Thinking of writing a letter

by jumper 14 Replies latest jw friends

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  jumper

  I am thinking of writing a letter of disasociation, sometimes when faced with a hard decision I make a list, a lot of times it takes a number of lists befor I get any clearity. Here is my list so far.

  1) Do I really need to in order to recover? Its been almost 8 years doesnt time help to heal?

  2) Who will it efect? My whole family is still in the org. I know that this decision would have a impact on my relationships with each one of them. Probably the only ones Iam concerned with are my parents, its taken along time to get past all the shunning, at least the out right "you dont exist" kind. My elder brother has recently let me know that he and his wife are not interested, in having any kind of social interactions with me. I told him that I was not waiting for him to not be a jw to have a relationship, and that I hope that he wasnt waiting for me to be one. His reply to me was."We have dedicated our lifes to Jehovah" I took that to mean, there is not going to be any chance of us having relationship. I took it upon my self to read between the lines.

  3) What are my motives? I want to heal.

  Thats it so far. Iam sure that I have just scratched the surface. thanks for your input.
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  wednesday

  Take some time , Jumper and think about it. Esp. since all your family are jws. U can always do the fade. U do not have to play by their rules. u owe them no letter. some have and some have not. I'm sure more will give u some good advice too. There are pros and cons, lots of them. Just think about it before u write that letter, b/c they have u then.
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  Greenpalmtreestillmine

  Jumper,

  Wednesday has given you good advice. Handing in a letter of disassociation is a one way street, no turning around from that decision.

  Please, take your time and make that decision using your full mental faculties and no emotion. You can fade, and you can also make a personal statement with your fading. Please carefully consider before you write your letter.

  Sabrina
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  garybuss

  I hope you wait one year and do a lot of reading and talking during that year. Then after a year, take a look and decide how you feel. There are good reasons to diss. I wanted them to shun me and my family as a protection to my family. Now I shun them. That has worked very well. We have had no more losses since I took that approach. GaryB
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  blondie

  Sometimes just writing a disassociation letter is a healing process without ever turning it it.

  Survivors of abuse many times do that, write a letter to their abuser but never mail it.

  Blondie
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  Maverick

  Dear Jumper, you have been given great advice. I spent about a month writing a letter entitled, "My Account". It was very cathartic. I was able to purge so much of the poison that has accumulated during the previous four years! Only after that was I able to get past those feelings. As a dud we are taught emotions are a weakness. We are not at peace with who WE are as individuals, with our own temperments and personalities. The WTS pay lip service to those things but clog it up with BS about being imperfect. Any trait THEY say God hates is frosted over with guilt as a throw back from that rat bastard Adam. You feel how you feel, you like and dislike what you like and dislike. Forget those wicked and evil slaves of the WTS. My brother, a retired police chief, has a saying..."Never play another mans game!" Make your own rules and step outside the WTS. Make those losers real unhappy, enjoy your life! Maverick
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  shamus

  Dude,

  I was in your same boat... only I have NOTHING TO LOSE. I am the only one in the borg... so why did I not send in the letter?

  Because that is exactly what the society wants. They want you to be "heavy deamo" so they can get your filth away from your family.

  DON'T DO IT.

  Or, if you do, think about it for quite some time... it is a tough decision, so let your common sense take over.

  Brian.
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  DanTheMan

  Disassociation will close any cracks-in-the-door you may still have with your family.

  You're still recognizing their authority when you DA.
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  Been there

  Jumper,

  Welcome to the board. I totally agree with what Blondie said. It is very healing to write your letter out, say what you have to say...........put it in an envelope and put it away.

  It will all be out of your mind and should you ever decide to send it you have it ready. I believe however that you will be able to move on and not have a need to ever send it. All you really want is to say your peace. You can do that and not burn any bridges.

  Best of luck, what ever you decide.
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  shamus

  Another thing that helps is telling your story here. Almost everyone has, and it really really helped me!