One woman's opinion

by happyout 10 Replies latest jw friends

  • happyout
    happyout

    When I first came to this site, I felt enveloped with warmth. I had finally found a group of people who could understand my continued resentment of the WTS, and didn?t think I should just ?move on?. Although there were some strong disagreements and personalities, for the most part people seemed to respect one another. I realize this is simply my perspective, but it was indeed MY feeling. I hate to name names, because I know I will leave someone out who I admire, but to list just a few have touched me: Lady Lee, Nilfun, Nickey, AlanF, Big Tex, Cruzanheart, Mulan, Brummie, Teenyuck, Zeena1998, Blondie, SheilaM, Frannie Bannanie, LDH, StinkyPantz, and TJ. ( Please forgive me if I have forgotten to use a specific name, as there are many that have brought a lot to me and to this board.)

    Then something seemed to change. Suddenly, there were more mean spirited remarks, and less compassion. And, possibly because of this, there seemed to be less tolerance on the part of those ?in charge? for any thread that seemed headed in a less than positive direction. To my possibly jaundiced eye, there seemed to be far less tolerance for certain posters than others. Some posters, be they ?favorites? or whatever, seemed to get away with a lot more than others who were just not ?in favor? at that time.

    My opinion is Teejay was one of those posters. I have never met him personally, but I have spoken to him many times. We do not always agree, but he always presents his arguments in a solid and concise fashion, one that I respect. He does not let go of issues because his opinion is unpopular, nor does he back off when he feel strongly about something. This is an admirable trait, and yet he was punished for it by being deleted. I do not recall him ever calling names, or using foul language, and yet, somehow he was given the ?ultimate? punishment by being deleted.

    Is he the only person who was ?unjustly? deleted? I sincerely doubt it. But he is the one whose deletion has affected my enjoyment of this board most (ok, well, him and StinkyPantz, but she asked to be deleted, which is a whole different can of worms).

    I don?t know what it?s like to be a moderator or owner of a DB. I am sure it is fraught with irritations, frustrations and outright anger. I am sure no one in one of these positions believes that they are showing bias, and could give many rational explanations for their actions. But to me, little old me, it appears that there has developed an ?off with their head? mentality, if someone disagrees, kick them out.

    I don?t pretend to know the ?whole? story, and I don?t mean this to sound as though I believe I could be a mod without error. I just need to express that I believe the board is a little less than it was before with the loss of TJ.

    For those of us still here, thanks for the many times you have been motivating, understanding, and shared my pain.

    Happyout

  • sens
    sens

    I miss teejay & hamas ...

    there were more mean spirited remarks, and less compassion.

    I never noticed this from TJ...but someone who left not long ago was constantly doing this ...and no I dont miss that person at all.

    I understand what your saying...but try being on the wrong side of someone who is constantly throwing the 'mean spirited remarks'....sometimes not everybody see's both sides of someones personality and no im not talking about TJ...this person has gone. And Since they have left it seems 2 have settled a bit.

    ((happyout))

  • nilfun
    nilfun

    ((Happyout))

    I don?t pretend to know the ?whole? story, and I don?t mean this to sound as though I believe I could be a mod without error. I just need to express that I believe the board is a little less than it was before with the loss of TJ.

    I don't know the story either, but I think it's okay to say that I miss seeing Teejay's posts here, too.

  • DJ
    DJ

    Hi Happyout,

    I didn't always agree with TJ either but I did respect him as well, and found him to be quite nice. This board has changed alot since I have been here and I must say that it seems to constantly suffer from convulsions of explosive behavior and then it calms only to explode again. I attribute this to the fact that the posters here are growing and evolving and dealing with a lot of pain and and a life that was a lie. It is a difficult transition and I suspect that even the mod's are dealing with their own past spiritual abuse. IMO, xjw's are not exactly well balanced..lol.. I wish TJ much happiness in his life. I'm saddened if he is hurt. I do miss his posts.

  • happyout
    happyout

    I?m pretty sure there are many who miss someone who has been deleted. My question is, does the deleted person have to appeal the decision after a ?cooling off? period, or will they automatically become active again after a certain time frame? If it has to be appealed, and the deleted person never appeals, are they gone from this board for good? I have seen those who were deleted come back, but I?m almost sure it was after many conversations with the mods or directly with Simon.

    Happyout

  • czarofmischief
    czarofmischief

    Generally being deleted is a temporary condition.

    Lots of folks say stuff that gets them blocked out until they apologize and come back.

    The stuff that they say that gets them bounced is usually pretty shocking. Check Fred Hall's posting out. Or jjizro, if you can stomach it.

    I'm not sure what happened to teejay. I liked him, although I disagreed with him...

    CZAR

  • teenyuck
    teenyuck

    A lovely post happyout. And your font color and size are outstanding!

    I wish I could write half as good as Teejay....

  • Xena
    Xena

    Very eloquent post

    I don?t pretend to know the ?whole? story, and I don?t mean this to sound as though I believe I could be a mod without error. I just need to express that I believe the board is a little less than it was before with the loss of TJ.

    and I couldn't agree more

    and I have no idea how to change the font back *sigh*

  • SixofNine
    SixofNine

    I have pictures of teejay in bed with Hitler. And yes, I know Hitler is dead.

  • rocketman
    rocketman

    I don't know any of the story. It seems that I come across info that so-and-so was deleted or left or whatever, and I normally have no idea why. I don't why Hamas is gone, or Teejay for that matter. I didn't even know Stinkypantz was deleted - last I read, she was just cutting down on the number of times she intended to post here. Berylblue left too - I think. And again, I have no real idea as to why. I guess it's all on a "need to know" basis. But, sometimes I can't help feeling like a jw in a Kingdom Hall at the end of the Service Meeting. You find someone is suddenly gone, df'd or da'd, and you generally have no idea why.

    I'm not saying that such things should be made public, I'm just relating the odd feeling I get sometimes.

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