Need some Input!

Sunnygal41

Hi All!

I'm going thru an incredible range of emotions since conversing with my fleshly sister yesterday. She's still in. I've posted a few times here, but, haven't yet gained enough "notoriety" to be recognized as part of the group yet. I've been out for about five years, DF'd, but left willingly since I didn't want to be part of that revolting religion any longer. I did 25 years, enough's enough. Anyways, I called my sis, who is a "staunch" witness, to speak to her about my mom's health and a few other "issues" regarding some information I'd heard thru my "worldly" aunt. My mom is a witness also, but walks her own line when she wants to. After I finished the "official" business, I asked how my three beautiful nephews were all doing, and caught up on some of the recent stuff in their lives. Then, greatly daring, I asked my sister if she would send me some photos.................longgggggg silence. Finally, I let her off the hook by saying: "you don't feel comfortable with that". and she said "no". I basically froze over, emotionally, at that point, and ended the conversation. I guess I just needed to vent and share and see what everyone here has to say about it............any comments, experiences or whatever would be great!

Terri

undercover

My first reaction is one of sorrow. One for you, because you are outcast from your family. It is tough to be on the outside of your family looking in. I think everyone here knows firsthand what your feeling. I think you will get many encouraging words from posters who are better at expressing themselves than I am. Only ex-JWs will understand. Others outside the religion will never get it. Here, we know, we understand and we empathize.

My second reaction is one of anger. Anger at the WTS. This f'king religion breaks up families based on it's own idea of importance. Again and again, families are broken apart or stressed beyond belief at a religious dogmatical teaching that forces people to pick between their families or their church. A religion that teaches Christ like love but then has the audacity to force it's members to shun their own flesh and blood is truly despicable.

drwtsn32

Wow...she wouldn't even send photos?

Maybe I shouldn't be surprised... we aren't even DFd or DAd but my in-laws have removed all of our photos from their house.

Sorry to hear about your experience... hope venting helped you feel a bit better!

nilfun

To take it to the exteme of not even sending photos is very sad. So sorry, ((Sunnygal41))

Billygoat

((((((Sunny)))))))

I am soooo sorry. I understand how painful it is to lose family. I've been out for almost 14 years. Unfortunately, I've had to emotionally divorce my family because of their unloving actions. That meant not sending them pictures of my wedding that they refused to come to last summer. I understand where you're coming from, but I think I also understand how deep into cult-thinking your family is. Especially if they're as staunch as mine. But I had to take a stand in order to protect my emotional well-being. Your family may feel they are doing the right thing too.

I know it's easier said than done...but find new loved ones for your life that will treat you with love and respect. After awhile, you'll quit missing the old fam so much. Family is who you make it to be. Blood is not thicker than water. Don't know if this helps, but it's worked for me.

Love,

Andi

Joyzabel

Welcome Sunnygal.

It hurts. Sorry. That damn religion loves to lord it over others, especially emotionally.

You've got some good advice here and vent all you want. Sometimes knowing others understand helps.

Don't try to hope your family will change, it will only frustrate you. Love yourself and your family, let the others go until they can show true love, too. Not conditional love.

Hugs,

j2bf

starfish422

Gosh, even my parents have sent photos of my nieces & nephews (through my grandmother). In their case, I have a feeling it's to show me all I'm missing out on, being out of the family.

(((HUGS))) I'm sorry your sister's treating you this way.

24k

I often wonder how they miss Jesus words at Matthew 9:13 "Go, then, and learn what this means, 'I want mercy, and not sacrifice.'"

Sassy

how sad. Some take it to such an extreme. I can't believe she couldn't send you a picture. The thing is some witnesses are more liberal (as you say your mom is) and others take it to such an extreme that they are barely tollerable and have no idea that the hurt they cause pushes ones farther from this religion.

Is there any chance your mother might share some pictures with you?

willyloman

It might help for you to recognize your sister for what she is: A total whack job.

JWs position themselves as holier than thou, their literature citing example after example of how "true Christians" are superior human beings. After a short while, they come to believe that.

Their actions, however, speak louder than words, as in the case of your sister's insult... and that's what it was, a slap in the face. She would not dare do that to her employer or some other person in her secular life she views as a superior. You, however, are just nothing in her book. But to those of us on this board, who understand what you're going through, you are very precious. No doubt you are precious to other people in your life as well. Cling to them. Avoid the sickos and the whack jobs. Disfellowship your sister from your life and tell her that she brought it on herself. Turnabout's fair play!

Your sister is enmeshed in a cult; she does cult thinking, has cult attitudes, and as one poster already said so eloquently, she is about as far away from the teachings of Jesus Christ as she could possibly be. She is not manifesting any sort of Christian love.

My mother tore up all the photos of our kids, her own grandchildren. All because their mother and I decided to become JWs. Every witness I ever knew who heard the story thought she was evil incarnate. When the shoe's on the other foot, they see it differently. Pure hypocrisy.

Hang in there. This is a good place to get well. Lots of people here will be there for you.

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