I just don't understand why someone would do it...

by atpeacewithself 19 Replies latest jw friends

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  onacruse

  Hi Utopian! Good to see ya again

  In my case, I was DFd in 1980 for apostasy. The post-75 aftermath had forever changed my previously rose-colored perspective of the org. But, having been raised in "it," and having all my family and friends in "it," and having never developed any social skills to expand my boundaries beyond "it," I felt an emotional need to go back to "it." In the process, I forced myself to turn a blind eye to the things I knew were wrong, and leaned more and more heavily on "Jehovah will take care of it in His own due time."

  I'm firmly of the opinion (and most of the experiences I've read indicate) that "going back" is almost always because of emotional and family needs; a purely intellectual analysis would make the decision to leave a slam-dunk. I agree with the observations above that oftentimes the "emotional" part includes victim mentality and fear...the conditioning is incredibly effective.

  Craig
• 

  sf

  Covert Operative.

  sKally
• 

  stillajwexelder

  that is the power of cult mind control
• 

  DanTheMan

  Fear, pure and simple.

  The Watchtower portrays itself as the one and only source of truth in a world being misled by Satan, and over 6 million people have bought into their propaganda. Through the continual repetition of certain phrases and ideas in the publications, JW's are conditioned to blame themselves if they feel disgusted or burnt-out by the religion. "Where else can we go?" is something you'll often hear JW's say. They feel like, no matter what, there is nothing like "being in the truth", which means being in a smothering, maternal religion that treats them like infants.

  Some people are unable to function outside the Watchtower walls, just like prison inmates who can't function in civil society when they are released. As much as they hated prison life, they can't wait to get back.

  There is a lot of comfort (for a weak person) to be taken from submerging oneself in a righteous holy cause. If your friend expressed disgust but went back, then that is where they belong.
• 

  atpeacewithself

  I just want to thank everyone so much for their input.

  here is a (((((((hug))))))) for every one of you.

  Thank you all again, I appreciate you taking your time to reply.

  atpeacewithself
• 

  orangefatcat

  When I was in the org. I believe for the most part it was right, but as the years advanced I saw to much hypocricy and back biting, cliques, and class distinction among the rich and poor. I think when you are in the midst of some strong powerful org. you tend to either close your eyes to it or your heart starts changing as you see a massive org. treating people like they are unable to see things for themselves. I have seen this and it made me realize it was time after 38yr &ab undle of nerves and fearful as hell take my step of courage and leave, When you calculate the huge loss that many have suffered by the hands of the WTS and its representatives, and what I have seen and read hear myself I have lost my fear and I know that many are victorious over the WTS. Some have had terrible and frightful ordeals that wrench your heart. We left for survival. Many for years will never escape the brutal things that happened to them as they were to be shepherded and protected by the elders. They are to help and love you with all their hearts and yet many betrayed you by telling their wives of affairs in the Kingdom Hall. Did you feel refreshed the last time you spoke with an elder? I bet you didn't? Your courousity has let you come here and find out of the ongoing sufferings of many as well as those that are healing. And we all go through stages of healing. The great support in this board is beyond any words I can say. We are all friends and to the many who have healed theyed help new ones along the way. And no person is forced to say anything he or she does or doesn't want too. If I could change the pages of my life back, I would have run off long ago. But I only had fear and no courage. This board of friends were my greatest assest in becoming well again. Being who and what I want to be. Some have no choices when they are young ITS follow mom' and dad' rule or else we die at Armaggedon. What a lovely thought. Teaching a beautiful child that God will kill you at armeggadon if you don't listen to Jehovah and the WTS.

  Can one single organzation of many older men rule the minds of 6 million and turn them in the stone cold Christians who by the way proclaim love and peace for man kind with a paradise if you change and become like us. Robots and yesbots. Putting fear rather than love into the minds of our children.

  No wonder as I grew older I could never ever pathom a God of hate but only that as love as my grandmother taught to me when I was just an infant until the age of twelve. She was an Anglican and all she ever practiced was love to her God and her fellow man. After that I was forced into a faith that made no sense to me.. and with these thoughts I leave you.

  Love Orangefatcat.

  w
• 

  SanFranciscoJim

  Some poor dogs can't resist returning to their own vomit.
• 

  morty

  sns,

  You took the words right out of my mouth......fearful of dying period....not ever seeing their friends and family ever again.....Fearful of when armagondon does come they will have nothing.......It is all so sad that they cannot see past all this foolishness.....IMO

  morty
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  NotAJehober

  Your response has many of the elements one would expect from someone who yearns for "the good old days."

  Let's not allow the religious forbearing of our youth define how/who we communicate with now. All religons deserve respect; whether inane or not. Other's spent their youth having their minds molded by other religons are other things than public speaking and Book, Chapter, Verse.

  I look backward at the brainwashing of my youth and see how clearly I now see the brainwashing of others' youth (AND INDEED RIGHT NOW!) It does no good to condemn what others would redo or re-fnd the comfortable connections of yore. IT DOES GOOD to love your children wholeheartedly; to love yourself almost as much; and to let others see that love IN PERSON.

  Please trust yourself at least enough to let others look at your self trust and smile
• 

  iamfree

  atpeacewithoneself

  It?s certainly one of those occurrences that will disturb your peace if you haven?t found the answer to why some people what to go back, especially if the event(s) or reason(s) surrounding their leaving was disturbing.

  I have found it helpful to look at it this way. The reason for going back is dependant upon the individual and what really matters to them. For example, imagine someone who was an elder, well respected, conscientious and a family man. Bob?s children are all in their twenties, financially independent and JW?s.

  In time his marriage and view of the WBTS goes pear shaped. About the same time the divorce comes though he is disfellowshipped (reluctantly) for adultery. Bob marries the ?partner in crime? (Betty- a disillusioned JW) who is also disfellowshipped.

  Taking into consideration his history, the home congregation would not hinder his reinstatement (you?ll have to trust me on that), however as for his new partner, Betty?s home congregation would more than likely drag the proceedings out.

  They both have good friends who have also left the JW?s. The only problem that bothers them is to do with their respective families.

  In discussions with them Bob wants to go back so that his children would feel easier about talking to him and, Betty so that her dependant mother (JW) would not be reluctant to speak to her because of family pressure (JW?s).

  Apart from logic and good sense, the elder?s manual allows them to speak to close family members on things other than ?spiritual matters?. The elders should have informed all parties of this stipulation ? it doesn?t happen, rather they are only left to incorrectly apply the hard line of shunning. Even if Bob and Betty were to inform their families of the stipulation, they would not believe it until the Elders did so.

  Going back may seem to be a noble gesture, but whom are they pleasing when it?s a JW problem? Not themselves, that for sure!

  The solution is very simple and involves . . . (Sorry - not for your eyes).

  [Name have been changed to protect the guilty].