Elders harassing me

raven

Hi everyone, it has been a while since I've last updated! (refer to my previous posts for the full story) here is a quick re-cap: 2 months ago my mother found out that I am living with my boyfriend, she told me I was discovered by an "anonymous" tipper who turned me in for "living in sin".. First of all, that is nearly impossible, the congregation I was in is 100's of miles away from where I currently live.. No one would have ever known I was living with my boyfriend unless I told them, which I never did, I cut off all communication with that congregation in part of my attempted fade which was blown into pieces and discovered.. Anyways, my mom tells me if I don't go to the elders and confess like a good little sheep, then she is obligated to tell them.. ( Don't see why, I don't even live under her roof ) Well I never went to them because Why should I? So they met with my mother and she told them I live with my boyfriend... Let me remind you, this was TWO months ago.. I was told I was going to be DF'd and that was that. Now as of this month I have been receiving NUMEROUS phone calls from the elders, multiple calls and voice messages a day. All of which I ignore.. I then blocked the phone number... Now the only person that knows my address is my mother because I gave it to her so that she could forward me my mail.. Guess what appears in the mail on Monday? A letter from the elders that were phone harassing me... The letter basically said " We would like to discuss with you further about your current living situation, so that we can help you regain your love for Jehovah" Blah blah blah "Please meet with us for a judicial committee on August 1st" it was signed by all 3 elders.. - Ha ha no... I threw it away. What should I do? Keep ignoring their letters and calls..? I am moving to a new home next month and I won't be telling my mother my new address.. I feel like I am being emotionally blackmailed when all I wish to do is be left alone.. I have never been happier since out of the org and it has almost been 6 months! How do I get them to leave me be? I hate this organization and all that it is, no one knows I'm an apostate at this point but I'm sure that will also be discovered by another "anonymous tipper" Words cannot even explain how fed up I am by the org, and the elders. Not to mention all of the lies I've woken up to.. Sigh- can someone give me some words of encouragement right now? Any similar situations?

truthseekeriam

Just continue to ignore them. It took me awhile to realize that the only power they had over me, was what I gave them. They don't pay your bills or put food on your table so why would you owe them anything?

Move forward and start living you new happy life :)

wolfman85

Call them and let them know if they proceed with the JC you will sue them.

StarryNight9

Yep, you're being emotionally blackmailed. However, it sounds like the only connection that you care about it affecting is your Mom. Please remember that shunning is the choice of the person doing the shunning and they can stop doing so whenever they'd like (doesn't hurt to remind the person of this frequently). My personal opinion would be to keep ignoring the elders. Engaging with them won't improve the situation in any way. You'll be expected to throw yourself at their feet and be the perfect JW for years to maybe get back in their good graces. It sounds like you're happy with your life and have no reason to let the JWs bully their way into it. Enjoy your happy non-JW life. You deserve it.

freemindfade

Talk to Mr Flipper, he has some great insights on dealing with elder harassment.

LostGeneration

If it wasn't sent with a return receipt requested, you never got it! Problem solved

JeffT

I have never been happier since out of the org

Tell them this. Tell them you do not recognize their authority over you and won't respond to them in the future. End with a note that you'll sue them for slander if they DF you. I'm guessing they'll just leave you alone rather than open up that can of worms.

Lynnie

I've been out for 40 years but had a very similar experience when I left. I had been gone from the JW's for almost 2 years and my mother gave them my address because she suspected I was living in sin (yes I was!) But I thought after two years no one would bother me but of course she gave them the address and the elders showed up unannounced one night and there was a big party with smoking and drinking going on so...I was df'd but not even sent a letter or anything. Funny how they don't leave some people alone at all but others they do. My cousin Cheryl was able to leave no problem, marry a non-believer and not get DF'd. In fact she told me I could leave the JW's anytime I like because she had. Well her mother was a big $$$ contributor to the KH where we went so in her case they just left her alone. Not me however. I couldn't believe they were still interested in me after 2 years! Jerks!! They should spend time with people that actually want to be in the org, not harassing people that just want to leave quietly!!

kairos

By the time they sent me a "Judicial Committee Invitation" I was already long gone.

I was also betrayed.

Ignore the crazy and build a new and wonderful life free from the madness of WT mind control.

I found it amusing that the letter form the elders was in Comic Sans font!
Wow! Real serious!

sir82

What should I do? Keep ignoring their letters and calls..?

What you should do depends on what you want.

They are following the "rules" as outlined in the elders manual. If you ignore them, they will DF you in absentia.

If you are OK with that, by all means continue to ignore them.

If you don't want to be DF'ed, you will have grovel, or lie, or lie and grovel.

There are posts on this site which outline a method some have had success with, i.e., getting an attorney to write them a scary letter threatening a lawsuit if they announce your name as "no longer one of Jehovah's Witnesses". that will at the very least buy you a few months while they go whimpering off to Bethel's legal department, asking what to do. You can use the search feature on this site to try to find those posts. I think they even contain sample language to use in the letter.

Elders harassing me

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