US & UK difference

Olig

So I was wondering, is there a difference between the baseline attitudes of JW's in the US and the UK? I hear tonnes and tonnes of experiences regarding elders chasing people up and hounding them. And people having to devote their lives to fading out. I know a lot of these people appear to be from the US.

I'm from the UK. And I've managed to (pretty much) quit cold turkey... Last meeting I went to was October last year (Barr the memorial and 1 hour at the convention last week). And I haven't had anyone hounding me or calling to see if "you're ok?". I left home (after being on and off with the meetings) and asked a good friend elder to switch my cards over to another Cong. I've not attended this Cong at all since.

I wonder if this is a difference between the US and the UK? Or if I just got lucky?

Anna Marina

Hi Olig

I think it depends on your situation and how you handle it. I am in UK and I know ones who have left quietly and others who get hounded.

RogueRavenclaw

I am in th US and depends on where you are and the attitude of the Elders.

We have faded quietly and our fathers are Elders. They know we are inactive but don't want to make it into an ugly thing since we don't make waves in their little community.

When I was still PIMI and lived with my parents, myself and other young people in the Hall were stalked on social media by an Elder using a fake profile. Posing as a young worldly man asking young sisters to be "friends" with him and gain their trust. He was caught and reprimanded by the CO.

But in this same town my very dear friend who is still PIMI gets stalked on social media and the whole PIMI family is constantly reprimanded by the Elders for the tiniest things (things that are fine for other members in the Hall to do), to the point they have no privilages, can't even comment at meetings, but also they cannot disfellowship any of them. It's insane and is a blatant double standard they have specifically for that family. They even wrote to the Branch for clarity and the Branch basically said they trust the Elders judgment. Definitely no Holy Spirit working there. You can bet if they ever wake up and try to fade they will Disfellowship them ASAP.

Spiral

I agree that the reaction from the elders, or lack thereof, seems sort of random. We haven't had any trouble from elders in our more recent two congregations (we are in the US). Moving around for work has helped with this, they just didn't know us that well. It's elders we used to know 15-20 years ago that tried to give us trouble (via email and Facebook), which we just ignored. Eventually they just stopped.

But I know some people that were literally hounded for any sort of offense for years. Some brothers just won't let anything go, and the COs do nothing to stop it even when it's obvious, even by bOrg standards, that they are just harassing people.

Solzhenitsyn

In my opinion and due in no small part to my experience as both a PIMI Elder and now a POMO entire family fader:

A JW in the USA will have to spend a measure of time researching (thru forums like this), planning, and executing a fade within very little margins of error to out-maneuver the WT organizations policies and procedures. All this to pull off a departure that does not result in disfellowshipping and minimizes the shun factor that ~~can~~ will creep in to some degree. For many of us, regular maintenance (deprogramming via various means) is needed to recover mentally, emotionally, and spiritually while not setting off any alarms that could attract the attention of the JW police.

Friends who are POMO in the UK have told me they didn't have to put much effort into taking their quiet leave from the borg and the elders in 4 out of 5 of their cases never followed up whatsoever.

My impression is that there are LESS drama loving narcissistic elder policemen in the UK vs. USA.

DesirousOfChange

Definitely varies from Region to Region, Cong to Cong, and person to person. I think a lot depends on the "zeal" of the Elder Body involved, and esp any new "Zealot" Elder who is overbearing and thinks all his fellow Elders are "slackers" if they don't send the posse out on a JW who is trying to quietly fade.

It can also depend on who you are/were within the Borg ranks. If you were a prominent person that was highly regarded and who might become an embarrassment it may give them greater reason to try to "kick you out" so they can claim you are no longer a JW. On the other hand, if you are a prominent person that has the financial capability to cause WTS legal and financial problems, they might be glad just to see you fade "off into the sunset" and "let sleeping dogs lie" (if you are willing to do so and not be a problem for them).

YMMV

eyeuse2badub

US & UK difference

In the US we drive on the right side of the road!

In the UK you drive on the correct side of the road!

just saying!

sir82

In the US we drive on the right side of the road!
In the UK you drive on the correct side of the road!

No, no, no, you've got that wrong.

In the US, we drive on the right side of the road.

In the UK, they do the opposite, which must mean they drive on the wrong side of the road.

Anna Marina

You are both extremists. There must be a middle way.

LongHairGal

OLIG:

I would think they more aggressively pursue faders in the USA...Although, I don’t think everybody is pursued equally.

If you are a brother and have anything going for you like brains and a decent job, you will be pursued. They don’t have enough men..If you are a family/couple who entertained JWs a lot and opened up your home (hospitality), you will be pursued because you are an asset that has slipped away. If you have a skill people use or fix cars for cheap, etc. you will be pursued.

However, if you are a woman who did not do favors for all the User$, etc. you will be left alone. 😊

US & UK difference

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