Being homosexual in a JW house hold

by Jean 19 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  Jean

  I could not find a topic about this if there is one ooops. It is hard to speak with my mother or any other witnesses about this, their response is "its ok to be gay just don't ever 'act out.'"

  Acting out = being with someone even if its a healthy consensual legal relationship between two adults its still wrong. I do believe in Jehovah however my beliefs do differ from the main stream teachings. I just don't understand how anyone could say that to another human being? Tell them to be alone for the rest of their lives. I have been alone for a while, on my own accord (I am trying to work on myself and my schooling). I don't know how the forum members will react once they read this. I just want to know I am not alone.
  
  Or maybe I am. If so it was worth a try.
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  blondie

  It is little different, but it is like being a single woman in the org and having no appropriate person to marry; they expect you to be happy single....at least eventually someone "appropriate" might turn up, but not for a gay woman or man.

  Don't ever have a gay friend stay overnight without a chaperone, even if nothing happens you can be df'd for it.

  If your beliefs are different, don't want too long thinking you have to be part of a religious group. Find friends that support you as the person you are, not the person they think you should be and who claim to speak for god.

  Blondie (alone until I married a non-jw, still married almost 30 years later and happy)
  
• 

  OUTLAW

  I don't know how the forum members will react once they read this.

  As long as you`re a decent person, most of us don`t care..

  .....
  

  
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  LoveUniHateExams

  Welcome to the forum, Jean.

  The majority of us posters think that religions oppress gay people by labelling gay relationships as morally wrong.

  The outcome of this is sometimes a lifetime of lonely, enforced celibacy or an unhappy marriage to someone of the opposite sex.

  The believers among us may believe gay sexual relationships are wrong but believe that the JW practice of shunning, when people decide to leave the religion and live their life, is harsh and wrong.

  "its ok to be gay just don't ever 'act out.'" - but what about feelings? Do JWs believe it's ok for two people of the same sex to love each other, to be attracted to each other? And what's wrong with a same-sex couple walking down the street, holding hands or going for a romantic meal in a restaurant, anyway? These are questions that perhaps you might return to, as I assume you've given them at least some thought already.

  Whatever you decide to do, and however you choose to live your life, there will be people on this forum you want to help you and support you.

  Take care

  LUHE
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  nicolaou

  You're not alone. May I ask why you still believe in Jehovah?
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  Richard Oliver

  Jean I am in very much the same circumstances. I still believe in the tenets of JWs except that I am gay. It is rough I am not going to say it isn't but you have to do what you think is best for you and your circumstances and what you believe in. I still remember what a psychiatrist told me when I was coming to terms with my sexuality, he was gay too, he said there is no wrong way to live as a gay man, everyone has different circumstances and different desires.
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  steve2

  I am also gay but totally reject JW organization's teachings - but then I am also an atheist. I am not an atheist because of my JW background or because I am gay.

  There is no similarity with single heterosexual JWs who cannot find a suitable mate. At least single heterosexual JWs do not beat themselves up for having "normal" sexual desires; they can tell themselves, "I'm single because there is no suitable marriage mate for me."

  By contrast, JWs who are gay have to stamp out their urges and often feel guilty just for having those feelings. One JW elder told me in the nicest way possible that my "personality" was "defective" and if I acted on my homosexuality, I would end up "mental".

  Little wonder I often felt suicidal as a JW and only began to drop the sick talk after I left JW and Christianity way behind.
  

  Welcome to the forum, Jean.
  
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  Simon

  Why would anyone want to belong to a group that fundamentally opposes and condemns who they are? Isn't it like a black guy wanting to join the KKK?

  I know the real difficulty is if you've been raised in it, but isn't it like any other of the myriad reasons for leaving - at some point you realize you don't belong or fit in because who you are / what you believe / how you want to live is incompatible with what they see as acceptable?

  Not that there is anything wrong with someone chose that they do want to attempt to comply, but I guess you'd have to genuinely believe the "divine" part to do so?
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  fulltimestudent

  My gay xjw friend says having sex with another guy and getting kicked out of the YHWH/JESUS were thetwo best things that happened to him. (up to that point). The sex of course, is easy to understand, but getting chucked out is more difficult, as in his case he lost his family, gave them all the money they had, and started a new life, that turned out far better than his old life.

  One thing he did say that may help you, is that he feels he was lucky to fall among 'good people' in the gay community. He could have (he feels) got lost in the part of the gay community that is involved in 'escapism.' So maybe you need to use your own commonsense in judging who you allow to influence you.

  But the main reason I wanted to post is this video, by a young Russian man. Gay people have it a bit tough in Russia (due again to bigoted christians, in this case the Russian orthodox bigots).

  Maybe you will find the video helpful, I think he speaks some sense.

  Make sure you switch the sub-titling on, as he speaks in Russian.

  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljY3o3tVgic
  
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  Finkelstein

  The over amount of people who have accepted themselves as gay and in the JWS religion, usually end up leaving the JWS for its hash and strict admonishment of that alternative lifestyle.