Privacy

by Esmeralda001 56 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  Esmeralda001

  Thank you all for your answers.

  @toesup

  thank you very much for this peice of advice! Very useful! I'm looking forward to apply it. You are right with your reasonning: if people don't feel ashamed to ask intuisive questions, why would I feel ashamed to put them in their place in a polite way?!
• 

  sowhatnow

  wow, they seemed pretty bored, and decided to go at you. Id avoid that situation again,lol
  

  some of those were quite personal questions, Id have glared at them.
  

  in my exp, changing the subject to something controversial helps. if not politics, then,
  

  'so, what do you think about the cost of housing these days..'
  

  'what about these football players and these head injuries...'

  how about those gas prices! lol
  

  all answers need to be generic and short.
  

  who got that ring for you?

  'me, i liked it'

  what about boys do you have friends of the opposite sex?

  'dont we all?' [sort of cant be helped... ]
  

  do you sometimes work with a male partner on school work?

  'uh, no why would you ask me that?'
  

  what do you do in your spare time?
  

  'oh, just whatever, you know, just keeping busy like everyone else ' lol
  
• 

  Sabin

  Here's a few......Piss off. Shut your Pie hole. Do you feel special now. Talk to the Booty cause the Hand's off duty. Did your mother teach you to be nosy like that. It's clear from your behaviour you must have had a terrible childhood.

  Or you could just say, Mind your own F...ing business.
• 

  ToesUp

  I like Sabin's answer! She kicks ass.
• 

  Esmeralda001

  @Sabin

  let us try to avoid getting to this extrem, lOl. :-p

  @Sowhatnow

  I knew the ring question would come along the way. I saw them staring at it. I'm wearing my mother's engagement because it makes my hands look femine and polished and also because It symbolizes my celibacy vow. I Wouldn't feel confortable explainning my position to the couple.
• 

  Esmeralda001

  @longhair, @Rebel8, and @LisaRose

  sory ladies. I didn't see your answer the first time I went through the responses. Thank you for your advice!! @Longhair: do you know the reason why single women are more under the microscop than the rest? do there existe a way to keep the members out of your buisiness at all or will they find a way to find out things about you no matter what? Though I don't have anythig to hide, I like to keep my life private. That's just my personnality. I'm a quiete person , and do not trust people so easily.
• 

  cognac

  Honestly, I think that just comes with time.

  For me, I was so terrified of these questions. Over the years, as I got away from the cult more and more I began little by little viewing them as silly.

  IMO, just give yourself some time....
• 

  Esmeralda001

  I don't think JWs are nosy out of spite. They probably meant no harm. I think they're just paranoid and obsessed with purity. In any case I won't give them the permission to put me under the spotlight like they did. Never again! Pfff!
• 

  silvia

  I tried very hard to tolerate their behavior as well. I finally stopped attending their parties. After that, an elder counseled me that I needed to starting spending time with the friends. These people are not your friends. They can be very deceiving. They will smile and lie to you. They will gossip behind your back. They will love bomb you fiercely. When you don't do as expected in and outside of the hall, they will squash you like a bug. I don't know the answer really. It's a lose all around situation. Tell them to mind their business and you'll be labeled difficult. I finally quit trying so hard and left. Maybe JW Land isn't for us sensitive types.
• 

  ZAPPA-ESQUE

  1. Step 1 - When this individual asks a question that you consider to be personal and unnecessary for work make the comment "Wow, that's personal" and say nothing else. Unless this person is deficient in emotional intelligence, that should be the end of the conversation.
  2. Step 2 - If that didn't work and this person again begins to pry, look them directly in the eye and state that " I don't feel comfortable talking about my personal life in a professional setting." This will remind him of where you both are at and will establish that he has crossed a boundary and should retreat from that position.Again, this only works if this individual has the EQ to realize that his inquires are unacceptable in a professional environment.
  3. Step 3 - At this point you need to make a decision: is this person genuinely trying to be friendly and failing at the attempt, or are they attempting to use their position to potentially bully you for information? If you believe it's the former, have a brief conversation with them in a private area where you bluntly, but politely, inform them that you have no desire to extend your social / religious relationship beyond this boundary. Use the "it's nothing against you" line if you have to but ensure that they understand that you aren't going to be anything more than co-worshippers .
  4. Leave this Cult !

  :" Humor. Answer while doing an impression of a GB member.""" Uncle Stephen Lett impressions !!!!