The Last Days of a Pioneer

by madisoncembre 26 Replies latest jw experiences

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  madisoncembre

  I am starting a new topic since this blog entry is about something different.

  I have posted before about my recent split with the JWs. No exit comes out of nowhere and there were seeds planted long before this. I have never enjoyed field service. Let me clarify that - I actually enjoyed the process of going out and being social, and especially the coffee breaks. But I despised the actual preaching work and was disheartened early on about the futility of it all. Due to the intense pressure I did regular pioneer for some time in my late teens. I had an awesome pioneer partner who knew all the shortcuts so it wasn't too bad.

  It all came to a head when my father punished me by forcing me out on a brutally hot August morning. Even though I was regular pioneering, I had "banked" my hours and was taking most of the month off since I had already reached my quota. There was a local needs talk about not doing this as pioneers and encouraging others by taking the lead, so I was quite literally forced to go out anyway.

  There were a lot of triggering moments in this blog entry, but I am better off for writing it down finally after all these years.

  Below is the link.

  The Last Days of a Pioneer / Madison's Blog | The Lowdown with Madison (webador.com)

  Thank you

  Madison
  
  
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  Foolednomore

  Yes, I too Pioneered. I had partner and we always worked together. We placed alot of magazines and books with a trash can and even had return visits with the local eateries. We really made our time.
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  lriddle80

  I hated field service. Well partly because I never read the magazines I was peddling and felt guilty about being unprepared. One time a guy actually sounded interested and I made sure not to go back because I didn't want him to have all those rules to deal with!
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  Journeyman

  Field service can be enjoyable if it's talking about using Bible principles to help with day-to-day problems, learning from the example of Jesus or having a hope for a better future, but not if it's about pushing the "GB as FDS" or bigging up the "organisation", so I try to avoid those kind of topics.

  I always preferred taking a Bible study or sitting in on someone else's, rather than doing first call or street work. With a study you know the householder wants you there and is at least a bit interested. Otherwise, you just feel you're disturbing people, especially if it was a stupid time like a Sunday morning (not that I often did ministry then, but sometimes you couldn't get out of it if you had a partner who insisted on it).
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  punkofnice

  I absolutely dreaded the door knocking stuff. I only pioneered(tm) to virtue signal. I was a Jobot idiot. what was I to do? God was going to lovingly murder me SOON(tm) if I didn't.

  Then I became an Elder(tm) and the veil lifted.

  I saw what a vile Corporation(tm) I was enslaved to.

  Good for you Madz. Good for you.
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  HiddlesWife

  CONGRATULATIONS on and for your decision to leave off this "privilege of service"! I can concur with all of the other posters when they say that they HATE field circus. I can agree, not only because of annoying people--especially if these persons are not interested in this organization's rhetoric-propaganda--but also the MONSTER DOGS, who are trained to attack anyone who they deem is a threat to their owners. WT, for decades, didn't and still doesn't GIVE A DAMN about the wellbeing and safety of their members. In actuality, D2D is not a "soundness of mind" activity, anyways! 🤦‍♀️
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  punkofnice

  It's funny, I even recall an Elder(tm), saying from the pratform, the door knocking work didn't work.

  Then when I was an Elder(tm) giving talks and public talks, the message we were given was to make all talks about doing more ministry(tm).

  It was a guilt making factory. The whole Corporation(tm), is all about getting money and assets for the Governing Body(tm)(Pee be upon them), so these gluttonous CEOs of a Corporation(tm) posing as a fake religion, can live a rock star lifestyle.

  Once you outlive your usefulness, they kick you to the curb because you can't make any more money for them. They then want your assets in your will.
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  road to nowhere

  Aah the door work in brutal weather, few home(blessing), fewer interested. Do not forget the horror comic book covers on magazines. And the just loud enough you can't converse kingdom melodies playing in the car.
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  madisoncembre

  lriddle80:

  Well partly because I never read the magazines I was peddling and felt guilty about being unprepared. One time a guy actually sounded interested and I made sure not to go back because I didn't want him to have all those rules to deal with!

  The solicitation part of it I hated. I make a horrible salesperson and would almost equally dread going door to door selling anything else. We were going to these people's doors unannounced and mostly unwelcome. The elders and all the people at Bethel didn't seem to care about safety! I was going with my female pioneer partner up to these isolated residences, sometimes cabins. We were young women, aged 18 and 22. That's just insane to place females into a position where they could be assaulted.

  Like you, I had little interest in the magazines and had a hard time getting into an in-depth discussion on the rare occasions the householder was willing. I would always excuse myself and promise to return to discuss more. It was all so fake! And to be forced to do it! This organization really knows how to burn people out don't they.
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  madisoncembre

  Journeyman:

  I always preferred taking a Bible study or sitting in on someone else's, rather than doing first call or street work.

  I was the same. Not that I really "enjoyed" it, but when the householder was kind and invited us in, it was easy to sit, be attentive and helpful, and invite them to the Kingdom Hall. Street work was a huge chore for me and now that I think of it, I endured many panic attacks when I understood I'd be walking down the street with a bookbag all morning and sometimes into the afternoon. These were my days off and they wanted that from me too. I brought that up to an elder who was over for a shepherding call and I got the whole "we don't take time off from Jehovah" comment. I didn't view it that way, and reasoned if I did the daily text but skipped time for service it should be in no way considered taking time off from God.

  I really despise these elder types and the higher ups from Bethel. They were so unsympathetic to the plight of working people who needed the time off to recharge. Pioneering was pushed as a full time career, but you still needed to work and it just made everything unbearable. I just am saddened that I wasted all those years on something I so despised.