OK I'M MAD

Dan76

My sister is a Bethelite. I got into a discussion with my mother over e-mail about how I thought she generally was at Bethel not for the spirituality of it, but because of the PRESTIGE. It got me to thinking.

WHY do people REALLY decide to become bethelites? For the life of me I can't think of the standard pitch they give young people to get them interested in becoming a bethelite. Of course, she married into bethel, and I am sure that played no minor role in her attraction to this man TWICE HER AGE.

Then she comes back with, " We are God's servants. Humility, not prestige, is the key to success in the

theocratic arrangement. Your sister cleans public toilets [at bethel] and removes gum

from carpets and stairways, among other things."

Oh, come on. She's playing a MARTYR and LOVES to throw that down people's throats.

I replied, if they were really public toilets, I would be able to use one. That pretty much ended the conversation. I actually half feel bad about it. I want to say more back to her, but I am one of the luckier DF'ed people whose parents actually keep up contact. I don't want to end that, and all I ended up saying was a pretty cheap shot at symantics.

SixofNine

Tell her "yes mom, but we apostates have to eat shit just to keep a level of surface communication with our families. Mommy dearest, you haven't tasted humble pie till you've tasted humble pie made from shit!"

Guest 77

Dan keep your 'luck' in place. If you maintain your cool you will be heaping '...fiery coals upon their head.' I too am lucky in that I speak to my mom, daughter and others in the cong.

Guest 77

worldlygirl

It's all about prestige. Not just at Bethel, but within the local congregations and all the way up the spiritual food chain. I see the typical JW as someone who can't make much of themselves in the "world" but feels super-important at the Kingdom Hall. How about the simple haughtiness of feeling you are in a miniscule group that will be spared by God while billions of others die at Armageddon.

Dan76

Also, I am new to this board, so if this is in the wrong section, my apologies.

It just makes me SO MAD that my sister, whom I grew up with, had got this chip on her shoulder for me just because I stopped worship. That must be the ONLY basis of a good relationship, eh sis?

We live on different sides of the coast now. Her husband actually grew up just south of me. The other day I found out my sister was actually HERE for 10 DAYS. Found out 2 days after she left. THANKS FOR NOT CALLING TO SAY SO MUCH AS "HELLO!"

I have no doubt that she swung by my place to check out the kind of place I live in. My mother had done that before.

The last time we spoke AT ALL was over 3 years ago, while I was briefly living back home in Queens. In the Emergency Room. While my father was unconcious after a car accident. She had the nerve to spend her once in every several years talk with me TELLING ME I WAS SELFISH and CAUSED MISERY because of my disfellowshipping. GRRRR! She's probably lucky my mother stopped me before I started tossing it right back at her. THAT was the right time and place? What an IDIOT!

Dan76

I think I am going to keep this thread up JUST FOR MY SISTER. I'll have to come back to it though, I'm so pissed I have to walk away. Besides I could be here typing all day.

Guest 77

Dan, worldlygirl hit it right on the head. Direct your energies to a positive cause.

Guest 77

Dan76

J6OCR9, I can't do that right now. I've been biting my tongue the last 10 years. If that were the way to go I would be a very well-adjusted member of society right now. I think venting is probably a good thing for me right now.

Gopher

Just be glad you have any sort of relationship with your JW mother. That's rare on this board.

As for your sister, you can't change her. Your anger can only raise your own blood pressure, but it won't change your sister.

Of course, we're here to listen. But after awhile you'll see it's no good to spin your wheels on your non-existent relationship with a sister who's so proud of her Bethel job. Maybe something will happen to her in "the truth" that will make her realize it isn't all it's cracked up to be.

In the meanwhile, you'll probably just have to "let go" of her.

Dan76

I really can't let things slide. Perhaps that makes me weak. I think I would be better off to mouth off to my mother (who will most likely never stop speaking to me) just to keep her from cross-referencing me to my sister. It's really a hellish relationship when ultimately she just can't let go that I am not a JW anymore, sending me Watchtowers in the mail with post-it notes to points she wants me to read about. How insulting is it when all your mother wants to do is point out all your "imperfections" and think it is out of LOVE?

I have been close before to telling her that I don't want to speak to HER anymore. How's that for a twist? By doing so she is a threat to my SANITY. I don't want those magazines anymore, I want to stop being judged and constantly reminded I am going to DIE at armageddon, and I would just as soon not hear about the rest of the family through her when all it does is make me sad I am missing out at the weddings and of friendships I had.

Of course, I can't mouth off to her. But surely there must be a better way to have a relationship than one that revolves around her trying to MANIPULATE ME.

OK I'M MAD

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