by TxNVSue2023 77 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
I don't feel it's right that I was df'd when I was fully repentant.
That's where the problem is. The fact that you didn't confess on your own was the reason. The first question of the indicator of repentance in the elders' book is
Was his confession voluntary, or did he have to be accused by others?
But anyways, given that you were forthcoming in your answers, you will be accepted back within a year.
What makes me mad ( besides the betrayal of my ex husband for cheating) is that I did fully cooperate with e(lders, was completely honest. I expressed that I regretted it and felt guilty and relented. So I am bot understanding how they can say 'm unrepentant?
All of thos came like a ton of bricks. I was facing a divorce and betrayal from a husband I thought I loved & thought loved me. I had to put in my 30 days notice at my apartment so I could move in with family in another state (plus couldn't afford to stay there on my own). So the elders knew I was heartbroken oven the cheating & knew I was leaving the area to get away from ex ( and needed my new congregation for support) & they had no compassion for me/my situation.
I lost almost everything due to the divorce- including my relationship with Jehovah. But I wasn't the one who cheated & broke up the marriage. I gave the relationship with my husband everything I had, until I caught him.
Have you appealed the decision?
No, because I was in such shock that the d'f'me . I wasn't expecting that. Plus I have never had a talk with the elders for any trouble before this, so I didn't know how things worked.
You have seven days (from the date when they told you of the decision) to submit an appeal in writing stating why you feel a serious error in judgment has been made.
During the 7 day period I was too shocked by all the events that had taken place to uproot my life - the cheating. The df, the moving. I was too busy making preparation to move and plans to leave the area & busy in my own emotional turmoil. I didn't have the strength to deal with them.
You may be tempted to say: "Well, it was only this particular Judicial Committee and, had I sat before another group of elders, the answer could have been the other way." This line of reasoning would lead you to believe that the fault lies with the three men who sat as judges over you, rather than with the Jehovah's Witness religion. However, I implore you to reconsider.
Getting married is clearly an act of contrition; you took a definitive action to right the wrong. Furthermore, you did it in a very brief and hurried period of only 3 weeks! If you sincerely believe this, then consider the fact that the Jehovah's Witnesses as a whole don't. Otherwise, this would be mentioned in one of the endless religious materials that they produced in the last century. Thousands upon thousands of people lived the exact same scenario since the early days of that religion, and they never once took a proper stand, purposefully leaving it to the local elders. Hence, the religion as a whole is responsible for the disfellowshipping decision, not just the three elders.
Understanding this should lead you to reconsider your desire to join back into a religious group which clearly ignores the most important part of Jesus' teachings: Love and compassion. Consider all the speeches where Jesus denounced the pharisees for upholding the law to a fault and compare this to what just happened to you.
Actions are more important than beliefs. It is more important to show love than to believe in prophecies. It is more important to show compassion than to believe that the Holy spirit is not part of some trinity. It is more important to support one another than to go out preaching about doing these things. Case in hand, the Parable of the Two Sons in Matthew 21:28-32. You are judged by your actions, not by what you say!
JWs, like many other religions, tend to switch the narrative. To put importance on the beliefs rather than the actions. They feel the need to do this as this is what generally sets them apart from other groups. The truth is that love, compassion, kindness, empathy, etc., are things that can be found in individuals across all faiths. These are human traits, and this is where many believe that humans have been created in the likes of God; in these qualities. However, trying to keep the cohesion of their groups, many religions like the JWs, will uphold teachings above these Godly traits. This is precisely what Jesus was denouncing when he talked to the pharisees!
Finally, leaving the JW doesn't mean you need to leave Jehovah. JWs would want you to believe this, but in the end, if they are unable to practice the basis of Christian faith, than, staying with them will lead you further away from him. They become blinds leading blinds and all will fall into a pit. (Math 15:14).
I hope you the best and sincerely hope that you will take actions to stop further harm being done onto you by both religion and unfaithful mates.
Hi Sue,
I don't understand why you say you lost your relationship with Jehovah. Does the unkind and unChristian decision of 3 or 100 men affect how God sees you?
You may have lost your relationship with the organization, but hopefully that will serve to enhance your relationship with Jehovah and His Son Jesus who will never leave you or forsake you as long as the world stands.
I am thankful that your parents are not JWs or they would have to shun you as well. It's no wonder many disfellowshipped JWs end up committing suicide.
Look up girl!
Sue, you are DF...what more can they do to you...plenty if you seek reinstatement and get it. Unlike God who puts our sins as far away as the east from the west, JW s see to it your sins follow you from congregation to congregation. Take advantage of not only this forum, but watch ex JW videos and learn what it really is you are trying to get back into. The reason JW didn't want you to check out what they claim is apostate material is they know that is where you will find the real truth of the organization. ( contrary to what JW teaches, the "apostates" for the most part use JW own publications and the Bible and their own personal- often unfair-experiences. The JW use the term, return to Jehovah...what they mean is return to the control of the governing body and the elders. You are under the delusion that returning to Jehovah means you have to be part of "his" organization.... They are the ones who tell you it is his organization....You can't show me anywhere in the Bible -it'a a manmade organization. You never left the God you believed/ believe in. Don't let them take that away from you. Jesus told the woman at the well, it wasn't in that mountain or in Jerusalem that people would worship, but they would worship in spirit and in truth. ( you don't need an organization ) The JW have you to believe you have nowhere to go, but it isn't where one goes but to WHOM one goes. John 6:68 ...to WHOM shall we go....you have the sayings of everlasting life....( speaking of Jesus ) Finally I want to bring something to your attention that you and most rank and file don't know: if you had been an Elder, this likely would have been swept under the rug...there is a paragraph in the shepard the flock book which sort of follows the narrative of your story....they consider his actions showed he was repentant and he had been serving just fine...etc...( maybe someone knows and will direct to that in the book ) So that is a double standard-one for you and one for "the boy's club".
Hi Sue,
First of all, I am sorry to hear about your unfortunate situation in your mate being unfaithful and then to be slapped by the congregation like this.
I was raised my whole life in the organization and was an elder for about 10 years, I "stepped down" about 8 years ago. My guess is that your elders limped on the argument that you did not bring your sin to light until forced to do so by the confession of your ex. It isn't that this alone is a basis for disfellowshipping in their book, but certainly one component they start with. In conjunction with that, they also usually consider how many people know about the "wrongdoing". So if your ex was blabbing to everyone around him about it there is a good chance the elders took that into consideration.
I would never tell you what to do because I'm a PIMO just so I don't lose family basically, but I often wonder what I would do if I was disfellowshipped. As much as the organization inflicts pain and suffering on its people for just being human, your case being a perfect example, I think I'd take the opportunity and finally make my break for a new life.
I wish you well no matter your decision.
