i had it hammered into me at an early age - not to bring reproach on jehovahs name. everything had to be dealt with internally ..if at all.
This is exactly true. Bringing reproach on Jehovah's name was the absolute worst thing you could do and if you were a good JW, you would tolerate ANYTHING in order to avoid that. That was the be-all and end-all of your activity and if it meant that little children got hurt in the process, well, they would be taken care of somehow, either invisibly by angels and you would not know about it but Jehovah would OR in the New Order. Now, that seems so crazy but it is honestly the way I was raised and it was accepted by everyone that I knew of in the congregation.