Your Favorite Plays on Words

LoveUniHateExams

We'll take two. Yes, two to Toulouse, sir! - I hope Toulouse wasn't too lousy.
sparky1

"When my girlfriend first saw me naked, she was astonished by my male anatomy. Yes, I told her, I do have a foot but I don't use it as a rule!"
Betheliesalot

A man convinced against his will, is of the same opinion, still.
Wasanelder Once

The salesman sold a belt to Toulouse Lautrec. When he put it on it was a bit small so he asked him, "Is that belt too tight Toulouse?"
compound complex

Thanks, everyone! Very clever!
You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be led.
OrphanCrow

Coco, did you hear about the two guys who walked into a bar?
Yeah...it was pretty funny. You would have thought that the second guy would have seen it.
jp1692
For your pleasure:
- Not Jest For Pun: A Surprising History Of Wordplay (NPR)
compound complex

He minces garlic but never words. (zeugma)
compound complex

Meandering through the hotel's mirrored foyer, Madeleine Miroir saw her beautiful self to the front door . . .
Phizzy

Queen Victoria asked her great Scottish friend, Mr Brown, a question the answer to which intrigued her :
" Tell me Mr Brown, is anything worn under the Kilt ? " to which Brown replied :
" No Your Majesty, it is all in perfect working order ! "