Did you ever believe you were a good person only because...................

BLISSISIGNORANCE

........................you were a dub, and that made you better than if you were not a dub?????????????

It seems to come up in conversation time and time again with X or inactive dubs my hubby and I talk to.

We often discuss with them the reasons we left the borg, the things that that have really hurt us and the wrong teachings. Often we find ourselves saying things like, "I'm STILL a good person, even though I'm not a witness anymore." It's almost like not believing in yourself and trying to give credit for your positive to an organization rather than to yourself. Justifying your good qualities and why you have them. Then I started to contemplate how I allowed myself to believe that I probably wasn't going to be a decent and good person without the dub teachings and influence.

But I have come to understand that it has probably to do with the brain-washing and control of the borg. If they can get us doubting and not liking ourselves they can control us better. I mean to say, I was always an ok person BB(before borg)and still am AB(after borg). But while I was under the borg's influence I truley believed it was them, the bible, the HS, god's spirit etc that REFINED me and moulded me into a good person.

I now know it's not true! I am who I am because I want to be who I am.

How many of you have had the same feelings about yourselves? And how many of you have now taken responsability and feel proud for the good persons YOU are, without the borg to make you that way??????????

Anyhow, it's just something I thought about today while having a quiet moment at work.

Look forward to your replies.

Cheers and merry Xmas from Australia. Bliss

Narkissos

I'd like to answer but... I'm desperately bad!

Merry Christmas though!

Panda

I never felt worthy or "good" as a JW. Now I'm just full of my own goodness. I think because now , even with chronic urticaria that the things I volunteer for make a difference. I now know my limitations and work with those. So now I think I'm a much better person than my borg days.

Oxnard Hamster

I felt like being a dub was part of the reason I was a good person, but I don't think it was the only reason. I didn't study with them until I was 22. Before that, I never was a trouble maker, and I always tried to help people out. I thought I was a decent person. I had that with me even when the dubs were working me over with their garbage.

Sassy

I think the feeling about whether we are good.. Or good enough comes from all the talks we had on people, those that were JWs and those who were not. Talks about having 'wordly' assocation, or dating a 'non-JW' and the talk would have comments like "but he/or she IS A GOOD PERSON" and then they would go on to show you how you may "THINK THEY ARE A GOOD PERSON" but indeed they are not, they are not acceptable to 'God' and thereby associating with them, we are being bad.

so when we leave, suddenly we are that "she or he is a good person' but are we? Yes we are, or we can be!! but we have to shed somehow all those years of brain maniupulation.

ApagaLaLuz

yes

SanFranciscoJim

Did you ever believe you were a good person only because...
.....you were a dub, and that made you better than if you were not a dub???

In my case, as a proselytized person, I believed I was a good person, and that is why I became a dub.

I felt as if I were being handed a sacred trust, to go door to door offering the opportunity to live forever to others.

It was not until after I became baptized that I was made to feel unworthy, dirty, and evil.