by franklin J 23 Replies latest jw friends
As a Jehovahs Witness, our lives were clearly "defined". for those of us who are no longer in the "Truth", what "drives" your life now?
For me, it is my kids ( 12, 9, 4--busy--busy--busy) ; my wife; my career; I live by my own personal value system ( tried, tested and working).
The absence of the superimposed restrictive grid of the JW lifestyle has allowed my life to blossom. My mind now looks at life from a different perspective...a very positive view.
Curious to hear from others....
I have my own personal value system as well, and I developed that before I left the JWs. I just left the org recently, so the only thing that is defined about my life is my career. The rest is in a state of rebuilding.
Walter
My family; my 3 year old son, and my daughter on the way; and my husband. They're absolutely the most important thing and the main focus of my life. :)
Franklin...
For me atm its work..I havent left that long ago so Im trying to rebuild what I actually believe which atm is really hard...
It's really hard coming to terms with the fact that all i once believed, was founded on twisted theorys and control.
I think that work tends to help as a distraction from the depression and issues caused by finding out what I once believed wasnt 'the truth'.
Thank you for the pm btw...your a really strong guy
I have my own value system as well. After being DF'd however I did miss the structure of religon in my life. I went to the Catholic church, but it was boring and I didn't understand what the man was talking about, starting read the Quran but that was even more confusing and violent, even dabbled with Santeria which is the worship of African saints. Out of all of them it was the most fascinating because of all the stories and its history (brought from Africa from slaves to the Caribean-West Indies).
But basically I just work, enjoy my weekends work around my house or car have a beer with the neighbors help out in the community when able and try to spend time with my wife. Oh yeah, and when able go to Philly and get some Jims Steaks in North East Philly!
Spend a lot of time on the net also since I just got high speed internet, can download porn all night!
Hi!
"The absence of the superimposed restrictive grid of the JW lifestyle has allowed my life to blossom. My mind now looks at life from a different perspective...a very positive view."
Yep Franklin, you nailed it. I think the key here can be summed up in one word:
Freedom!
Freedom to do what i want, when I want. I can celebrate holidays with friends and co-workers. I can volunteer to help feed the homeless at the shelter along with the good church-going folks from "Babylon the Great" Hell, I can even take my 47 year-old self to a night club and listen to rock music and watch the twenty-somethings dance!
But the main thing that my life is focused on now is getting my kids out of the org before their youth is wasted. That takes work because they are deeply ingrained. This board helps me tremendously in that regard. Thank you all!!
CyrusThePersian
I just got high speed internet, can download porn all night!
lmao @ u...thats gross...!!!
How confining and restrictive the "old way" was when I bought the lie inside and out. Then later living half in and half out for so long was full of guilt and confusion. When I finally made the decision to leave, a great weight was lifted off me. Still, there was such an empty hole in my heart, and I was still young enough to realize that I'd wasted much of my youth. I had trusted that the "truth" was the "truth", and lived in limbo and indecision for so long, that I found myself with so many free evenings and time on the weekend, that I had time to be more creative. Still, I tried not to be so hard on myself; I tried to remember the good things that the MS had taught me, and how going from door to door had helped me face my shyness and other personal weaknesses.
I suppose at first, besides reading everything I could get my hands on, I did water color paintings and gave them as gifts, and was paid for those that commissioned my work. This was something I had always wanted to get into. I also did sewing for friends. Both were a welcome release for me, though at the time, I was in a great depression and even though I kept physically busy, my mind would not be still. I never had all this time before, being a housewife and mother, a full time employee, and an active JW.
My life is much more defined now, because my path is clearer. The religious dogma is gone from my life with no residual "monkey on my back", and the clear air of freedom feels so good. I got onto a different career path because I simply changed my life. I left the abusive marriage about a year after leaving the JW belief system. I moved to another area. I re-kindled old friendships within family and acquaintances of many years dormant. My first husband died and I met someone new and life changed again. I find if I can do some good during the day, and if I can take time to appreciate the beautiful aspects of being a human being....simply "being", that all else seems to fall into place. I enjoy music and creative writing. Being employed full time keeps me busy, and I am content now to just relax. Now that I've learned how to do it; and now that I know it is NOT worthless idleness. In relaxation comes meditation and the road to spirituallity. It's a grand place to be. All the voices in my head are gone.
what defines your life now?
My job and finishing up school. I use to have this thing called a social life but I just don't have time for one anymore. I have lunch on Tues. with my dad and if possible I try and catch up with the rest of my family and friends on weekends that is if I have one free. I like my lifestyle though.
I wish I knew.
I personally haven't a goal or anything which defines my life. I'm still in the "too confused stage" in my life. I'd better hurry and figure it out though.....I'll be 50 next year!
Gumby
ps. Got my 40 homey,
Spend a lot of time on the net also since I just got high speed internet, can download porn all night!That defines your life?
