Wife came home upset ...

The Fall Guy

... because she'd stepped into some newly laid concrete.
I said to her, "Don't be too hard on yourself."
punkofnice

Crazy paving. It's not all it's cracked up to be.
A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston by-pass. Motorists are asked to be on the look-out for 16 hardened criminals.
galaxie

Man walks into a bar....Ooooh ouch Aaaarghhh!!!! It was an iron bar.
UnshackleTheChains

A hole appeared in the driveway of a local kingdom hall. Apparently the elders were looking into it :-)
Tallon

Oh shit, now we're well and truly stuck
The Fall Guy

I found a box full of Kodak 35mm camera film and gave it to the police.
They said they'd let me know if there were any developments.
Turns out they had negative results.
VW.org

Two vomits are walking down the road. They stopped out in front of a pub. One vomit looks down into the gutter and says to the other vomit I was brought up here.
Hanged Man

It's like the mandela effect has hit me full force....I've stepped back into the world of corny 80's (being generous) jokes.
The smell of benson and hedges and hai karate is strong on this thread.
sir82

Never take rock for granite.
Hanged Man

Never date a tennis player....to them love means nothing