac

Mindchild

Human sexuality is one of my interests and I can recommend several books on the topic but one of my favorite ones was by Joann Rodgers, "SEX A Natural History" (2001) ISBN 0-7167-3744-2 This large nonfiction book provides a lot of insights not only into the biological mechanics of sexual attraction, but the social as well. Sex is a complex interplay between our genes and our culture. You can get a lot of insights from this book such as that the frequency of sex for animals and humans is not universal or stable, even in the same animal over time. The huge variability may suggest that the frequency of mating isn't driven by orgasm's pleasure at all, but by the need to reduce a partner's availability to other potential partners. In other words, if you keep your partner very busy in bed, there is less time for him or her to seek out others. You will also learn such things as why women prefer men with certain types of apperances during different times in their fertility cycle. The book is a long but delightful read.

Kind Regards,

Skipper

Happythoughts

Perhaps it is our parents who have taught us this. Of course I don't veiw it as being bad and something to be ashamed of, I tell my child it is natural and wonderful. BUT I have often times asked myself the same questions you are asking here and the only conclusion I came to was that my parents taught me it was wrong.

talesin

Well, ya see, there's this whole emotional component to it....we aren't like cats or something. Wasn't it Marx who considered sexual desire as being something as simple as being thirsty for a drink of water? And in his communist utopia, just as easy to quench?

dan, this makes sense to me

Sex is too entwined with emotions, imo. It's easy to have an orgasm, but wow, to let yourself be totally open to another person, that's difficult!!

I think that's why it gets so complicated. Like it or not, our gonads (there's a word for ya!) are connected to our feelings. Personally, I don't like it, a commitment-phobe meself!

But therein lies the dilemna (sp?). How do we 'get some' without being emotionally connected?

And why do we feel 'dirty' about it - well, maybe cause we're NOT like the other animals - did you know that Orca (white whale) mates for life? They are close to humans in emotion. So we are not the only species on the planet who desires partnership.

I wish I could figure it out - maybe I'd be a lot happier.

tal

(who is more like a 'guy' in my thoughts re sex, or so I'm told)

SanFranciscoJim

Why did "free love" in the 60's die out? Fear of disease? Condoms don't guarantee protection, and AIDS is pretty damned scary.

drwtsn, I've been around since the age of free love. It was a wild, free-for-all party.

Suddenly, AIDS reared its ugly head and the party was over.

Today, with more knowledge of AIDS prevention and treatment, the party has resumed, but someone stands at the door and hands you the rules before you're allowed to enter the building.

bebu

What I've read jives with what I've noticed in real life: guys compartmentalize sex much more easily than women do. And I honestly believe women are more sensitive about having extra-marital sex than are men (in general!). It's interesting to me to hear the male viewpoint in a chorus here.

I worked with teenage girls at a shelter for a while. There were a lot of them who are looking for love, but ended up only with sex. Oddly, they don't recognize the mistake they are making, but keep imagining that the next boyfriend would finally give them what they were really searching for. A lot of depression, drug use, and getting pregnant ("I'll make him love me if we have a baby together"). You've heard it all before, but it's rough to see 13-year olds making the mistake as a person, not a statistic.

We usually can't just "flip a switch" to change our nature if we are sensitive like this, either, I'm afraid...

bebu

Surreptitious

I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for
over a year, and so we decided to get married. My
parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged
me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream!

There was only one thing bothering me, and quite a bit
too, and that was my mother-in-law to be.
She was a career woman, smart, but most of all beautiful
and sexy, who sometimes flirted with me, which made me
feel uncomfortable.

One day she called me and asked me to come over to
check the wedding invitations. So I went. She was
alone, and when I arrived, she whispered to me,
that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings
and before I got married and committed my life to her daughter, she
wanted to make love to me just once..

What could I say? I was in total shock, and
couldn't say a word.

So, she said, I'll go to the bedroom, and if
you are up for it, just come and get me. I just watched
her delicious behind as she went up the stairs.

I stood there for a moment, and then turned around
and went to the front door... I opened it, and
stepped out of the house. Her husband was standing outside, and with
tears in his eyes, hugged me and said, we are very happy and pleased,
you have passed our little test. We couldn't have asked for a better
man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.

Moral of the story?

"Always keep your condoms in the car."

A serious sex thread (seriously)

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