This is a little out of date.
I found it earlier deleting some emails from a good few years ago:
Feel free to add new lines to this old list!
You might be a JW if you...
If you clean windows or homes for a living and own five suits.
You don't consider a two door car really a car.
You know the convenience store clerks on a first name basis.
You have tennis elbow from turning the pages in the Bible.
A Buy One Get One Free coupon makes your day.
An RV is not a Recreational Vehicle.
You consider your priorities in buying a car to be cup holders, gas mileage and air conditioning.
While walking thought the Dorr Department at Home Depot, you feel compelled to starting knocking.
The Food Pyramid you follow had Coffee at the top.
While on vacation you first find the Kingdom Hall and then your Hotel.
At work you introduce a co-worker as Brother so and so.
You can calculate the time to the Last Days, but can't balance your checkbook.
The abbreviation CO has nothing to do with the word Company.
Magazines found on your nightstand and coffee table consist of the Watchtower, the Awake and
Stoops catalog.
You know that the term THE LIGHT GETS BRIGHTER AND BRIGHTER has nothing to do with the
dimmer switch on the wall.
The Holiday Season excites you only for the store sales.
You think Pioneer is not a stereo.
You think NEW LIGHT has nothing to do with the Lighting section at Home Depot.
You think TRACT has nothing to do with a piece of land.
You know when Nisan 14 of the Jewish calendar lands in the Gregorian calendar from year to year,
and yet you commonly forget your own birthday.
Memorial Day isn't in May.
You spent days in a Baseball stadium, never saw a ball and didn't have a beer.
You feel Formal Clothing and Civic Center belong in the same sentence.
You think nothing of letting your friends stop by to use your bathroom.
You know the cleanliness of every coffee shop for four towns around.
You can't buy a pair of shoes without thinking about how comfortable they will need to be while
walking residential streets in 95 degree heat.
You have a tendency to refer to books by color instead of names.
You can't pick a book or anything else to read without grabbing a Highlighter or pen to underline
something.
You think it is complementary to refer to someone as a study.
You have Get Togethers instead of Parties.
After a Get Together in your home, your house is still clean and you have more food than what you
started with.