Do you have a barking, snarling, vicious Brain-Dog too?

by Terry 14 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Terry

  MY BRAIN-DOG

  There is a snapping vicious junkyard dog in my head.
  A dog constantly barking, hungry, terrifyingly intimidating, and above all...relentless!

  Unless I feed it a constant stream of input - it threatens to eat me alive.

  (It is that Monster from the id in Forbidden Planet.)

  Is everybody like that?
  Or is it just me?
  
  
  ____

  Examples.

  If I find something to do, to read, to listen to, to think about which is 100% interesting - the barking stops and I can concentrate TOTALLY and lose myself in the process.
  Hours at a time.
  Relaxed.

  But -Uh Oh - if I'm not totally absorbed because then a restless energy seizes the beast and I'm miserable.

  Asleep at night - a thought enters a dream and asks a question and suddenly - WIDE AWAKE! Bark bark barking.
  ___
  As a Kid : Brain-puppy

  When I was a kid and my parents took me to grownup movies I didn't understand - instead of getting restless, squirming and acting up --I sat perfectly still because I WAS GLUED to trying to make sense out of it!
  Raw meat for my Brain-puppy

  In School?

  The same with books.
  Hard books.

  I loved finding difficult books at the public library
  and spent hours writing down words I didn't understand - looking up definitions - listing the new words - memorizing them.
  Memorizing Poetry, Pi to fifty decimal places ...

  More raw meat for the Brain-dog

  I even enjoy reading about things I'm not interested in because my disinterest is interesting. Crazy?

  It shuts up the barking, snarling Brain-dog!

  As a teenager I got into the whole religious cult thingy because there was so much "information" to absorb, analyze, research, and commit to memory.
  Historical dates, long scriptural passages.

  My brain wanted to drain the Bible of all its mystery - even to the point of teaching myself Greek.
  I learned how to get up in front of strangers and give an hour sermon. Thrilling!

  It shut up the fully grown Brain-mastiff

  So too with Music!

  I read books on why Western hemisphere music is 12-tones (books on the Theory of Equal Temperament).
  I wanted to figure out what notes went with which chords.
  (I can tell you every note in every chord in all inversions.)

  In prison I taught myself piano and how harmony worked by sneaking into the Catholic rectory (while others went to the Mess Hall to eat.)

  My brain was more starved than my body.
  WHY? WHY?

  Raw meat.

  Trivia. Puns. Vocabulary. Quotations. Very very interesting to me.
  Writing itself is not elective for the most part!
  I MUST WRITE when an odd thought pops into my skull or it won't leave me alone.

  But IF I DELIBERATELY TRY to write something somebody wants me to write about --you think it will come easily?

  Hell no!

  Can a Mind understand the Brain? Sure.
  Can your Mind understand itself?
  Hell no!
  ___

  CONCLUSIONS

  I know how to feed that snapping vicious junkyard dog in my head - but I don't know who put it there or why.

  I hope your Brain isn't like my brain.
  I hope you have a fluffy pussycat curled up purring instead.

  
  

  Tell me, please, about your relationship with your own Mind.
  What sort of beast is it??
• 

  blondie

  I have a problem with worrying about what might happen, a circular thinking monster. I drains me and prevents me from getting anything done. I try to picture a practical solution, put it in steps to take, start out with #1, and then #2, and I get there. Seeing a practical way of dealing with it in my head, keeps the barking down or almost nonexistent. If the barking comes back, I look at my plan, see what I have accomplished already and realize that I can take the next step, not focusing on all the other steps.

  My problem is if the barking dog is a person that keeps telling me what bad will happen to me, or what bad has happened already to other people, or that other people have tried that and failed.

  But, I can walk away from them more easily than the barking dog in my head. So I eliminate whatever is a barrier that I can (not being around or listening to those barking dogs) and concentrate on my step-by-step solution. As I successfully complete the current step, it encourages me to take the next, and the next, etc.
• 

  peacefulpete

  Terry in your case, its a gift.

  I get obsessive sometimes, less often recently. I have had times in my life when I also read furiously, but now I mostly hope to not forget my closest friends' names and embarrass myself.
  
• 

  Terry

  At a certain age I thought learning and self-improvement would make me "worthy" of - I don't know what - other people's attention? Friendship? Admiration?
  It doesn't work that way. Not at all.
  People generally don't like being around a know-it-all or even a too-curios seeker of information. Why?
  Well, I think NORMAL people have better ways to spend their time than trivial detail-mongering.
  
  BLONDIE -
  I can see how bothersome the worry can be.
  When is it just good sense to worry and when does it border on neurosis?
  Obsessive thoughts are neurotic because they interfere with happiness.
  I don't think I'm obsessive in the psychosis end of it - although for many years I was an avid collector records (vinyl LP's) to the point of mania.
  Nope - it's not a GIFT.
  It is the thing that makes me too different to go with the flow and be with other people.
  I have to fake it to appear normal.
  I'm definitely not an intellectual or even brilliant. Those are very different sorts of folks.
  I know because I have met some. I ain't them!
  
  The MIND is a very curious lump of meat.
• 

  zeb

  Terry,

  No not barking.. just... there.. a black dog. Currently it just wanders along near me and there are times when its under my feet.. it drools.. its very presence virtually prevents me doing anything but I must... to attempt anything that involves making anything its presence means I get the measurements wrong..It softly growls for no reason.. I forget stuff. Walk down the street and see woe and destruction.. remember anything as see my life as full of failures many. If school days are recalled its nasty bitch teachers who made a career of ridicule and any spontaneity drummed away from us.
  

  I long I ache to hold some one as a frightened child and receive their help compassion care warmth for some one to say ..well done and reach out to me.

  No not a barking dog just an old black one...

  Thanks be for medication and the Australian Pharma scheme that makes it affordable.
  
• 

  Terry

  I just took the Briggs-Meyers test:
  https://www.16personalities.com/personality-types

  The Myers–Briggs Type Indicator is an introspective self-report questionnaire with the purpose of indicating differing psychological preferences in how people perceive the world around them and make decisions.
  
  
  
  
  __________
  1. 57% Extroverted
  2. 69 % Intuitive
  3. 63 % Feeling (Nature)
  4. 56% Tactics
  5. 72% Turbulent Identity
  Your personality type is:
  Campaigner
  ENFP-T
  ________
  Curious – When it comes to new ideas, Campaigners aren’t interested in brooding – they want to go out and experience things, and don’t hesitate to step out of their comfort zones to do so. Campaigners are imaginative and open-minded, seeing all things as part of a big, mysterious puzzle called life.
  
  Observant – Campaigners believe that there are no irrelevant actions, that every shift in sentiment, every move and every idea is part of something bigger. To satisfy their curiosity, Campaigners try to notice all of these things, and to never miss a moment.
  
  Energetic and Enthusiastic – As they observe, forming new connections and ideas, Campaigners won’t hold their tongues – they’re excited about their findings, and share them with anyone who’ll listen. This infectious enthusiasm has the dual benefit of giving Campaigners a chance to make more social connections, and of giving them a new source of information and experience, as they fit their new friends’ opinions into their existing ideas.
  
  Excellent Communicators – It’s a good thing that Campaigners have such strong people skills, or they’d never express these ideas. Campaigners enjoy both small talk and deep, meaningful conversations, which are just two sides of the same coin for them, and are adept at steering conversations towards their desired subjects in ways that feel completely natural and unforced.
  
  Know How to Relax – It’s not all “nature of the cosmos” discussions with Campaigners – people with this personality type know that sometimes, nothing is as important as simply having fun and experiencing life’s joys. That Intuitive trait lets Campaigners know that it’s time to shake things up, and these wild bursts of enthusiastic energy can surprise even their closest friends.
  
  Very Popular and Friendly – All this adaptability and spontaneity comes together to form a person who is approachable, interesting and exciting, with a cooperative and altruistic spirit and friendly, empathetic disposition. Campaigners get along with pretty much everyone, and their circles of friends stretch far and wide.
  _____
  Poor Practical Skills – When it comes to conceiving ideas and starting projects, especially involving other people, Campaigners have exceptional talent. Unfortunately their skill with upkeep, administration, and follow-through on those projects struggles. Without more hands-on people to help push day-to-day things along, Campaigners’ ideas are likely to remain just that – ideas.
  
  Find it Difficult to Focus – Campaigners are natural explorers of interpersonal connections and philosophy, but this backfires when what needs to be done is that TPS report sitting right in front of them. It’s hard for Campaigners to maintain interest as tasks drift towards routine, administrative matters, and away from broader concepts.
  
  Overthink Things – Campaigners don’t take things at face value – they look for underlying motives in even the simplest things. It’s not uncommon for Campaigners to lose a bit of sleep asking themselves why someone did what they did, what it might mean, and what to do about it.
  
  Get Stressed Easily – All this overthinking isn’t just for their own benefit – Campaigners, especially Turbulent ones, are very sensitive, and care deeply about others’ feelings. A consequence of their popularity is that others often look to them for guidance and help, which takes time, and it’s easy to see why Campaigners sometimes get overwhelmed, especially when they can’t say yes to every request.
  
  Highly Emotional – While emotional expression is healthy and natural, with Campaigners even viewing it as a core part of their identity, it can come out strongly enough to cause problems for this personality type. Particularly when under stress, criticism or conflict, Campaigners can experience emotional bursts that are counter-productive at best.
  Independent to a Fault – Campaigners loathe being micromanaged and restrained by heavy-handed rules – they want to be seen as highly independent masters of their own fates, even possessors of an altruistic wisdom that goes beyond draconian law. The challenge for Campaigners is that they live in a world of checks and balances, a pill they are not happy to swallow.
  ____
  
• 

  stillin

  I took the test. Cool! It says that I'm a mediator.

  I have real dogs in my home that are good friends sometimes, but mostly a chore.
• 

  TD

  Yes.

  And I love your concept art from Forbidden Planet too.
  
• 

  Terry

  The Monster from the id certainly feels about right :)
• 

  Vidiot

  The OP reminds me of the Native American allegory of the Two Wolves.