Hello everyone. My old account was silent and I had to create a new account which kind of bums me, but here I am.
Over the years I've really experienced some rough times emotionally and spiritually which led me down many paths. Being angry most all of time with a few outbursts really started to make me take stock of what was wrong with me. Further I started really going back and trying to figure out where I went wrong.
So I revisted all my previous posts on here. I think 7 topics and 97 replies were found and I went back and commented on every single one.
One thing that struck me is how negative most all of my posts were. I also had made some statements about the FDS which called them into question although I never said they weren't God's channel, I certainly was upset because my life was in shambles - going from a confident young man to a blubbering depressive shell makes you lash out and start looking to blame others for your plight. I had been on anti-depressants from 2002 to around 2009 as well and the muting effects of that medication once removed (without doctor's orders I might add) will make you say and do things you wouldn't if your mind was in the right place.
After much consideration involving a lot of prayer (every night for months) and personal reflection as well as a wonderful visit with my aging mother yesterday, I've been able to remove a few emotional blocks and dig deep into my being to where I can start to feel love - a feeling the likes of which I've haven't felt before.
So I'm going to go merrily back on my way on a spiritual journey with a more optimistic approach. I'm tired of carrying around old baggage and having it define me now. I want to be freed from my pessimism and actually experience positive emotions.
I never said anything negative about Jehovah and Christ Jesus the entire time I was on here because I believe them to be real and as kind and as loving as the Bible says they are. I've replied to all my posts where I was calling into question the FDS's policies and legitimacy. I've looked and found no other place in the world that consistently works as hard to produce spiritual information to help us be optimistic. I want the best for my wife and family and instead of rolling around in the mire of negativity always finding fault and taking a perpetual negative view on spiritual things, I want to approach things in a positive light where no anti-depressants are required to feel good.
I wish you all the best and please remember - it all starts with personal prayer every day and setting some small spiritual goals for yourself. Once you start getting educated on the real life, good things start to happen.
silent