by goingthruthemotions 23 Replies latest jw experiences
On jw org, regarding the question about birthdays, it says
"Children of witness parents do not feel deprived"
This is a straight out lie. It might be true of some children but that does not make the statement true. Guilting your son will not make it true either.
Hello goingthruthemotions,
I went through what you are with my wife and daughter for 7 years. I am now in the beginings of a custody battle over our 11 year old daughter.
You might want to look at 8/15 2002 WatchTower. pp30-31. "Questions from readers"
It descibes how a husband is the head of the household and is the primary responsible one for deciding if the child learns the JW way or not.
I was never a JW. My wife used that to avoid giving me the recognized role of spiritual headship, therefore that article did not apply to our situation. I am sure the elders backed her up.
Good Luck.
Zeb
Just saw this post after i created mine about birthday. I had to argue with my father about birthdays. He quoted me the WT stance from the 80's. That was the last time my father had anything to do with the witnesses. Do you know how frustrating it is to argue with a man who doesn't even believe in the WT, but yet defends them.
Basically my story is my mother is a witness but refuses to attend my daughter's birthday party.
What kind of immature parenting is that? 'Don't do it because it will hurt my feelings.'
Your hurt feelings are kind of your own problem, Mom!
I just wanted to offer some support. I know this is tough on you and your son.
My wife is still a JW. I faded quietly and have not had to face anything like this, but if I had children I would do whatever it takes to give them a normal childhood.
Using the JW logic, you are the head of your household whether you've ceased to be a JW or not. Does not matter and your wife needs to submit to you and respect your decision.
You can quote her 1 Corinthians 7:12-16 regarding unbelievers. LOL
You need to point out to your wife that putting guilt trips onto a child is very detrimental to him. You have a right to equal say in deciding what is best when it comes to your child, she needs to show some respect for your choices. How would she like it if you tried to make him feel guilty for going to the meetings?
The self righteousness of the average JW blinds them to rationality.
Romans chapter 14 clearly states one can celebrate birthdays if one wants.
Romans 14 is contradictory. One part says not to judge, but another says not to stumble others. So those who are easily stumbled should not be judgemental, but on the other hand we should not stumble them. Wait... whaaaatttt????
I really wish you the best of luck. I am so glad you are taking a stand and allowing your son to experience a birthday party. Hopefully he will go to many more and even have his own.
I did the same with my kids. You will be responsible for all planning, gift buying and wrapping and transportation. It's worth it! The bond you have with your son will grow stronger as you do these unapproved things and mom isn't around. my wife and I argued the first couple birthday parties but eventually she softened and although for the most part she has nothing to do with it she has given our kids a ride or two when I was sick. I even think there was time when she had to pick up the gift at the store for us for a bday party.
