Should I invite the parents to our wedding??

smurfy

Ok, here's a problem that I am looking for a little advice with. My fiance is an ex jw and his parents (and other family members) are still practicing. they have pretty much totally cut him off since he moved in with me. he has no problem not inviting them and says that he would actually feel more comfortable if they weren't there to judge his every move. they told me to my face the first time that they met me that they would be unable to attend if the ceremony or reception had any kind of religious affiliation. i would like our marraige announced before God in some way. they also called my fiance once and said " well, i guess everyone has to get love from *somewhere*" Nice to know thats what they think of me. i am fine with it but i have grown up thinking that even if you really didn't like people in your family, they are still family and you "have to" invite them. I can't imagine turning my back on anyone in my family for any reason, and believe me, some of them i have great reason to do that! Anyways, just wanted to get some input from some people who are experienced with this sort of stuff.

Thanks!!

morty

Well, your new "hubby to be" is probably feeling right about the whole thing..he is correct when he says they will watch every move he makes...It is his and your wedding, and I feel the right thing to do is invite them...If they decline, then you have done what you could to make it right.( you are the better person)....It is a shame when your own blood cannot be happy for you...You obviously have captured his heart, and as long as he has you, this will make your wedding complete...Congratulations, you are the better person

Morty

franklin J

Hi smurfy, and congratulations

I could not have said it any better than Mortons68; I think her advice is on the mark.

It will be such a happy day for both of you, and you should both have everything you want, even if it includes a religious service.

You will always have to live with your decisions, and if the extended family decides not to attend, they will have to live with their decision. The important thing for you is that HE is supportive of you.

The JW teachings promote selfishness and intolerance. Blood relations have no bearing. You can rise above that ( and show THEM a good example) by including his family in the invitations. But please do not let them dampen your enjoyment of the day if they do not attend. Move on with your life and let them see that their intolerence, and their lack of judgement, will not affect you.

Good luck, and make sure you enjoy your reception!

Frank

Nosferatu

Invite the parents. If they don't show, they're the ones who are going to have to answer for their actions. If you don't invite them, you have to answer for your actions.

With my wedding, I'd prefer not to invite my dad. I have no clue if he'll show up if I invite him, but I don't want to be answering "Why didn't you invite me" for the rest of my life. Putting up with them one day is a small price to pay to eliminate a lifetime of questioning. Plus, who says you have to associate with them all night? A short & sweet conversation is all you need to have with them, and then you can focus on more important people for the rest of the night.

integ

yes

simplesally

I would, just let them decide. Besides, they can leave when the religious part starts. As a former JW, I attended Catholic ceremonies but when they had the Mass, I left til it was time for the bride and groom to kiss. They did the marriage ceremony first, then the Mass. If they choose they can go to the Reception.

blondie

Yes, invite them.

Blondie

Billygoat

I haven't read the responses and I'm just jumping in here. But I've been through a similar situation. I am an exJW and got married to my husband about a year ago. My parents are die-hard JWs and I still invited them. I knew it would hurt them if I didn't invite them and I would probably regret it myself. But even so, they made the decision to not come. It turned out for the best because I didn't really need the stress of them being there anyway. It turned out to be a beautiful wedding day and all the people that loved Neil and I were there. At least I have a clean conscience about having done the "right thing" and invited them. It was their decision to turn the invitation down. I feel like I was the bigger person having done it.

I wish you well!

Andi

Red Witch

BillyGoat just said it soooo well. I did & had almost the exact same experience with my wedding a couple of years ago, except my family did'nt even respond to the invitations. I was very glad they were not there, but it is also sad to not have your family there and happy for you. My husband and his family and our friends showed enough love to make up for it though. But your hubby to be may appreciate you understanding that even if he says he doesn't care if they are there or would really rather they weren't, there is still a little sad spot in the heart when those who are supposed care about you the most show publicly they don't.

Best Wishes and be Very Very Happy

Country_Woman

I agree with BillyGoat - much better - keep the honor at your side.
They probably won't show up - but thats there problem.

Should I invite the parents to our wedding??

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