After watching so many of the flame wars/battles going on on this board, I’ve reached a conclusion about what may be the biggest issue that faces ex-witnesses: learning how to deal with conflict is a new experience. In the world of the borg, there is no conflict. You conform to the group, or you are not part of the group. NOTHING is open to free, honest and open discussion. You think what the last Watchtower told you to think and that’s it. The discussion skills that most people learn, how to present an argument, taking constructive criticism of your views, etc. are not skills one learns at the kingdom hall.
It takes time to go through the process of learning how the rest of the world functions in this regard. As an example my job is very high stress at the moment. We’ve downsized and I’m trying to run a department short-handed with people who are wondering who’s going to get voted off the island next. It is not uncommon to hear somebody snap at a co-worker, then go back a minute later and say ‘sorry didn’t mean that.’ And most of the time that’s the end of it. The contrast that I see here is that some can’t seem to let go of the problem.
All of us are at different stages of this journey. I’m not pointing fingers at anybody but I see a couple of trends here. Some people seem to find it difficult to break away from the “group think” mode (and chastise anybody that doesn’t fit their views). Others seem to take delight in saying whatever comes to mind just because they can, and without regard to how somebody else may feel about (and chastise anybody that asks them to tone it down). And Simon, God love him, gets to try to keep the animals from taking over the zoo.
Just a suggestion, when the flames erupt, try being the first one to just walk away. You may even find yourself feeling better than if you’d kept arguing.