If I'd just pretended to have an anxiety disorder and had a few panic attacks while out in service, I could have been spared the horrors of Theocratic Ministry School AND going out in service. I would've missed out on a lot of field-service trips to Edward's Apple Orchard, but I could have stayed at home and put off getting baptized until I had enough money saved from my paper routes to make a proper break for it! why didn't I think of this ten years ago? this explains why just about every woman in the congregation had some kind of mood disorder. I thought they were just hypochondriacs, but they were being CLEVER! they sure schooled me!
I just realized something...
by LuckyNun 10 Replies latest jw experiences
-
-
Valis
Most probably you would have been admonished to pray harder and suck it up...
Sincerely,
District Overbeer
-
Sassy
that would never have been enough to get off in any cong I was ever in.. And I had serious anxiety attacks going in service..
but they put the guilt on you .. and if you want to survive Armegeddon.. you better get preaching
-
LuckyNun
I just wish I'd had access to something like this ten years ago. I could have just asked, "how do I fade?" and let the experts get me on the right path.
-
metatron
Ye are not far from the Kingdom, so to speak.
metatron
-
Sassy
I wish my eyes had been open ten years ago too.. but I did know about this site close to when it opened but I wasn't ready to really 'see' yet then.. sometimes it is just timing.
-
bisous
They didn't have the internet when the lights came on for me (from about age 11 or 12 till 21 when I kissed their arses good-bye)......quite an isolating experience in the 80s. Can't believe I didn't even think to look until now....duuuuhhhhhhhhhhhh....but then the last thing I've spent my time doing is try to think about JWs, WTS, KHs or anything else....until my mother decided to return to the cult.
Just lately it dawned on me to do a search on JWs, and lo and behold here you all were, waiting with your kind words, support and welcome!
(((((((((((((((((((((((((T H A N K Y O U A L L )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
-
Carmel
Hey bi, try leaving in the late 50's! Like the mob, there's no leaving gracefully. They track you down and try to scare you back in. Fortunately for me, at 14 I was 6'3" and not easily bamboozled by the fear tactics. Got my sorry arse out and never looked back.
carmel
-
CruithneLaLuna
Genuine moods disorders arise as a result of being a sincere JW.
-
LuckyNun
oh, I know. I never met a JW who seemed truly, truly happy, except for a few "special" people with limited intellect (and even in that family, there were rumors that the husband beat up the wife, she was always breaking something and had very flimsy excuses for her injuries: how DO you break your arm while vacuuming? but she just kept smiling), and a couple of people who were borderline delusional and later diagnosed with schizophrenia or severe bi-polar disorder. in fact, one lady with schizophrenia became very sick after she couldn't afford to buy her meds anymore, and the elders disfellowshipped her for her ranting and erratic behavior (while off her meds). this was in 1989, not quite the Dark Ages, but they accused her of being demonized at one point. of course, these were the same group of elders who made me "bad association" for being gang-raped because it was within the city limits (in a drain tunnel) and I admitted that I hadn't kept screaming because they said they were gonna kill me if I didn't shut up. they used the scriptures about being raped in the city and everything. I was at that time trying to be a good JW and follow the rules, and I ended up being very depressed for years from self-loathing over "letting" myself be raped, much longer than if someone had pulled me aside, let me cry and told me it was not my fault and that the only important thing was that I survived. that didn't happen for about five years. yes, I think you're right. trying to be a good JW eventually leads to mood disorders, no matter what.