So, is God a rapist!?

stuckinarut2

OK, I apologise in advance if this seems irreverent to those who believe in God.

BUT, the bible says that God (Jehovah) impregnated Mary. WITHOUT HER CONSENT. So that would seem to be Rape...right?

2+2=5

He could have at least done it after dinner and a movie.

cofty

According to the Luke's account of the myth Mary consented in advance.

Is it more likely a virgin gave birth or a Jewish girl lied?

punkofnice

Nah. It was Mary. She did the naughty with another bloke (probably a Roman centurion, and lied to Joseph.

Joey: You been eating too much fatty?
Mary: I'm up the spout, mate.
Joey: So, who's the other bloke then?
Mary: Errrrrrrrr..............God gave me a vision. God did it.....gonna be the son of god and stuff.
Joey: Phew. For a moment I thought you'd been sleeping around.
Mary smiles to herself: Nah. It's god, mate. God.

Not only did Joey boy fall for it but millions of people too.

Image result for not the messiah monty python

stan livedeath

It's all a slight spelling mistake...

Mary really said "it was good"

Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho

If Mary were living in the 21st century, the only plausible thing she'd get away with claiming is immaculate infection.

sparky1

Technically, I think Jehovah committed fornication. And apparently, he was repentant, as he 'only did it once'.

ttdtt

Apparently the only solution the guy who made the universe could come up with for the GIANT F-UP he created in eden.

The only problem I have with "Is it more likely a virgin gave birth or a Jewish girl lied?", which I think is a slightly adapted quote from David Hume, is that why isn't that excuse used by thousands of young women? Especially after it worked for Mary. Surely every girl for miles around would start having "immaculate" conceptions?

In fact, why don't we all use the immaculate excuse in all sorts of awkward situations.

"Have you come home drunk?"

"God appeared to me and gave me a sign... A Dog and a Duck. So I had to go to the pub."

Not that I think Mary was impregnated by a deity, it's just odd that she's the only one who get's the free pass. Why??

EverApostate

Seems Mary was empowered with the (Naughty) Holy Spirit that impregnated her. Not the Big J or smaller J