May I ask how old you are, and the basic reason for disfellowshipping? (no real details needed)
I'm currently 21, and I was disfellowshipped for doing something with my girlfriend that I considered wrong at the time, so I convinced myself that I needed to go to the elders about it. I'm glad I did, though, because getting disfellowshipped ended up being the catalyst I needed to finally face the doubts I had accumulated over the years and mentally escape from the religion before I spent decades of my life on it.