Disfellowshipping Question

Elizabeth Thompson

I have been a baptized witness for about 30 years. From the time I was a kid. I've been the only one in my family who is baptized until 15 years later when my mother got baptized. A brother that I was in love with got disfellowshipped a few years ago. We continued to keep in touch because of our feelings for each other. We recently married several months ago. We both agreed to be at peace with each other's faith. However, because of my recent viewing of YouTube videos and research online, I am starting to wake up. Most troubling is what I am finding out about the history of this organization, and also the pedophile situation. However I know a lot of good people with good intentions like myself who are witnesses. So obviously I have some choices to make. I'm wondering if anyone can confirm for me that I will be disfellowshipped once I speak to the elders about my marriage. I am hoping to just end up on reproof so that I can have time to decide if I am ready to walk away. I think I already know the answer, but any insight or answers would be so greatly appreciated. Thank you much!

LostGeneration

Your story is a little confusing...were you not free to marry, I'm talking JW version (BARF)

Why talk to them? Just fade away and decide for yourself what to do.

Simon

Just don't tell them anything. They are nothing to you, if you leave you'll realize that they are self-appointed nobodies and you owe them no explanations for your life choices.

All you stand to do by talking is losing people who may not be at the same stage of awakening as you are.

Anders Andersen

Your story is a bit confusing to me?

What would you talk to the elders for?

They are just misguided men that follow cult rules...possibly enjoying the authority they can exercise over people who don't know any better.

I hope my comment doesn't put you off, but really...even the most sincere, good hearted and honest people can not be woken up by merely talking with them. It has to come from within themselves mainly.

Don't put yourself in harms way by talking to elders please.

They have no authority over anything or anyone but themselves. You don't owe them or any other JW any explanation for your future or past decisions.

problemaddict 2

In answer to your question, if you reveal you married someone disfellowshipped I would bet dollars to donuts you would be disfellowshipped.

So why do you want to talk to the elders about this? Especailly in light of all you have learned?

Elizabeth Thompson

I appreciate the responses! Yes, I'm free to marry, but I guess I'm still of the JW mindset in some ways. With every day I'm learning more that I didn't know, and am starting to see that the Almighty and his son are the only ones that I am accountable to. Particularly enlightening are the videos by Ray Franz, and other ex elders who shed light on what really happens during those elders meetings that affect the entire congregations. My husband, like many of you, tells me that I do not owe the elders an explanation. I am starting to really see this and may just step away or fade away. Thank you so much.

thereishope

Hi. I, too, was a little confused by your post. I am relatively new here and still very confused about things and learning so much. Funny, but my first post here was about possibly being disfellowshipped, just for reading a website other than jw.org - ooooo! the big scary D-word. Anyway, I think maybe youre writing about losing friends and family when disfellowshipped. Just for now, please just keep reading here and learning and asking your questions. People here will understand and help, truly! I respectfully suggest that you give this whole issue lots more thought and lots more time and lots more reading. I, too, thought I would just step away or fade away, thought maybe it would be kind of easy. What I could not foresee was the reaction of other people, even though now in hindsight I should have. No, don't go to the elders, you owe them nothing. They wonèt help you, they wonèt be on your side. As much as possible communicate only with people who you are sure will support your decision ie be on your side. I think that's what you need right now. Deal with the harder people and issues sometime when you are further along this path and feeling stronger and clearer. Anyway, my two cents worth ... please take good care of yourself and keep us posted.

Darryl

I am with problemaddict on this one. The elders apparently know nothing about your husband he must be from somewhere else and nobody knows him. But you said you 2 were in love before he got disfellowshipped??? I am confused as well. But of course even talking to a df'd person much less marrying him is grounds for you being disfellowshipped. How good standing people deal with df'd people in the eyes of the WT society is all about loyalty. Who are you going to be loyal to, who's side are you on, what choice will you make. You've made your choice and for that you will have to pay if they ever find out. What really confuses me is the apparent fact that no one has turned you in. Does anyone know you are married? And to whom? The gossip mill must have really slowed down since I was in witnesses used to live for opportunities to turn others in for wrongdoing. I am sure there are a few in your cong who know this young man and the fact that he's df'd they probably know every df'd person in your area yet no one has spilled the beans. I know no one has because you would have a meeting scheduled if they did. Stay under the radar as long as you can is my advice

Khaleesi

I agree too why talk to them, it's a personal matter, you don't need permission from anyone to marry anybody or inform them that u got married.... when 1 elder heard i was engaged, he asked me i said I was & then he said I should inform the other elders, i told him i was an adult & don't need permission to be engaged or marry, it was my personal business... you don't owe anyone any explanations of your life choices, don't give them any power they don't deserve.

Is ur DF husband also awake?

LisaRose

I have been away for while, but I suspect you will be disfellowshipped if it comes out that you married a disfellowshipped person. It depends on the elders involved and how much or what you choose to tell them.

I see no upside to you going to the elders. You know in your heart you have done nothing wrong, a judicial committee will cause nothing but harm.

Disfellowshipping Question

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