Yep.... we were basically expected to aux pioneer during one or two summer months after baptism.
But to make it work to my own deliciously evil advantage, I'd sign up for the same months as this girl that I liked.
Did You Feel Pressured To Auxiliary or Regular Pioneer?
by minimus 36 Replies latest jw friends
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minimus
Was that girl, Tinkerbell?
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drwtsn32
Was that girl, Tinkerbell?
Nope...Tink's my sister!! What are you, mad?!
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minimus
oops
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blondie
My father was not a JW. He wanted to go out of town on the weekends and we had to go with him. That did not leave much time for pioneering when I was a teenager. No elders or others pressured me to pioneer. But when my dad left, I wanted to be more accepted so I regular pioneered for awhile, hoping I would be seen as more spiritual. It didn't work and my finances dwindled so I went back to working full-time.
I can remember pioneering being pushed in the period before 1975. More men pioneered in those days; young men partly to avoid being drafted during the Vietnam War. But since then, in my area, it has gone down year after year.
Now only those who are retired, disabled, and sisters whose husbands are MS and want to be elders, regular pioneer.
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dannyboy
Oh yes, pressure that varied with the season you might say.
Like many (but not all of you) I never thought of it as "pressure", more like I thought of it as yet another indication of how crummy a witness I was, that I couldn't Aux Pioneer more than once a year. I managed to push down any thoughts to the contrary, thinking "The Organization Knows Best", and if they're always harping on us to do more, must have God's blessing, etc. etc.
More than one CO would make the point in private that Aux or Regular pioneering was a matter of faith, not circumstances. Now THAT comment used to make my blood boil, and seemed at odds with what I was reading in the literature. So many times, though the Society would have the CO's and DO's put out a "harder line" in private or at elder's meetings than what was published, which I view now as something like what Watergate-figure John Dean might call "Plausible Deniability"........
So I struggled along for years, doin' it once a year, and feeling euphoric for a while, thinking I'd really pleased God....then someone would suggest that maybe if I tried harder, I could do it more each year, and the 'ol guilt stuff would kick in.
---Dan
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minimus
That euphoric feeling was what I like to refer to as a "spiritual high". I've seen many publishers pioneer for a day, week or month and look like they're on cloud 9, until of course, they "come down" to reality and get discouraged and depressed again. Then the elders would point out that they seemed most joyful when they were pioneering. So they were "encouraged" to "do more" and "get busy" in the work of the Lord. The result??? Pioneers that were usually fighting depression and unhappiness!
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Flowerpetal
I was raised in the "truth" but worked for a while before I regular pioneered. I didn't do it till I was 19 and only for a year. I wanted to see what it was like, plus my mom's friend knew of a young sister (she was about 4 yrs older than me) who wanted a change from the city she lived in, and wanted to pioneer. So I thought this was the perfect opportunity. She even lived with my family and I. Well, as time went on, it turned out that we had different interests. Eventually I wanted to get married; she wanted to stay single and either continue to pioneer or travel (one of her goals was to see the entire world before she was 25). I don't quite think she did it by 25, but when I met her she had been to a lot of countries. Anyway, for that reason, and others I won't go into at this time, we stopped being partners and she went back to her town, and I got off the reg. pioneer list.
During my high school years I would auxilliary pioneer with a couple of friends during summer school vacation. Back then even aux. pioneers had to get in 100 hrs. and place 100 mags. That was hard to place the mags. and it was a struggle to get the 100 hours in too esp. when you're a teen.
Anyway, every once in a while after that, I would aux. pioneer. In fact, I was aux. pioneering the year a convention came to my city for the very first time, and they needed volunteers to work at "convention headquarters" which was a large KH built by wealthy JWs. This was waaaaayyyyy before quick-builds. I met my husband there.
The last time I aux. pioneered was maybe 8 or 10 yrs ago. I worked with the reg. pioneers in my cong. and there were quite a few of them. One was pretty organized as far as territory was concerned, but the rest, especially this one sister, was sooo disorganized. All her literature was in the trunk of her car and she never looked at what she needed for the day until we were all ready to leave the KH for service. And they all had to congregate around her car to shoot the breeze for 10 minutes, and I would get tired of waiting. So the "joy" I was supposed to have in the "preaching work" was taken from me by the pioneers.
Then a few years ago, the society started the Pioneers Assist Others Program. I was asked by the elders if I wanted to participate--which at the time I thought was redundant, because I was still working with the pioneers a few days during the week anyway. But it seemed nobody volunteered to work with them except one other sister. I told them I wasn't interested. I just felt I couldn't get any more involved with these pioneers than I was already or else I would scream. It's funny too that out of all those years, only one pioneer seems to be successful in getting someone interested enough to come to the meetings. And that started probably last year. But I'm not too sure if the lady will become a JW or not. Time will tell....
Sorry for this being so long, but Min asked.....
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Badger
*turning can opener, worms start pouring out*
Yes...this is also what began my first seeds of doubt. If a witness can ever adequately explain this or why this had to be, and why I still feel disgusted every time I think about it, I'll go right back to it.
I was asked by my father at 12 if I wanted to pioneer and go to Bethel. By "asked" I mean, "severly shouted down if I responded any other way."
There were about 10 other youths in the hall about my age (within 2-3 years). After eighth grade, all but three dropped out to do correspondence and pioneer. A few actually finished their schooling. I went through the motions in high school. Luckily, I opted to take a few of the college tests, much to chagrin of my father. BTW: ACT:32. SAT:1410. However, I never did much in school except the minimum. Had a C+ to B- average.
My parents also had made it plain from the outset that the only way I could continue to stay at their place or to get any kind of support from them would be if I pioneered. It bears mentioning that I wasn't able to learn how to drive or even get a SS card until I was 17, mostly because my parents just didn't have the time to help me on it. I had no work experience, middling grades and great test scores (Which I was told...by my parents, no less...wouldn't be enough to get me into a school, much less get a scholarship. They refused to help with any loans.)
What was I supposed to do? I had made a promise as a 12-year-old that everybody was taking seriously, while all of my friends were doing the same thing. I knew that I would be a better writer or teacher...that's something that I just knew I would love. But what did I know? I was just a punk-ass kid who didn't know any better than his parents or any other adults. I didn't have any work experience--or a work ethic, since much of my childhood was spent doing just enough chores to keep from being beaten--to help support myself. I'll start pioneering and reaching out...and go to Bethel.
A younger elder and former bethelite in the hall had started to get on my good side and encouraged me to reach out. That I did. After a summer of auxiliarrringing (whatever), I became a pioneer with the other 8 (two had dropped out of that, too).
I went thoguh that first year...with no success. I had no bible studies, placed little literature, and made almost no return visits. I just didn't have it at the door. I was being asked to go right up to a person whom I didn't know and ask them to change their most fundamental feelings on the nature of God, a topic that I had put too much serious thought into myself to be sure of anything well enough to do that.
I then temped at Bethel. I really felt like a number, even in that short period of time. I knew that it wasn't for me after two weeks. I missed a whole week's worth of meetings up there (homesick? no that's not it...Fully out of place in this beehive setting? Yeah, that's the winner.). When I got back, I applied. My dad was proud. The younger elder told me to wait.
Went to pioneer school...not bad. Met some really foxy sisters who let it be known that I just wasn't good enough for them. This would be a recurring theme.
I kept bouncing around from job to job for another year, floor cleaning, waiting tables, temp work, etc. and was getting nowhere with the pioneering. I was begged to keep at it. The Younger elder then let me know just how close I came to being a servant after a C.O.'s visit...If only I had turned in my time on time that month, then I wouldn't have been listed as irregular. Never mind that I had put 85 hours in that month...
Said elder also drove me over the edge one day in service in a large car group in front of me:
"Sister Manic and Brother Doublelife have several studies and are really productive. They have hours, return visits, magazines...Brother Badger just has hours...hours...hours..."
That was it. No matter what I had done, it wasn't good enough. I was giving it my all, beating myself silly over my lack of productivity and getting nothing in return. That feeling of being spiritually centered was just a feeling of complete inadequacy. I had heard snide remarks from the other pioneers and my dad about my lack of success, sure. But the very elder who got me into this was now making a solid case for my worthlessness in front of others and myself.
I then asked to cut the day short and went home at noon. I started looking for a fulltime job that day. Got one a week later in a nearby town. My parents were upset (It was in one of my longtime dream fields), but I told them I need to move out, and Bethel wasn't going to happen (they knew about the elder, too.)
At some other time, I'll post the "Any Given Sunday" speech I rolled off a year ago for another elder who asked why I don't reach out.
My dad also asked me the other day why I don't encourage my son (a 5-year-old) to pioneer instead of go to college. If he weren't driving, I'd likely have clocked him.
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iiz2cool
I gave in to the pressure and regular pioneered for just over 2 years. I also aux pioneered a few times. I eventually got bored with it. I just didn't enjoy going out to preach things that no one wanted to hear anyway.
Walter