Here it is 11 PM and I just returned from Safeway where I went for a few quick items at 10. Safeway is only a few blocks from my house. As I was looking at the meat counter for some good bargains, being the cheap dude I am, as well as broke, a not unattractive blonde lady walks up to me and starts in complaining about the cost of granola, saying there is no way in hell she will pay $3 for a granola bar.
Now, I have heard of women who go to stores late at night to get picked up by guys and quite honestly, always thought it was BS. Tonight, that was the first thought to enter my mind. However, her demeanor and attitude, not to mention her reeking of booze, let me know that she was just drunk. Maybe she was looking for a night of quickies too, don?t know. Anyway, she was out of luck there as I am committed, as you know and besides, she was much to young for an old fart like me.
So, for about a half an hour, I listened as she blasted the US, Bush, Republicans, yadda, yadda, yadda. Trying to be a gentleman and not just move on, which would have probably resulted in her falling on her a** without my shopping cart to lean against, I tried to seem interested and be somewhat agreeable, without violating my own conscience and knowing full well, arguing or discussing anything with a drunk is a lost cause anyway.
So, I got to hear how she is 24, no 25, no, 24 years old, was a law student for 6 years but got so disgusted she quit, can?t stand the Nazi?s running America, knows the best thing for the country would be Hillary Clinton getting into office, since she has straightened out all the schools in America and solved all their problems, but also knows Gephardt will straighten out all the messes created by Bush and most importantly, lower the price of the granola bar she wanted, I?m sure.
Since she also knows her choice of candidate probably won?t get elected, since the Republican owned and controlled Supreme Court will make sure Bush is reelected, she feels she should run for office herself. All the while, I?m standing there, trying to be decent and biting my tongue and thinking to myself, ?why me, God? I?ve been a good boy.?
Finally, she drug a couple stock clerks into the discussions, as I was slowly trying to move forward, hoping she wouldn?t notice I was gone when she turned around. Poor kid that was dumb as I was and started talking to her really got her going by disagreeing with most everything she said. The girl with him was the smart one; she smiled at us and left, returning to the stock room, probably laughing her a** off at us guys.
Finally, she blurted out, ?You?re all damned Republicans!? and walked away. I was so disappointed I looked at the 19-year-old guy and laughingly said, ?What?s funny is that I really am a Republican.? He too laughed and when I told him they better keep an eye on her and try not to let her hurt herself or hopefully, make sure she doesn?t get in a car and drive off, I finished shopping in about 2 minutes and checked out. The kid was checking at the register and we shared a good laugh about her, with another guy walking up wondering just what we found so amusing. As we were explaining a little to him, guess who walked up? That?s right, my little drunken Harriet (the name she said was hers). No, I didn?t give her mine.
Had I been the horny young guy I once was, I may have tried to take her home and take advantage of her, but now that I am older and mellower, not to mention she was younger than my youngest daughter as well as drunk on her a**, did the right thing and left her alone. Even if not committed to Witchy, I doubt I would want to try to have one as drunk as that spend the night, or even an hour or two, with me. How much fun is it to be trying to screw a limp rag that passed out in your bed and be puking her guts out at any minute? No thanks.
Man, the people that you can run into at the grocery store. It sure can be interesting.