I need some suggestions about ...

codeblue

How to handle this situation: As of June I have stopped going to the meetings. I do have one sister that tells me I should keep on my schedule of meetings....She currently thinks I am not going to the meetings because I am new here and my husband works out of town a lot and I already remarked that I didn't want to go without him. I have also told her I have been going thru a depression, with this move, major move #13 and being new here.

Well, today, she dropped of 2 Watchtowers for this Sunday. (She is also a newly baptized sister as well)....I tried to evade that topic because what I really wanted to say is: "I have had some really negative experiences at this KH (I have for real)"....but at the same time I want to just FADE......I don't want any committee meetings....or action from any elders...at this time I can't risk my new decision to be realized because of certain family members that I know will avoid me and I can't take any more pressure or any more added STRESS in my life.

So, what can I say that will get the "heat" off of me...any ideas would greatly be appreciated.

Codeblue

little witch

Irritable Bowel Syndrome?

Or, tell her you are suffering from deppression?

I am thinking along the lines of a medical excuse, it would seem to thwart off too many questions being asked.

And everyone knows, if you are sick, a witness is nowhere in sight! lol

Hope all goes well for you Codeblue.

Hamas

Hi Codeblue

I like the one concerning your back. Just say that if you sit down for more than ten minutes at a time, your back seizes up, and creates all kinds of problems.

Theres a whole host of different excuses... family, depression, that kind of thing.

I hope you chose wisely.

www.escapethewatchtower.com

Dan76

A lot of women suffer from a pinched nerve in thier syotic nerve center, very painful to sit down, and common enough. It can be severe enough to warrant laying on your side or standing (only two options) while icing it. This would rule out driving... Basicly a it is the literal version of having a PAIN IN YOUR ASS. Heh.

Tashawaa

Codeblue,

You're fortunate that you're new to this area and congregation, even if you were more regular at meeting attendance before June. They don't know you well, or your history, and given enough time they'll just chalk you up to being "weak". This one zealous sister will cool-her-heals... she's new and wants to encourage you. To fade you can't say out loud what your head is screaming at the time "LEAVE ME ALONE I WANT OUT!!!!"

Your family will also most like draw conclusions that you've weakened since the move - think to others in past congregations,(when you were active) that moved in and you rarely saw.... or friends that moved away and you heard via "the grapevine" that they weren't doing so well in the troof anymore.

Now you know why

Stacy Smith

The sore back is a good one. There are many physical and mental health reasons to choose from. Regardless of your excuse they'll judge you anyway. Good luck with the fade.

Then again if you'd like a little gossip started around the hall just for fun the next time Sister Anal shows up take her hand in yours and tell her that it's difficult for you to sit in the same kingdom hall as she is since you're so attracted to her. Watch that hand snap back in a heartbeat

New ones won't give up until you tell them to stay away. The veterns will recognize the signs of a fade and back off but not those new ones. They're like pit bulls after a steak.

oldcrowwoman

(((Codeblue)))

It's hard setting limits in taking care of ourselves. For most of us we were'nt taught about boundaries and what is our comfort level. I had to set the boundaries for my family that I was not going discuss jw's. Stated what "I Feel" stressed and not a place to discuss right now. The key for me is being direct what I want or need. And sometimes it had to reinforced many times.

When we make changes in our lives it effects those around us. And upsets the the family dynamics and those who we are close around us. Even when its not on a conscious level.

You don't owe them a answer right now.

Take care~~~~~~~~

Old Crow

Phantom Stranger

IMHO, you have to decide if you want to continue the fade-out, or take a stand and get tossed out the front door. No good or bad in those, but it would serve you to be clear.

If you want to do the fade, you had best avoid the principled drawing of boundaries, and learn when to not answer the door. You know, act like a JW on Halloween :) Your evasions and avoidance may serve until this newbie JW finds another cause.

If you want to take a stand, you want to be prepared for the fallout.

Just my 2 cents.

Swan

Welcome Codeblue!

Sassy

I understand how you feel Codeblue. I have been going through the same thing. At first I thought I just wouldn't tell family and friends and when they conversed with me about talks or articles in the magazines. etc, I either nodded in all the right places, or changed the subject if I could. My mom started mailing me the magazines because I think she figured out I was missing meetings. It was starting to weigh on me though and so just this week I wrote an email with an explanation what I was doing and why. I tried to be as tactful and loving as I could. I know it still hurt any way. For me I had to come out in the open and tell them. However, I have a bf too now and I knew the day would come that he might answer the phone or something, so I better let them know ahead of time rather than get busted. You have a different situation. You are married and so you could fade w/o too much drama. If I could have done that, that is what I would have done. It's just easier. Then later they feel bad that you are inactive but they get used to it some. I've seen that with other family members that stopped going 10 15 or 20 yrs ago.

I need some suggestions about ...

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