I`m going out on a limb here ! ....PIMO

by smiddy3 22 Replies latest jw friends

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  smiddy3

  PIMO , as i said I`m going out on a limb here and I might upset some people ,but I really don`t think this is a real strategy that works and doesn`t help the person who is still in.

  While you may be doing this to keep the peace in the household and keep relations somewhat stable in the family arrangement ,it`s not helping the person who is still under the control of WT/GB to break free from it ,and isn`t that what you would really like to happen ?

  And are their children involved as well ? That`s another issue ,the longer they are subject to this control the harder it will be for them to disengage get free.

  Maybe you should re-evaluate what you could do more to help your partner / spouse or whatever to free themselves from this bondage they have involved themselves in.

  [ Of course their may be others who are quite happy to have their partners/mates under the control of the WT/GB. for their own selfish ends ]
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  punkofnice

  It's a tough one smidds.

  I imagine it's going to be each case on it's own merits.

  I might upset some people

  

  It's only snowflake idiots that'll be offended.
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  TonusOH

  I think it depends on the situation, there is no one-size-fits-all approach. I don't think I could go PIMO, it was difficult enough being active when I was still convinced that it was true and trying to find a way to get to more meetings and field service. Once I recognized that I did not believe, I pretty much stopped altogether. But I did not have the pressure that others do, in that I could walk away with only one real casualty (my mother), and she was dependent on me and not the other way around.

  I think that most PIMO are in a tricky spot, especially if they are young. It's not their fault that their family and friends will turn against them and harm them mentally, emotionally, and possibly financially. Sometimes they have to play the hand that is dealt, and look for ways to build a support system so they aren't left adrift when they finally go POMO.
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  Tameria2001

  I was one of those, once I finally figured out about the Watchtower, I was one of those who "Ripped off the Band-Aid" so to speak, regardless of the outcome. At the time I was very scared of whether or not my marriage would have survived or not. Little did I know at the time my husband, who also grew up in the cult, did not believe in it but was just playing the game to make his mom and myself happy. After learning what I learned there was no way I could ever be a PIMO, to me it would have been going back to what I had vomited out. From that day forward I have never stepped foot back in another Kingdom Hall, not even for funerals. I was not going to send in a letter of dissociation, but I eventually did because it was the only way to end the Bull S. my brother-in-law was pulling on both my husband and me, so we sent it off back in Sep. 2001. At the time my children were just getting ready to turn 4 and 6 years of age. The oldest still remembers bits and pieces of his time in, but the youngest doesn't remember any, other than what he has asked me about over the years. The best part of not being a PIMO is that my sons did not grow up confused in their minds. Instead one is finishing up his time in the army, and the other is getting ready to start working towards his Master's (in college), and happily married.
  
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  Godlyman

  I have faced this dilemma recently. Not as a family but on my own, so no children involved. Some years back I decided that many of the JW's teachings did not add up, so I pretty much left the congregation. About a couple months back I attended a Sunday meeting and many of my friends greeted me thinking I was still a JW I believe. However, I had relayed to a close friend that I did not believe in the FDS anymore so could not return as a JW.

  During the watchtower study I raised my hand in order to give a comment stating my name and that I was attending as a visitor. I noticed thereafter; the conductor refused to call upon me in order to comment. Will they allow me to visit on occasion without taking steps to gain me back or considering me to be an apostate? In order to find out, I feel the need to contact the elders in order to explain my circumstances. I will then know what to do.

  Estephan
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  DesirousOfChange

  I feel the need to contact the elders in order to explain my circumstances.

  Simply explain to the elders that you do not believe in the DFS and "problem solved". They will announce: "Estephan is no longer one of JW's." See there, no more confusion.
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  Lost in the fog

  I personally found that being PIMO led to mental illness. Every time I went back to the congregation I wanted to scream out "Hypocrites, Liars" because nothing made logical sense to me anymore. The only way to stop myself having a total breakdown was to withdraw myself completely and choose POMO.

  Whatever path you personally decide to choose I wish you the best now and into the future...
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  Beth Sarim

  Lost in the fog;

  Exactly. Just quit going.
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  BluesBrother

  For a while , I was PIMO , while I was organising an exit that would not cost me my wife and home. That was 20 years ago and my home life is better than ever was when I was in.

  During that time it was terrible. I felt a hypocrite and everyone despises a hypocrite. I could not have kept it up for long . I tried hard to help her see the “truth about the truth “ but it was no good . Eventually we agreed to differ and settled down .
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  Queequeg

  As several have already mentioned, there's no cookie cutter, one size fits all approach.

  When I first started lurking on this site about 14 years ago, I knew that I wouldn't last too long in the JW cult.

  I was desperate to figure out a way to escape with my wife. I started reading posts from the beginning of this forum up through the years, looking for ideas that had worked for people trying to get their significant others out. I started noticing a pattern. Generally, when people would say something like, "I can't do this anymore, this weekend I'm going to tell her/him the truth about JW.", it didn't go well. The exception was situations like Tameria2001 described above. I read other forums and saw the same thing.

  Because of the examples that I'd read, I decided on the slow, steady, tortoise method of trying to help my wife. At a certain point, I could hardly stand entering a Kingdom Hall, being PIMO was incredibly stressful for me. I was able to keep faking just long enough to help my wife see the "truth". Not long after we left I had an endoscope (stomach scope) and the doctor asked my wife if I'd been under extreme stress in the recent past (I was still knocked out). My wife laughed and said, "Yes, why?" The doctor told her there were scars all over my stomach from recent ulcers!

  Was it worth it? My wife says that she's pretty sure that if I'd hit her over the head with things, it wouldn't have gone well. Once or twice a year, I'll get a text or a card from my wife that says something like, "I saw a car group out in field service today. Thank you for loving me enough to help me get out of that awful religion!"