African American Family Press has printed "Rappin' With Jesus---The Good News According to the Four Brothers". Let me point out some excerpts from this "Bible".....From the Word According to John," One Pharisee brother named Nicodemus came to Jesus one night. "Look, Teach," he said to Jesus. "You gotta be the man 'cuz nobody could do these things unless he was on the one with the Almighty." "For sure. Unless a brother is born again he can't even get in the Almighty's front door." "What's with this born again? How can I go back inside my momma? Are you saying this can be done?"........Jesus ran into a Samaritan sister getting water for her group."Sister, girl. Let me have some water, please. (Jesus had sent His boys into town for food).....".I want some of that", the sister said. "No problem. Go get your ol' man and come back." "Got no one to call my ol' man," she answered. "That's cool sister, 'cuz in truth you've had, count 'em, five ol' men and the brother you're with now ain't your husband." "You gotta be an all right propket", she said........A sister was caught doing the wild thing with somebody who wasn't her ol' man and the people in town decided she had to pay. "Jesus", they yelled. "Whatya say? The sister was caught dead in the act. The law says we gotta stone her to death. "Anybody who ain't never done nothing wrong in his life, go ahead. Toss a stone at her."........So whaddya think? Wassup?
"Rappin' With Jesus" Is Better Than The New World Translation!
by minimus 15 Replies latest jw friends
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jgnat
I found an online Ebonics translator, Minimus (sadly, the Shizzolator is dead). This is how it Ebonified one of your posts:
Ah love muh ma fXXXXn mudda dearly. She iz uh very pimp-tight person in her late 70 's. She'scaring an' uh "good Christian woman". But, one thin' about her dat drives me bizzawz iz da discussions dat we's gots about da Bible an' da "truth"......Let me give ya uh fairly typical conversation: Min---"How can ya say dat da faithful an' discreet slave gets it's411 from Jehovah an' yet dey always make mistakes?"......Mom: "Because Jehovah gives us da light an' da light gets brighter an' brighter".....Min----"If Jehovah iz REALLY giving da 411, why can't he give it ta dem right da first tyme?"----Mom: " Jehovah do give it right da first tyme but da Bible says all men iz imperfect"......Min: "So if all men iz imperfect, why trust da Faithful an' discreet slave"?......Mom "Because Jehovah put dem in they positions ta give us da chickn n` corn bread 'n cornbread at da proper time"....Min " But dey gots uh history o' making false predictions an' changing what dey say Jehovah had dem th'o't. How could Jehovah use persons dat turn out ta be false prophets?"....Mom " The brothers sometimes wuz uh bit overanxious, just like da apostles an' made mistakes but God still used dem...... sigh-------You can't even use LOGIC anymo', Min, since you've gotten on da internet"......... what 'chew thinking man?
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minimus
Jgnat----THAT WAS FUNNY!.......My momma gaves me the 411 on who dropkicked who this week, see?
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minimus
Here's a little more from the Bible----from Matthew-----"Look you might have to jump bail or get outta Dodge in a hurry 'cuz folks want to waste you.Just head to the next town.I'll be back before you can shake a stick."
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minimus
I guess you like the New World Translation better after all!
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bebu
This has an interesting "flavor". I think I might get tired of reading this after awhile, but perhaps the folks who talk this way all the time would connect with it the best.
I have always found the NWT wooden.
bebu
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bebu
PS:
http://www.rinkworks.com/dialect/
My dad sent me a silly email with a crazy southern accent once, and I replied with a letter I processed thru this site. I also sent the reply out to my southern bro-in-law. My sister tells me that he was really rather impressed with my "redneck".
bebu
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SanFranciscoJim
Perhaps the folks who are marketing the new "Ghettopoly" board game could include a free copy of "Rappin' With Jesus" as a purchase incentive.
By the way, did you hear that only 49 states participated in this year's Ebonics beauty pageant? None of the girls was willing to wear the sash that read "Idaho".
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GentlyFeral
OK, the thing is, my boss is a nuclear medicine physician who's also been a pathologist and a Radiation Safety Officer -- in short, serious credentials, you know? And an African-American woman. And a devout Christian
And when I read:
How can I go back inside my momma? Are you saying this can be done?
...I heard her voice. I mean, this is a legitimate question, isn't it?
Look closer at the Dialectizer's version of minimus's post: it's a completely different set of terms, what linguists call a different "register." It's a criminal argot, or an attempt at one. The African-American New Testament is more respectful, the informal language of the front porch on a Friday night.
I mean, somebody come up on my front porch and tell me I gotta be born again, and I'd never heard of it before, that's the question I'd be asking.
GentlyFeral
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minimus
ID A HO .......This Bible is cool. When I saw this "Bible", I just had to buy it. I knew it was the shiznet.