Dilemma - possible new book deal

by Lady Lee 19 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Lady Lee

  Ok the group of writers that I collaborated with for the Tales of Christmas book (that Chapters will be selling) is considering trying a second book about mothers.

  Most of the stories in the book will probably be about wonderful mothers. Well as many of you know I didn't get one of those.

  I don't have to submit a story for this book if I don't want to. And I am not a fiction writer (as I'm sure most of you have guessed)

  I am really divided about writing a submission for the book. I know it would have to be real but my real isn't exactly warm and lovey about mothers.

  If you bought a book about mothers. (Let's say for Mother's Day) would you think a story such as I might write would be out of place in the book.

  I was thinking possibly of talking about my mother or mothering in general or the "mothering instinct" and how some mothers don't have it.

  I will appreciate all your input into this.
• 

  avishai

  Lot's of us have shitty mom's. We need to hear those stories more than the ones who had good mom's reading about good moms, so we know we're not alone. Write it, go with your gut on this one, gorgeous.
• 

  concerned mama

  Lady Lee,

  What kind of a mother are you? I'll bet you were way better than your own mother. Maybe you could write about your growth. That a person doesn't have to be the kind of mother their parent was, if they don't want to. That we have choice in our behavior and one bad parent/child relationship does not mean it has to continue for generations. That you made something negative with your mother, become something positive with your own kids.
• 

  imallgrowedup

  LL and Aviashi -

  I'm so sorry that you guys had mothers who couldn't or wouldn't give you what every child deserves to have. It breaks my heart just thinking about it.

  LL - I think you should write it. IMHO - I think if I read a story like that in a collection of stories about mothers, it would help me to realize what a good mother I am - while at the same time, as Aviashi says - it would let others know they were not alone. Have you run this idea past "the powers that be" to see if they would even consider printing it? On the other hand, it could be a great catharsis for you to write it - whether or not it gets published.

  I definitely think you should write it, no matter what the chances of getting it published are.

  growedup
• 

  SheilaM

  LadyLee:
  You could do a personal essay but fiction based. Although your Mother may have been horrible I am sure there is SOMETHING that happened that you could draw from , so you in essence take a real event and no matter how small you can enhance it from either others experience or from different moments of your own.
  
  You can also just take one Moment and write that maybe a moment of what is reality but what you really wanted reality to be.
  
  So go for it Lady WHOOO HOOOOOO
• 

  joannadandy

  What is the purpose of the collection? What's your audience--that'll answer your question.

  If your looking for an anthology dealing with motherhood then your story has every right to be in with the rest, however, if it is meant to be a selling piece with a publication date around mothers day--I wouldn't. Those kind of readers probably wouldn't be able to handle it. Just my two cents.
• 

  Scully

  Was there a female figure in your past - grandmother, aunt, older cousin, neighbour, teacher - who gave you the support and encouragement that your mother did not? Anyone who felt like "adopting" as your mom? What about a relationship with your hubby's mother, if you have been able to get to know her?
• 

  Lady Lee

  Scully not one that I can think of and I have only really met my mother-in-law 4 or 5 times in the last 5 years so not much there either.

  Concerned mama I think there would be an element of that recovery piece in it. I hate to leave people thinking that healing is impossible

  avi an excellent point

  growedup - I just emailed them

  Sheila - I'll give that some thought

  jo we have no idea if the publisher will pick it up and I doubt we could get it done for mother's day - this year - 15 authors collaborating on a project doesn't make things go very fast
• 

  bebu

  Is your relationship with your mom ended? If so, perhaps you might not want to write.. If it were me--and I no longer spoke to my mom--I'd feel quite odd about it.

  I think you could put a special perspective into it as someone who didn't have a perfect mom. No one really has a perfect mom (or dad, spouse, etc.). but if your relationship has somehow survived, you could examine, with grace, the paths you walked, and how you survived. That can be more real and inspiring than a fantasy story.

  bebu
• 

  Lady Lee

  bebu - my mother shuns me. She considers me an apostate and a very dangerous person.

  Even if she were to leave the JWs there isn't a lot of room for us to form a relationship. She still blames me for having an "affair" with her common-law husband - when I was 12. She still refuses to acknowledge that I was a child and he was abusing me as he had abused her sister (my aunt who later committed suicide) and my younger sister. She lives in her own world with too many delusions to make a relationship feasible.