Thanksgiving Menu at Bethel

by Scorpion 11 Replies latest social humour

  • Scorpion
    Scorpion
    New World Diner Nov 25, 2001
    Welcome to NEW WORLD FOOD and "SPIRITS"
    (a NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION for the FAITHFUL & DISCREET DINER

    ENTREES

    Shrimp Creole
    Trinitarian Roast
    Torture Steak with Awake! flavor enhancer
    Governing Body Kabobs (with real meat, in due season, of course!
    Jehovah Jiros
    Filet of No Sole
    Chicken ala Kingdom
    Elder Burgers
    Wild Beast Stew

    APPETIZERS

    Society Soup
    Little "g" Salad (with 144,000 Island Dressing and Christendom Croutons
    Big "G" Salad (with Headquarters Cheese and Anointed Salad Dressing

    SIDE DISHES

    Russell Potato Chips
    Rutherford Rolls (Royce)
    No Cross Buns
    Franz Fries
    Retried Human Beans
    Spicy Gehena Chili
    Passed Over Memorial Bread

    DESSERTS

    Pioneer Upsidedown Cake
    Arch Angels Food Cake
    Beth Sarim Ice Cream: 3 flavors: Abraham, Isaac and Jacob
    Apostate Pops
    Pagan Pudding
    Date Bread Surprise
    Prophet in a Sense Cakes

    BEVERAGES

    1925 Shun Shine Punch
    1914 Watchtower Rose'
    New Light Beer

    All meals must be worked for and no grace is accepted. We will furnish each person with unlimited "truth" picks when brushing is not convenient.

    Hope you can come!

  • Stephanus
    Stephanus

    But NO humble pie!

  • Gopher
    Gopher

    LOL!

    I'm sure their "pagan pudding" doesn't have blood, right?

    I'd suggest a couple more beverages:

    Awake! orange juice (I don't know if they still manufacture that brand)

    Bethel Light Beer (say it real fast)

  • little witch
    little witch

    Scorpion wins the FUNNIEST POST OF THE YEAR AWARD!!!!!!

    High Five

    Too funny, I especially like the 144,000 Island dressing. LOL. Thanks for the good laugh Scopion!

  • little witch
    little witch

    Hows about Half-Baked potato heads, and Key lime Pry?

    PS, I suppose the wine is still off limits? LOL

  • calamityjane
    calamityjane

    LMAO

  • franklin J
    franklin J

    LOL,

    this is a hilarious post.

    Stepanus had a good suggestion, you might want to add some HUMBLE pie to the menu, although come to think of it, I do not , or cannot remember any "Humble" witnesses. When was the last time the Watchtower appeared humble to anyone?

  • shamus
    shamus

    AWESOME POST! I love it!

  • Sunnygal41
    Sunnygal41

    Scorpion, thank you for making my day!!! I needed that! I too think you should get an award for funniest post!

    Terri

  • Faraon
    Faraon

    No admittance without a tie (or a briefcase)

    Ambiance enhanced by Kingdom Melodies and constantly changing lights.

    Apostates to serve our just desserts.

    People from Malawi cannot enter without an invitation card. Mexicans allowed to bribe Maitre'D

    Blood sausage served only in separate fractions.

    Club membership allowed only after answering correctly 100 passwords.

    Invitation sponsored by the UN.

    Fresh fish flown daily from Canada in our private plane.

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