Winston,
Won't you miss that old bitty and others like her? I mean, c'mon! They are such nice people!
Congrats again for the big DA! I hope that you're wife is okay with it!
Ahhhh! Let the shunning begin...
by Winston Smith :>D 17 Replies latest jw experiences
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shotgun
Paul..I'm sorry I asked your wife to come to my house and cut my hair you sensitive little snot. As she would not come over and I no longer associate with the likes of you I was forced to wax my bikini line instead of having it professionally trimmed.
Damn you..the pain was incredible....you are really a tool of Satan, albeit a dull one.
P.S...Sounds like things at home are actually a little better now than they were before. Hope that lasts for you.
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Special K
Hi Paul..
Interesting to hear the results of your sending out your letters to your friends.
I really appreciate you letting me see the whole process of disassociating yourself. I have never viewed it from this angle as I was disfellowshipped cold turkey.
I find it fascinating to think about what it would have been like to disassociate myself.
If I would have had a choice I would have rather disassociated myself rather than being disfellowshipped.
I think, for me, I would have felt like I was making the decision in it all, and that I was taking the steps into the direction I wanted rather than having those things taken from me and having it forced upon me... but that is just me. I have read from others on the forum who felt the opposite of that. Oh well, I guess that is what makes us individuals and not borg like anymore.
Hey, and guess what .. our mutual friend is mailing an audio copy of that book I asked you about. It's amazing the things flying from Pacific to Atlantic these days.
all the best to you and your wife.
Special K
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Winston Smith :>D
That's absolutely great! I don't know why, but it's great! I guess it's because you decided to directly let people know rather than let the gossip flow. Nos
Well, that was part of my reason for doing the letters.
I actually sent it to some people in other congregations and within our own KH with the express purpose of them gossiping. They are known to be Chatty Cathys. I love the fact that I could rely on them to be poor Christians and to start gossiping and spread a grain of truth about my leaving before it was announced in our own congregation. Gotta love it!!!
Another Paul...... I hope it doesn't cause you too many problems. Paul Gadget
You?ll always be gadget to me. With a little Homer mixed in for good measure
So, at least four people will continue to be open to you. That is good news. There may be hope for them too. J
Well the two that talked to me after getting the letter weren?t a big surprise. They are still semi-active JW?s, but they have also read CoC. It amazes me that they are still in, but then again, they have a large family in the Borg and therefore our situations are different. It would be easy to judge them in my previous Dubby mindset, but I leave the judging to someone else now. If they see fit to stay, then that?s their stand for now and I would never hold it against them.
One good thing about them still being in was that, even though I had no idea that they had CoC, I knew deep down that they had reservations about the authority structure in the Borg. Knowing this, I approached one of them a couple of months ago and pussy-footed around, dropping hints about our gripes RE the WTS. Enough was said that we both knew that the other had read CoC. I?m glad therefore that some stick around if only because I had someone to discuss my concerns with face to face.
I envy your guts on sending in the letter. I'm seriously considering writing one myself. Sns
It?s nice for you to say this. But to be honest, I feel it took zero courage on my part. I was just disgusted with the WTS and had to get out of it. No more courage to do what I did than to walk out of a backed-up outhouse with nasty fecal matter all over the floor. It was the natural thing to do. Staying only made me sick to my stomach.
At times I allowed myself to feel guilty for throwing all of this on my wife so quickly instead of staying in longer for her sake. At times I wonder if I could have let her know the doubts I had at a slower pace and then possibly got her out too. Unlikely, but the thought still occurs at times.
Anyways, follow your guts. Whatever you feel is best for your life is what you need to do. I talked to a few DF?d & DA?d people face to face before making my decision. I saw that they were better off, and I wanted that glorious freedom. It is sweet now to have it. It makes me giggle at times like a little girl just thinking about being free from the Borg!
They are such nice people! Congrats again for the big DA! I hope that you're wife is okay with it! Shamus
They are such nice
hypocritespeople!My wife does get depressed about it at times. When we spend time together alone, things are great. When she spends time around the dubs, she comes back depressed. She is now depressed because tonight may be the big announcement. Heck, I may even get my own ?Local Special Needs? part. Wouldn?t that be exciting???
But regardless, it is going to be hard for my wife to sit there and listen to an announcement that, in her mind, is akin to a Death Penalty. I feel somewhat relived that at least the majority of the congregation knows why and can sympathize with her to a degree after the meeting and ?love-bomb? her.
Paul..I'm sorry I asked your wife to come to my house and cut my hair you sensitive little snot. As she would not come over and I no longer associate with the likes of you I was forced to wax my bikini line instead of having it professionally trimmed.
Damn you..the pain was incredible....you are really a tool of Satan, albeit a dull one.
Shotgun
P.S...Sounds like things at home are actually a little better now than they were before. Hope that lasts for you
Well shotgun, when your whole back needs to be waxed to have the hair removed off of it, ya, that?s gonna hurt.
So you went all of the way down to the bikini area, huh? Glad to hear you had the room to maneuver down there.
And don?t forget what my CO once told the congregation about Satan?s tools.
?The most frequently used tool by Satan is also the dullest.?
Seriously though, yes things are better. I hope it lasts too. We will see though if she gets another labotomy from the elders in the near future.
I find it fascinating to think about what it would have been like to disassociate myself. If I would have had a choice I would have rather disassociated myself rather than being disfellowshipped. Special K
The way I viewed the two options, it was comparable to saying, ?You can?t fire me, because I QUIT!?
Little difference in the end, but at least I got to walk out with my head held high.
our mutual friend is mailing an audio copy of that book I asked you about.
Yes, I heard. It?s nice to know that in this day and age even the illiterate can expand their knowledge base
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Maverick
I did the same thing you did as to sending the letter out to the "friends" myself and not letting the Elders put their usual spin on things. They have to be careful because they don't know WHO got letters and they don't want to be caught in a lie. I sent one to the WTS first, when the next day, a Friday, sent out letters locally using three different post offices and differing types of letters and stamps to mask the style so they couldn't call around and warn anyone. I also did not put the correct return address on many of them, for some I used the PO's address, and some I addressed to the wives who I knew were gossips. I did not send any to the local PO or CO. Everyone got their letters on Saturday! The only problem I ran into is most of the Elders do not have listed addresses in the phone book. I used the old K-hall address pages they use to give out to all the Elders and Servants. So most of the current Elders did not get the letters. Mostly just Joe-Blow publishers got them. And I sent out many, many, letters to people in at least five different Congs in three States! It took them six weeks to sort it out!
I wish you the best, Maverick
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xjw_b12
Winston. No shunning here friend.
As a side note, I have had two people that I sent the letters to tell me that they will not shun me and will continue to talk to me.
That's a good sign. Let's hope it continues.
Take care
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cyberguy
Hey Paul!
I just got back from Seattle, on a mini-weekend vacation! I had to get my miles up to keep my frequent-flyer status (double miles; I usually fly 1 st class from Hawaii/mainland, on-the-mainland -- I get a free upgrade every time I fly, etc.). OK, maybe this is just an excuse for me to get out-of-the house! Hehe! Anyway, you don?t have to worry about me shunning you! However, I?d appreciate your keeping my identity secret, due to the fact that my brother is still "in," but not wanting to see me anymore?maybe something will change?he might start "acting like Christ?"
I believe you have no intent to "out-me." You strike me as a very honorable person! As we?ve discussed on the phone, you ALWAYS have a friend here! I don?t really care what the Watchtower Society does, directly or indirectly! Its policies regarding DF?ing and DA?ing are not scriptural! So how could I obey them?
Be careful though; please contemplate your wife?s situation, since the "superior authorities" (i.e., ELDERS) will be pressuring her to "split" from you! This is one of the most insane (elder?s only know-about-this) policy the Society has! That is, if a person DA?s himself/herself, the other mate has grounds to separate! This IS NOT CHRISTIAN!!! THIS IS NOT A BIBLE TEACHING!!!
Anyway, to me, you?re an extremely kind, caring, reasonable, insightful, and thoughtful person! YOU?VE DONE NOTHING WRONG!!! So, how can I possibly abandon my Christian "brother" in his time of need? Please call me any time! Furthermore, do what ever you can to prevent evil men from separating your wife from you! This should be your next concern. I was an elder for years and the threat is real!
She sounds, from what you?ve said, like someone you love dearly! Therefore, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE don?t let the leaven of the "Pharisees" corrupt your relationship with your wife. If need-be, back-off a bit, let her adjust, contemplate, determine, and mediate on what she needs to do! Your example can actually carry more weight than anything you can say! This is just my 2-cents, for whatever it is worth!
Hand in there! My prayers are with you and your wife! Take care! Show your love for your wife each day! God Bless! Christian Love!
Cyberguy!
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seattleniceguy
Paul,
Your bio says you DA'd on December 5?? That's the same date as me!
Amen on your reasons for DA'ing. I weighed my options for three months after I decided I knew the organization was wrong. I felt like I wanted to help the people still on the inside, but it became increasingly clear that I was not able to do that very well even as an inactive, but still on-the-rolls, person. And when I did meet Witnesses, I tended to be very passionate about my position, so I felt like it was only a matter of time until I was disfellowshipped for apostasy, which I did not want because it would totally misrepresent what actually happenend.
I finally realized that the best thing I could do that suited my conscience and my desire to help others was to make the conscientious decision to DA. It helps others in the organization because it is a vote of moral support to people - even if deeply subconsciously - that they can do it too.
Anyway, kudos to you! Congratulations, way to go, all that stuff!
SNG