by Chook 25 Replies latest jw experiences
Born in - Elders daughter - diehard believer - found info not conducive to believing the lie - read - understood - split - went through hell for many years (15ish) - It's all gone and I don't give a widows wart for any of it or any of them any longer, ex family included.
so, yes, you can get it out of your system and go on to live a full and productive guilt free happy life.
Your upbringing does stay with you especially when discussing it with others. Its all we ever knew and lived our lives along with it. I was not a little "robot" like other children my sister and I misbehaved at meetings as we were so bored and I could not connect with a God I could not see and who I felt had not cared for me and protected me as a child.
I felt it was the right decision to leave it and my conscience was not affected when I looked into other religions and researched the "life after death" philosophy.
I did not raise my children in any religion, I suggested they keep an open mind and make their own minds up as to what they wanted to believe. Its a little like forcing your children to eat vegetables, it could put them off for life!
It was not until lately when I have read about the effects of being raised in a cult, just how much it has unconsciously had influence on my thought patterns and views of people and relationships. I am shocked as I had spent most of my life thinking that I was free of it when in fact I am not.
Of course being shunned by your JW family does have an effect, as seeing other close families is a constant reminder of the life you could have had and all that was taken from you. Very sad.
Use what you were forced to do as a JW. I went to the headmaster's office and handed back the raffle tickets we were each given. I stood outside school assembly, sat in a class on my own during school Xmas parties, didn't join in with making Easter cards.
Am I damaged? Well it wasn't fun but I can go just about anywhere on my own including getting on a plane and travelling to other countries. I can join clubs and classes and go on my own if no one wants to come with me.
Some friends and relatives, never in a cult, can't seem to do anything on their own. Did I enjoy growing up in a cult? Of course not, but use what you have learned, whether you enjoyed it or not, to make your life now as interesting and fulfilling as possible. Don't let that cult defeat you. You are bigger than that.
My wife and I had a similar experience of being led into the JW world by our respective mothers at age 12 and 13. So apart from having non believing fathers we also had a witness free childhood.
After HS I pioneered where the need was great. Met my future wife at an Assembly began courting over the next year married in the truth pioneered together for a year and a half. Meanwhile we were exploring life...talking about the future....... This was in the early 1960's and boy howdy were the times a changing! I had had it with the society the boring meetings etc. thought the religion was pure BS. We moved took our publishers cards withus and promptly misplaced them! We moved a second time to Fort Lauderdale Florida.
We were so poor we decided the only way we could enjoy a resort lifestyle was to move to one! Free beach's a laid back existence.
Since my wife was also a non believer we had each other and our little boy. Having those early childhood memories helped a great deal...being in for those years 3 of which I was working on what my beliefs were turned out I, we were Atheist/Humanists.
We took nothing with us when we left including no literature or NWT bible. We were done with all religions. This was the best decision we could have made. Living happily ever after.
I agree with Flipper. This is my first time on any ex JW site. I have a new situation that I would like some input on. I have been out of the organization for 27 yrs, I am one of 7 siblings. My father is disfellowshiped, along with one brother and a disassociated sister. The oldest sister and I are only 18 month apart and have had a very close relationship. Suddenly last January she stopped talking to me.. blocked me on her instagram, and stopped commenting on my Facebook post. She lives in a home next to my mother and when I come to visit my JW mom, she ignores me. I was never disfellowshiped. I just faded away. Was there a new thought that prompted her reaction?
Qisme , your sister is cult affected, when someone is shunned for religious grounds is no different from someone killed for religious reasons.The one who is proactive for a religious cause will honestly think they are on a divine mission. When such thoughts are embedded on their mind there is little you can do until they see for themselves the bigger picture.
