Here is my story!
My Short Journey out and now reunited with friends!
In the beginning, my father was a pioneer in the province of Quebec and in South Western Ontario and I always asked why these places and he said it was because the need was great in these regions, I?m sure it still is! My mother was in Toronto pioneering and was sent here from Germany to spread the word and was on her way back when she met Dad the super pioneer. My Dad became a Dub when he was about eight years old as some doorknocker convinced my grandparents they would live forever! My Mom endured much pain going through WW2 and I believe needed something to cure the painful memories of what she had been through.
And so the family of Beans was formed and they had two Beans one boy and one girl. My first real JW memory was my first day in field service as my father was so proud to bring me out with him to spread the word, and we have a picture of this, as it was a major event to my parents. There I was in my little blue suit standing beside my father with big smiles. We were living in other JW`s houses until I was about five years old when we moved to the suburbs for some reasons I am still not sure about but can only speculate.
The first day at the new Kingdom Hall what a joyous day as it was the day I met my dear friend Quotes. While the whole congregation was filled with joy with its latest members I was at the stage right beside the piano where I distinctly remember our first conversation and soon after my other dear friend Big Dave in his blue polyester top. Why I remember these details I will never know but I have a great memory. As time went on we started our journey together in the truth wanting to please our strict fathers and regulated lives. My father was the PO and Quotes father was the Treasurer and Big Daves Dad was doing everything he could to become an elder but was always overlooked as his English was not as good as the others and so he was a ministerial servant and a damn good one too.
A few years later Big Daves family moved out of our territory and we only saw him at assemblies leaving the Three Amigos association few and far between. Growing up was tough as most Jw`s are teased as I was but adding on to that I was also called WHOP and SQUAREHEAD because of family backgrounds and getting into fights was a normal occurrence and ?Turning the Cheek? was unavoidable in my neighborhood as it was a lower income area and was a way of life. I can remember going to a few meetings with a few black eyes. After about five moves my parents bought their first house in 1977, hey just after 1975 I wonder why? This is when things got really regulated the family Bible Study in Monday, Tuesday meeting, Thursday Book study, Saturday and Sunday service plus the Sunday meeting you know the routine. The family Bible study was the worst, as my father would yell at me for not reading the scriptures properly and forever scared any interest in reading to this day. I would even tell my father that I wanted to pioneer as I knew that is what he wanted to hear and it made him happy.
So there I was driving by all the kids on the street in my meeting cloths while they played street hockey or football and off to service and meetings. I will never forget calling on a kid in my class and how embarrassed I was trying to stand behind my father so he wouldn?t notice me. As it was encouraged to play with witness children it was hard as there were not many near by, Quotes lived about a ten minute bike ride away so we made the trek back and forth and by bus in the winter and it pleased our folks and he had lots of good toys with all of his brothers and there was always a good fight between them ever so often.
It was the late 70`s or early 80`s when my sister was abused by an elder and I started thinking about things and how different they really were for a witness. The elder who did this was only stripped of his duties and still to this day goes to the hall and in service. If you read one of my first threads I put the whole story there. So every year as you all know you have to tell your teacher that you have to stand outside for the Anthem and every year I kept putting it off realizing the stupidity of it as well as being singled out. Once I reached High School I would only tell a few teachers after grade nine until I got closer to my departure. So in grade ten I smoked my first joint at a party, it was good and I was getting closer and closer to being wordly. As it turns out I didn?t feel out of place in the Witness world as all the youths I knew were doing something they were not allowed to do as I was. So my thoughts were how could everyone here call themselves Witnesses and have all these double standards? I guess if you repent it is OK kinda like confession wouldn?t you say!
So when I was 15 I went to Germany for the summer for six weeks to visit my family as we did about every three years, but this time it changed my life forever! See in Germany you can drink beer at this age and this is when I went to the pub for the first time with my Uncle. I will always remember being at the pub and I had five beers and I was singing on the way home and my Uncle was telling me to be quiet so my Aunt wouldn?t wake up. But in Germany we never went to any meetings, as my Dad never came and my Mom was really cool, it was like being a normal person. So the whole trip I was buying beer in the corner store drinking it on the street and going to parties every weekend WHAT A LIFE. So when I came back I really started thinking about things.
One thing as JW?s you are not to learn about evolution and you are told what they will teach you, well that wasn?t the casein my grade 11 Science class. My teacher gave us a great view of how we got here, he didn?t say this is how it happened but gave us the all the options and taught them all and left you to decide for yourself. This was a key to starting to think by myself and not with a Watchtower in my hand. Speaking of Watchtowers around the same time one year earlier Quotes and me had started preparing for the Watchtower every Friday together on our own. The funny thing was when we weren?t doing it or if we were goofing around our fathers would come into the room and give us heck for not doing it, Man we volunteered to do it on our own!
So my sixteenth birthday arrived and I knew that my father (Presiding Overseer) had told me that when I turned sixteen he could have no say in my religious decision. So the family was getting ready for the meeting and I was sitting at my desk and I told my Dad that I wasn?t feeling good, so every meeting for about two weeks I had an excuse until he realized something was up. So finally he asked why I wasn?t going to the meetings as he was leaving for one, and I said that I didn?t believe it anymore. This shocked him hard and as my mother told me he was constipated for two weeks, I thought that was hilarious! So then the calls started coming in from brothers and sisters asking if I wanted to have a bible study and man I was getting tired of saying I don?t believe it until finally no more calls I WAS FREE life began as a normal person, it was the most amazing feeling ever!
Now the hard part my two best friends (Quotes and Big Dave), I knew that having them as friends would not be encouraged by there families as I was now WORDLY so I realized that it could not be anymore so the friendship was slowly dissolved. As time went on I would occasionally here things about them from my sister and we did see each other once and a while. I recall on of the last times we saw each other as I believe I just drove down Quotes street and he was hanging out and we were talking and I got this eary feeling like ?wow we don?t have much in common anymore? I?m not a JW so what do we talk about? But from time to time my sister would tell me how he was doing and what was going on until about five years ago when she told me that he wasn?t going to the meetings anymore and was separating from his wife. So I decided that I had to call him, so I looked him up but wasn?t sure if it was him or not and got the answering machine, I then left a message. As I didn?t receive a call back I was certain that it was the wrong number. But as it turns out it was him and for some reason he was shy about contacting me.
So in October of 2001 I was fooling around on ICQ and looking for friends from Public school and thought about Quotes so I typed in his name BINGO a match. The next day I got an e-mail from him, I was floored; I couldn?t wait to call him. I knew in my heart that our friendship was still alive, well as it turns out it was. When we met for the first time we had so much to talk about, each other?s beliefs our families it was incredible. So here were the presiding overseers son and the secretary?s son both out, free together. Not only was Quotes out but my other friend Big Dave and the Three Amigos were back together again.
So it has been two years now and it was like we never missed a day in between the lapse.
Well that?s it!
