What are the Society's rules when confronting a disfellowshipped person at a funeral service?

by RULES & REGULATIONS 17 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  RULES & REGULATIONS

  

  What are the Society's rules when confronting a disfellowshipped person at a funeral service?

  Are there specific rules or Watchtower articles that must be followed?

  I have been to three different wakes/funerals where a disfellowshipped person attended with different results.

  1. Ten years ago my first cousin passed away. Her disfellowshipped son was made to stand about 10 feet away from his mom's casket. He could not sit in the front row of chairs where family and friends paid their last respects. Everyone (who was a Jehovah's Witness ) refused to acknowledge him and walked away without a greeting.

  2. A disfellowshipped brother's mom passed away. Everyone shook his hand to pay their condolences. He even sat in the front row. A Circuit Overseer was in town that week and he had no problem shaking the disfellowshipped brother's hand.

  3. While attending a family friends wake/funeral, my two Jehovah's Witness cousins spotted a disfellowshipped brother walking up to the front row to pay his last respects. They immediately got up and walked to the back of the funeral home as soon as the disfellowshipped brother took his seat near us. I had no problem shaking his hand or having a friendly conversation with him.

  I always hated the fact that the Watchtower Society and Elders take over a funeral with their rules and regulations. Never have I seen a family member (who wasn't a Jehovah's Witness) say a few kind words about the deceased at a funeral service.
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  TheListener

  My experience is that it depends on the family and congregation. Your experiences seem to indicate the same.
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  road to nowhere

  It does depend on the locals and how self righteous they are. There may be a bit of reaction if you know what the offense was

  I will greet, hug, visit with them, hounders be damned. And that goes for ANY time I see one. Being human
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  DesirousOfChange

  I'm the guy (even as an elder) in case #2. Jesus yielded and ignored the law when speaking with the Samaritan women at the wall. "By law", he should have been put to death. Regardless of what you think about the JW DFing rule (frankly I now think it's bullshit) but even as a JW, "yielding" to show your sympathy to someone who has lost a loved one is THE RIGHT THING TO DO. Shunning them is a BAD witness to others and it hardens their resolve to NEVER "return to Joe Hoover".

  JW's as in Case #3 are self-righteous pompous assholes.

  In Case #1, I agree with your assessment that JW Elders think they have the authority to just "take over" and enforce their rules and their thinking. FUCK 'EM if they're not paying the funeral bill (or insert whatever occasion).
  
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  stan livedeath

  which is why--i never informed the local jdub congregation when i arranged my father's funeral. Saved them all that embarrassment at having to ignore me.
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  Fadeaway1962

  Think it depends on the elders and sadly how they view the individual disfellowshiped person , some will veiw it as" necessary family business" .

  On one occasion at the kingdom hall they were ok with the disfellowshiped person but made a scene at the gathering after.

  Another occasion at the disfellowshiped person mother's funeral they were left alone and people that grew up with the person ,were can we speak to the person over their loss and I explained that a funeral is necessary family business they were ok then to express the sorrow at the loss of the person mother .

  That was a few years ago what the rules are now ,who knows .
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  Overrated

  At my father's services(he services) a life long friend of the family who know me and my father saw me and didn't even greet me because I'm no longer in the trooth. So damn high school bs.
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  neat blue dog

  I've seen a little bit of shunning at funerals but it seems that most times disfellowshipping rules temporarily go out the window, even with elders. Hey, even Michael Jackson got a JW funeral talk.
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  The Bethelite

  I guess I don't know because when my inactive father died my JW sister never bothered to call me to let me know of his passing. So I guess you could say I was shunned and given no opportunity to attend my own father's funeral.....

  "By their you will recognize them" Boy isn't that true.
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  RULES & REGULATIONS

  
  The Bethelite

  I guess I don't know because when my inactive father died my JW sister never bothered to call me to let me know of his passing.
  

  How did you find out about your dad's passing?

  Have you spoken to your sister since?