Anyone Else?

Viper76Man

I have been out of the religion for several years now (was rasied in it so have 18 years under my belt).... Although I was never shunned. It seems to me that lots of people have been ignored by members of the JW's after leaving. I expected this to be the case and expected my family members to begin to keep there distance. It never happened to me. Maybe I am lucky? What else is weird is that even members of the congregation still talk to me and have even come to a party I threw. Religion was never discussed and they respect my position. Do I have some kind of a "rock and roll" JW hall? Has anyone else been still accepted as a friend after being kicked out? I am very curious to see why they are all still nice to me but have NEVER mentioned religion at all.

Viper

Prisca

My sister is a bit like that. We've had arguments over my thoughts about "the truth" but now have agreed to disagree. We basically never talk about JWs or religion, and keep the conversation on more neutral things. I'm not df'd nor da'd either.

I think some JWs still associate with ex-jws because although they say they agree with the Witnesses' standards in regards to "worldly" people, they don't fully believe it themselves. Maybe they don't see you as "bad association" and consider your friendship more important than JW rules.

Or perhaps they secretly would like to leave and be like you, but are still tied to the religion somehow, maybe with family or social ties.

Alternatively, but I suspect this is only in very few cases, they may think that they can win you back to the religion. They may reason that by you having their "good association" you'll be drawn back to "the truth" and that will justify any "worldy" influence you may have had on them.

Edited to say: Welcome to the board!!

Emma

Welcome to the board. How long have you been out?

Viper76Man

I have been out 8 years. I am from Michigan as well. This is really very interesting place and I am happy I stumbled accross it. It is great to see all these people come together to discuss various topics about a former religion. Often times I wondered if others had a similiar thought process to me and had left the religion and here they all are...

Viper

Gadget

Welcome to the board.

I think that it depends on the person. Some people will shun people that are still in good sanding in the hall, and I'm df'd but still have the occassional person who will stop and talk to me.

AlanB

I have the same, I faded, well went into exile actually. I have some contact with very few people, those that are more genuine and have a great deal of respect for them. I do have to be careful what I say with all that I now know. Not easy for me as I tend to be quite outspoken.

Outaservice

What area of Michigan?

Outaservice

cruzanheart

Hi, Viper, and welcome! If you are careful, have all the stars and planets in the right configuration, and have the luck of the Irish, it IS possible to fade and still keep your friends. My husband, Big Tex, did just that about 15 years ago. I was still going and all of our true friends (the fake ones departed VERY fast) stuck by us and just got used to him not going. After a while, that's just the way it was and they didn't think twice about it. When I left, it didn't seem to be that big of a deal to them. I've got a couple of them who hand me a huge stack of magazines so I can "keep up," but we don't usually discuss religion -- we just have fun! Plus, the congregation where our publisher cards are is one of the best in the area at ignoring its members. I'm not sure they noticed that I left . . . .

You will definitely enjoy this forum. It's nice to know there's a "great crowd" (pardon the term) out there who feel just exactly the way you do.

Nina

Sassy

I think for children that literally leave when they graduate or turn 18, they dont' go through as much of a shuning process IF they were never baptized. I know my brother really never saw too much hassle. He never really became a JW.

joannadandy

It's weird.

I was never baptized either. Thus in theory they can hang out with me. Some of the hardcore people act all weird around me. They aren't sure what do do with me. Others pretend like nothing has changed. Others put conditions on me. Like we can go out, as long as no one see's us. Etc.

But even those who are nice to me, can't help but mention religion at some point. Either to tell me how great the assembly was, or how much fun they had in field service the previous day. LIARS!

But I TOTALLY understand what they are trying to do. I tried to pull it on my sister all the time: If I make it seem like I am having fun, they will want to come back to the meetings. I have no realized how immature that was of me.

Unlike some here, I don't get mad. As long as they don't get preachy on me, I know they are just doing what they think is right. For the most part they have learned to except the fact I am never coming back no matter how great the newest C.O. is. Can't blame them for trying really--it's their "job" afterall.

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