People don't get how all encompassing this religion is over your whole life. Most just think it's a strict religion where you go preaching every once in awhile.
Telling People You Used To Be A JW
by JW_Rogue 20 Replies latest jw experiences
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Balaamsass2
I never share being an ex jw if possible, especially at work.
A lot of people hate JWs. Everybody hates/fears cults. I wouldn't want a co-worker, customer, or employer subconsciously associating me with Warren Jeffs, David Koresh, or Jim Jones.
It came up a few times during my employment during security background checks. (I had to explain my time at Bethel).
I enjoy discussing the subject with other ex-JWs. They get it...especially if they were raised as a JW and were in the "Borg" for many years. Meeting other ex JWs in person is good for your sanity!
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moomanchu
Only a Jehovah Witness can understand the profound affect it has on your life to be one.
Leaving Watchtower is like pulling a tree out of the ground, the tree is the cult and the ground is your mind.
It leaves a hole and the ground is all disturbed.
One of the most difficult things I ever done.
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jwundubbed
It typically comes up for me around Christmas time. I still don't celebrate Christmas. I do celebrate Halloween... but kind of all year long. I love creepy and weird things. Lots of people do, but it confuses them when I don't celebrate Christmas. I'm happy to tell people I was raised in a cult. I don't tell them it was the JWs because then they argue if the JW are a cult. I don't need to have that conversation with people who have no idea that those annoying people who bother than on the weekends often also scope out their houses to see which ones they want to live in during the New System. It sounds pretty creepy when you state it like that and it doesn't sound good to people. But I still don't want to have that conversation.
I tell people I was a JW when I think they will be receptive to hearing what it really is... all the freakin weirdness! I don't worry about telling Christians specifically... because the Jehovah's Witnesses are not Christians. I am sure to tell them that. It's right in the name for Christ's sake. Christians are literally 'followers of Christ', we were Jehovah's witnesses... not followers of Christ. And we only ever celebrated his death, not his life. If given a choice to follow Christ or to follow Jehovah.... you know which one the JWs would follow and it wouldn't be Christ. Therefore... we were never Christians. We were Christian Non-Christians. We were non-Christians who thought we were Christians. Talk about cognitive dissonance!
I don't typically go into all that for anyone unless they express an interest or start a debate, but I thought you might like to hear a different perspective. I know, not many other ex-JWs think the way that I do... but at least I have logic on my side. You might not like my perspective but it isn't illogical.
For me, I never left the Watchtower. It's weird to me that people think of the JWs as synonymous to 'the Watchtower'. To me, that's just a magazine. I always liked the Awake! better. But I didn't get baptized to a magazine or a building or whatever. For me, leaving the cult was not like pulling a tree out of the ground. It was like leaving a cult. I had to deprogram myself and that is particularly hard when the professionals don't agree that the JWs are a cult and when you were born in and don't know what you don't know. There are definitely gaps... things I didn't learn in my formative years that I would have learned if I hadn't been in a stupid cult. When I left my entire foundation crumbled to dust and disappeared. I had to start from scratch... what is actually good and actually bad? What is right? What is wrong? Do I know these things for myself without the guidance of something bigger than myself?
I did know right from wrong without them. That's why I left the cult in the first place. They were wrong. Leaving the cult was hard for me but wonderful in that I learned to question everything. It's a good lesson. A painful one and I wouldn't wish it on anyone... but a good lesson non-the-less. Almost 30 years later, my take away is this... You get to decide if it was all a big waste or if you got something good out of it. Recovery is a process and you take whatever time it takes for you to recover. But... you can decide to focus on the negatives or focus on the positives. The cult taught me not to care what other people think of me and with the current trends in virtual reality and the internet... that was an awesome lesson to have learned. It is really working for me now. I can also help people who have been through trauma... and in ways that a lot of other people cannot. I value that because... I would like to leave a positive footprint behind me when I leave this world.
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Phizzy
I never liked admitting I was a J.W from a very early age, despite being in the org. until my late fifties. Looking back it was the first sign of a growing Cognitive Dissonance.
I still avoid it, why mention it ? Why ? Of course I recognise there are the odd occasions where it is useful and informative for a person to be informed.
But as many have pointed out on this Thread, the general Public just do not, and cannot, get what it meant to experience the harm done to you by such a weird upbringing and life.
What I find gratifying is that now when I do reveal it, people are amazed and say "What ? YOU ?? ", which means I guess that I have managed to expunge every J.W influence on my personality and character, at least I hope so !
We can never forget the experience, but we can get rid of every baleful influence the J.W org. had upon us, and become Normal, Happy People !
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JW_Rogue
They probably think that leaving is no more stressful than cancelling a subscription
Yep, like it's a normal church where you just stop showing up. It doesn't work like, there is whole system to keep you in place and for the most part it works. The whole thing is too far out there for most people to get or understand.
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JW_Rogue
I never liked admitting I was a J.W from a very early age, despite being in the org. until my late fifties. Looking back it was the first sign of a growing Cognitive Dissonance.
Me neither, when people would ask me about holidays and such I would just answer with something very vague or change the subject completely. Then people think your odd or antisocial because you make it very hard for people to get know you.
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JW_Rogue
JWUndubbed - Great post, I'm not sure why some people start referring to it as "The Watchtower" once they leave. I think that tends to be a way to differentiate between the average JW or the local congregations and the top of the org. It is a red flag to a JW though and they will label you an apostate as soon as they hear you refer to it like that. I pretty much don't believe in any of it anymore. I've been seeing a lot of videos on youtube where Pastors go to JWs and try to prove to them the divinity of Christ or the Trinity. It's good to see them getting pushback out there but to me it's all meaningless and fake anyway. That's why I avoid getting too deep with Christians because even if they agree that JWs are wrong, it is likely not going to be the same reasons that I have.
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Ron.W.
After a lifetime of 'giving a witness' in school, work, holiday, etc etc I like the fact that I don't have to self importantly announce and import my beliefs on anybody anymore..
I'm enjoying the peace and life with so much less drama about every issue, from Mothers Day to Christmas Day..etc etc.
Some born again customers who don't know I was a witness were going on about prayer and their religion to me the other day.
Their eyes were glazed over and they both looked so odd.. I thought to myself 'that's how I must have come across when I wanted to pump my religion to everyone I could.'..Creepy.
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SouthCentral
Nothing positive comes from sharing that you were raised in a dysfunctional lifestyle. It's better not to share!!